Elf Page #8

Synopsis: Buddy (Will Ferrell) was accidentally transported to the North Pole as a toddler and raised to adulthood among Santa's elves. Unable to shake the feeling that he doesn't fit in, the adult Buddy travels to New York, in full elf uniform, in search of his real father. As it happens, this is Walter Hobbs (James Caan), a cynical businessman. After a DNA test proves this, Walter reluctantly attempts to start a relationship with the childlike Buddy with increasingly chaotic results.
Production: New Line Cinema
  2 wins & 7 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.9
Metacritic:
64
Rotten Tomatoes:
84%
PG
Year:
2003
97 min
$173,400,000
Website
16,218 Views


Everyone out there,

Santa needs us to believe, I can prove he's real.

Look, this is his list!

Okay... well, further confirmation

That there has been a Santa sighting tonight.

We have the naughty and nice list.

Lynn Kessler wants a power puff girls play set.

[Gasps]

Mark weber wants an electric guitar.

Yes!

Carolyn Reynolds wants a Suzy- talks-a-lot.

Thanks, buddy.

Dirk Lawson wants

A day of pampering at burke Williams spa.

Stan Tobias wants a power pumper water pistol.

Must be another dirk Lawson.

Dave keckler wants some Nike shocks.

Okay, uh, well, obviously we have

A new development in the story, uh,

A confirmation that Santa must have been sighted

Because we have his book right here.

[Chuckles] what's your name?

Uh, I'm charlotte den on, New York one.

"D," "D..."

Charlotte den on wants tiffany engagement ring

And for her boyfriend to stop dragging his feet

And commit already.

[Crowd oohs and aahs]

We've got power!

[Newsman:
] Charlotte... charlotte?

Hey, turn the cameras back on!

Who told you to say that?

It's the real Santa.

We need to get these cameras back on.

He needs our help!

Hey, Michael, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

But buddy, he's... he's in the park with Santa,

The sleigh won't fly

'cause there's no Christmas spirit.

Michael! Mom!

Michael! Ohh!

Are you okay? I'm fine.

The best way to spread Christmas cheer

Is singing loud for all to hear.

[Sighs]

Buddy... better get going, get in now!

Santa, I'm not done with the engine yet!

Can't wait!

On, dasher, on, dancer...

I'm not done with the engine!

[Santa cheers]

That's okay.

You get started, I'll catch up!

You know, he wasn't lying.

[Chuckles] Merry Christmas.

[Chuckles]

Santa, I can't...

Stop messing around and get in!

Aah! [Toy squeals]

Santa, why are they chasing us?!

I put the mon the naughty list,

And they never forgave me.

You better watch out, you better not cry

You better not pout, I'm telling you why

Santa Clausis coming' to town

[Santa:
] Yaah, yaah, yaah!

[Santa:
] Up, up, pull up!

Buddy! We need power, we're gonna crash!

He's making a list, Checking it twice

Gonna find out who's naughty and nice

Santa clausis coming' to town

He sees you when you're sleeping

He knows when you're awake

He knows if you've been bad or good

So be good for goodness sake

Oh, you better watch out, you better not cry

You better not pout, I'm telling you why

Santa Clausis coming to town

[Devilish laughter] Aah!

[Santa:
] You can do it! Come on, dancer.

That's my boy.

Pull, cupid! Aah!

Pull, dasher!

I'm getting too old for this job.

Now!

[Screaming]

[Laughing]

The engine's gone!

We're toast!

[Screaming]

Well, still no sign of Santa,

But some spontaneous Christmas caroling

Has broken out

Right herein front of central park.

Let's have a listen in.

He sees you when you're sleeping

He knows if you're awake

He knows if you've been bad or good

So be good for goodness sake

Hey!

You better watch out, you better not cry

You better not pout, I'm telling you why

Come on!

Santa clausis coming' to town

Santa:
Just a little more!

Hal-yah!

He knows when you're awake

He knows if you've

Wait... you're not singing.

Yes, I am.

No, you're not. You're just moving your lips.

Santa!

Michael, please, what's the big deal?

Dad.

I'm telling you why

Santa clausis coming to town

[Laughing]

[Santa chuckling]

Oh! Ha ha ha!

[Santa:
] Now, my beauties!

[Santa chuckling]

Bye-bye.

[Santa:
] Just like the old days!

[Newsman:
] Charlotte? Charlotte?

Well, I guess we'll never know for sure

What happened this Christmas Eve?

In central park.

[Santa:
] Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!

Ho ho ho!

[Papa Elf:
] And so, with a little help,

Buddy managed to save Christmas.

And his spirit saved a lot of other People, too.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot

And never brought to mind

Should auld acquaintance be forgot

Walter started his own independent publishing company.

His first book was written by a brand new,

Critically acclaimed children's author.

The book was elf...

A, uh, fictional story

About an adopted elf named buddy

Who was raised in the North Pole?

Went to New York, ate spaghetti,

Worked in a shiny mailroom,

And eventually saved Christmas.

"First, I traveled through the seven levels

"Of the candy cane forest,

"Past the sea of twirly-swirly gumdrops,

And then, I walked through the Lincoln tunnel."

And as for me, I can't complain.

Buddy comes up to visit from time to time.

In the meadow we can build a snowman

And pretend that he is parson brown

Oh, thank you, Jovie. That's very sweet of you.

You're welcome, papa.

But you can do the job when you're in town

Hey, Suzie.

Come here, little one.

When it snows, ain't it thrilling?

Papa wants to see you.

Though your nose get a little chilling

Buddy...

We'll frolic and play buddy... buddy...

The Eskimo way, walking in a winter wonderland

In the meadow we can build a snowman

And pretend that he is parson brown

He'll say, are you married, we'll say no, man

But you can do the job when you in town, brother

Later on, we'll conspire

As we dream by the fire

To face unafraid the plans That we made

Walking in a winter wonderland

Walking in a winter wonderland

I really can't stay

But, baby, it's cold outside

I've got to go 'way

But, baby, it's cold outside

This evening has been

Been hoping that you'd drop in

So very nice

I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice

My mother will start to worry

Beautiful, what's your hurry?

And father will be pacing the floor

Listen to that fireplace roar

So, really, I'd better scurry

Beautiful, please don't hurry

Well, maybe just a half a drink more

Put some records on while I pour

The neighbors might think

Baby, it's bad out there

Say, what's in this drink?

No cabs to be had out there

I wish I knew how

Your eyes are like starlight now

To break the spell

I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell

I ought to say no, no, no, sir

Mind if I move in closer?

At least I'm gonna say that I tried

What's the sense of hurting my pride?

I really can't stay

Baby, don't hold out

Ah, but it's cold outside

I simply must go

But, baby, it's cold outside

The answer is no

But, baby, it's cold outside

This welcome has been

I'm lucky that you dropped in

So nice and warm

Look out the window at that storm

My sister will be suspicious

Gosh, your lips look delicious

My brother will be there at the door

Waves upon tropical shore

My maiden aunt's mind is vicious

Oh, your lips look delicious

Well, maybe just a cigarette more

Never such a pleasure before

I've got to get home

But, baby, you'll freeze out there

Say, lend me your comb

It's up to your knees out there

You've really been grand

I thrill when you touch my hand

But don't you see

How can you do this thing to me?

There's bound to be talk tomorrow

Think of my lifelong sorrow

At least there will be plenty implied

Rate this script:4.1 / 21 votes

David Berenbaum

David Berenbaum is an American screenwriter whose credits include the films Elf, The Haunted Mansion, Zoom, The Spiderwick Chronicles, and Strange Magic. more…

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Submitted by shilobe on March 28, 2017

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    "Elf" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 19 Jan. 2025. <https://www.scripts.com/script/elf_1094>.

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