El Cantante Page #4

Santa- we-

we go way back.

? December's here again?

? That means it's time

for Christmas?

? Children wait

for Santa?

? Reindeer

and his sleigh...?

Who's there?

- ? Grandma likes to decorate...?

- Who is it?

- ? While everyone celebrates...?

- Is that Santa Claus?

- ? Christmas...?

- Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!

Tito, look!

This is all for you,

little boy-

a present

from Santa Claus.

- Tell his father he's a good boy.

- Okay.

Oh ho ho ho

ho ho ho ho!

Agh!

I'm okay.

? Lo lai le lo le, lo lai le lo la?

? Though you don't want me to?

? I came to sing?

? And cheer everyone up?

? With a voice of happiness?

? I bring harmony to

your sacred home?

? Let me bring harmony?

? To your sacred home.?

Number one, baby.

To life!

? This ain't living,

this ain't living?

? No no, baby...?

- That's it.

- ? This ain't living...?

? No no no no?

? Inflation?

- ? No chance...?

- Whoo! Yeah, baby.

? To increase...?

? Finance?

? Bills pile up

sky high...?

That finger, man.

? Send that boy off?

? To die?

? Oh, make me

wanna holler...?

- ? The way they do my life?

- She's acting like a whore, Willie.

Hey, don't dance for her.

- ? Yeah, make me wanna holler?

- Don't dance with her, make her dance for you.

? The way they do

my life?

? Oh, baby...?

No, it was the '70s.

We all did it.

When I first met Hector,

I didn't do anything, though.

I didn't-

I did nothing.

I didn't drink. I didn't smoke.

I didn't do nothing.

But then, you know...

Whoo!

We had a good time.

Yeah.

Ah!

- She has pretty hair.

- She does, right?

- Yeah.

- Right.

You always wanted to be

with a woman, right?

Why, you like that?

I'd like that.

Come on.

Okay, but you

go first, okay?

With him.

Are you f***ing retarded

or something?

- Come on, babe, it will turn me on.

- What the f***?

- What's wrong with that?

- That's Willie. That's a f***ing man.

It'll turn me on.

You do him...

- Yeah yeah.

- ... and then I'll do her.

- I don't wanna make you jealous.

- Okay?

I don't know what's, uh,

normaI for other people,

but it was normaI

for us.

?... It makes me

wanna holler?

? And throw up

both my hands?

? Oh, ow!?

? Panic?

? Is spreading?

? God knows where?

? We're heading, oh...?

Great. Great.

Just great.

I'm not his babysitter,

Ralphie.

I'm his wife,

in case you forgot.

How could I forget?

You remind me every day.

- Then go get him.

- Ralphie...

Get in your car, Ralphie, and go get him

if you know where he is.

- Ralphie, give her a break, man.

- Tonight's not another night.

I don't care if he makes you wait.

He's not gonna make me wait.

- Oh, f*** you very much, Willie.

- I worked too hard

- to get to stand on that f***ing stage.

- Oh, did you really, Willie?

- Why is she here?

- Hello, you know, Willie's right.

You know,

he's f***ing up again, as usuaI.

Did- did anybody ask

for their money back?

I don't know, Eddie.

Were they upstairs at the ticket office

asking for their money back?

Did they?

No, Puchi.

No, but one day they will.

F***, man. The dog ate

the car keys, man.

- I had to borrow the neighbor's car to get here, man.

- That's a good one.

- Hi, babe.

- You don't have a dog.

Everybody, just give us

a f***ing second!

- Oh, f*** you.

- Are you f***ing happy with yourself?

I don't know. What did I do, man?

It's a true story.

- Don't f***ing listen to them.

- It's me, Hector, not the others.

I like to f*** around too,

but I take this seriously.

Oh, so do I, man.

Willie, you're gonna have

a heart attack, man.

- Relax.

- Hector, I wanted you in my band

because I saw you had

a one-in-a-million voice.

And you're a good man.

You're my best friend, my family.

And we've gotten far.

Listen, you wanna f*** yourself up,

you do it on your own time,

not on mine, you understand?

You need help- I'll help,

but you gotta

help me too.

You know, Willie,

I think you're talking

to the wrong guy.

- It's me. Yeah.

- Yeah? It's you?

F*** you, "it's you. "

I know it's you.

I'm not Puchi.

I'm not Jerry.

I'm not Ralph.

It's me.

I love you, man.

If this is about love,

you try loving yourself.

I get plenty of love

and I still get here on time.

- All right.

- All right? I'm your brother.

- Yeah.

- Come on, let's kill 'em.

- Did you wash your f***ing hands?

- Yeah, they're clean.

Let's go.

We're ready.

Are you ready, New York?

The Fania AII-Stars!

Um, I'm really lucky I have you.

I know.

Oh, well maybe-

maybe I don't.

I was driving here

tonight...

and I almost hit a f***ing cow.

Shut the f*** up.

Eh, what?

You got a question or something?

Wow, relax.

The president curses. He lies.

Where were you?

Uh-huh.

Check it out.

? Get out of the way

so I can take your place?

? Get out of the way?

? Get out of the way

so I can take your place?

? Get out of the way?

? Let the girlies dance?

? So they can have a good time,

yeah man?

? I don't care what they say?

? Because I'm a shark?

? Get out of the way

so I can take your place?

? Get out of the way?

? Get out of the way

so I can take your place?

? Get out of the way.?

I want my money.

After the show-

my money.

Get 'em, Willie Coln.

Let the music play on!

Let music roll. Yeah!

Ah, Puerto Rico, man.

Is Puerto Rico

your home?

You can call this Nuyorico.

Oh, you like to be here!

Babe, you believe this?

It's crazy.

I always did, remember?

Oh, yeah.

I love you, babe.

And you're here

with me.

I love you too.

Even when it looks

like I don't...

I do.

I know.

That for Christmas?

For later.

- Yeah?

- Or for now.

Ahoooo!

Hey, f*** you.

F*** you.

Hello?

I'm back.

Hector.

Tito?

- Hey, Mom.

- Where's your father?

I don't know.

He was here somewhere.

Puchi, enough, b*tch.

Leave me alone.

- Your son could have started a fire!

- Leave me the f*** alone, man.

- You could have started a fire too!

- Puchi, enough.

- At 10:
00 at night, he's over there eating alone!

- The baby was fine.

- The gas is on...

- He was fine before you got here, huh?

...while you're doing

Lord knows what.

- This is our home.

- The baby-

- What about this?

- Enough.

You leave this around? What,

you're starting to believe that sh*t?

- What's wrong with you?

- Ah, please, Puchi. Papi-

What, are you that big f***ing guy

on the album cover now,

- you can't even put it away?

- Papo gave me that f***ing gun, okay?

- Who f***ing cares who gave it to you?

- Oh, f*** you, man.

- This is bullshit. F*** it.

- Oh, that's right. Go ahead, leave.

- Yeah, okay.

- Walk away just like you always do.

- Nothing happened.

- Don't f***ing say-

Your father doesn't f***ing hate you,

your mother's not dead and-

- and your brother's in Harlem scoring dope somewhere.

- Yeah? Enough!

Who the f***

do you think you are, huh?

You wanna be a man?

You wanna be a f***ing man, huh?

Be a man. Huh?

Shut up.

Get out.

- Ah, yes.

- Get out. Get out.

Why don't you get out?

Get out. Get out!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes