Elling Page #2

You don't meet people over the phone!

You have enough money.

It's a matter of prioritizing.

That's what I tell Kjell Bjarne.

Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize!

- I've never heard that.

- Yes, you have!

Shut up!

A final warning:
Stick to our deal.

I want to see progress.

I said we should go out.

Where, with minus 4000 kroner?

A Salvation Army soup kitchen?

- Good idea. Let's go to the movies.

- No.

- Come on, Elling.

- No.

Two against one.

That's how it's always been.

But when three grown men argue,

the tone can get pretty rough.

- Best damn movie I've ever seen!

- Good movie, Elling?

I consider myself a modern

liberal man of the town, -

- but I refuse to applaud

the breakdown of society!

- It was a comedy.

- Didn't you get it?

It was not funny. You don't

understand anything.

Nothing's good enough for you.

I can't talk to you when you're in that mood.

- Let's go eat.

- Not out again, Frank.

- You had to come home to crap.

- Public restrooms are not my forte.

I look forward to seeing what your forte is!

No smoking in here.

No more staying cooped up here.

Time to tighten the reins.

He sticks his nose in everything.

Nothing is good enough.

And he mocks my ideals.

Why don't we try to go out,

just the two of us?

I'm scared too, Elling. But we have money.

And we only live once.

I sure hope so. The concept of

reincarnation has troubled me.

Someone like me must have an incredibly

long way left to Nirvana.

Let's go to the caf around the corner.

The other day they had pork and gravy.

If things get bad, we can walk home again.

Or run.

It's that simple.

Come on, Elling!

Come on.

It's right across the street and to the right.

Just stick to the zebra stripes.

Here I walk, along with one of

life's simpler apostles.

Yet I feel safe in some strange way,

having him by my side.

Let's go.

- I hope they have lots of pork.

- And gravy. I can't wait!

Come on.

- Two...

- Here you go.

Sh*t! They don't have pork and gravy!

- Anything to drink?

- Don't you have pork and gravy?

- Today's special is stew.

- You said they had pork and gravy.

- Let me check with the chef.

- Don't give up too easy, Elling.

I had my mind totally set

on pork and gravy!

- We had two helpings left.

- What's your name?

- Johanne.

- Thank you, Johanne.

My pleasure. Let me get you some water.

- How is it?

- Best damn food I've ever tasted.

- Not quite as good as mother's, but...

- That'll make the chef happy.

Here you go.

What a woman!

Bet Frank would love to see us now.

He wouldn't be satisfied -

- until we joined a table full of

people from foreign cultures.

We should almost call Frank

and tell him we are here.

- Do it!

- I said almost.

Kjell Bjarne...

All of it?

- We have to leave, Kjell Bjarne.

- Why?

- I have to go to the bathroom.

- The can is right over there.

Want me to go with you?

How different people are.

Some people ski solo to the South Pole, -

- while I have to summon all my

courage to cross a restaurant floor.

This must be what is meant

by breaking boundaries.

That was all for today.

- Hello. Aasli.

- Frank? Hi, it's me.

You making a call, Elling?

Kjell Bjarne and I have just grabbed

some food at our local haunt.

Pork and gravy every Friday.

Kjell Bjarne is easily persuaded.

- I'll say!

- You can say that again.

- Well done, Elling.

- Wasn't it?

All we need now are some chicks.

Let's go home and make one last phone call.

- Let's do something cultural instead!

- Huh?

Cultural, my ass!

We'll see.

Holy sh*t! I don't believe it!

Imagine if she were real.

The thought has crossed my mind.

Look at this.

Kjell Bjarne, look!

Amazing!

I can't wait any longer, Elling.

It's only five o'clock.

Finish your cake first, at least.

- Here you go, Elling.

- For me?

If you don't like it, I'll go kill myself.

- Is it all right?

- It's fantastic.

I made it in my spare time.

Look, Elling.

Here's you and me.

You're the yellow one.

Let me get your present, Kjell Bjarne.

Merry Christmas.

Holy sh*t!

Try not to curse on Christmas.

How did you know I wanted the blonde?

I have come to know you, Kjell Bjarne.

This is the best damn present

anyone has ever given me.

Likewise.

What was that?

Kjell Bjarne?

Kjell Bjarne?

Elling, come and help me!

There's a lady in the stairs.

- Who is it?

- How would I know?

- Is she sick?

- She will be. Now she's just drunk.

Come back inside, Kjell Bjarne.

Maybe someone else will find her.

Help me, Elling!

Take it easy. One thing at a time.

What's your name?

- Grab her purse.

- Are you crazy? I'm no thief.

Check her purse.

Find out what her name is.

Empty it!

Reidun Nordsletten.

She lives here.

December 24, 1963...

- She has the same birthday as Jesus!

- Sh*t...

- Today.

- She's pregnant, Elling.

She couldn't just be a little fat?

Sure, there's some fat here.

But inside the fat there's

an astronaut floating around.

Hope she hasn't hurt the baby.

Relax. I've done this a

hundred times with my mom.

- The key. Open the door.

- I can't, Kjell Bjarne.

- Open it!

- Of course.

We can't leave her in the

stairs on Christmas Eve.

We'll call up in a couple of

hours and see how she's doing.

You go down. I'll stay till she's better.

You can't! You look like a rapist.

You'll terrify her.

The child's father may

show up at any second.

You are acting foolishly, Kjell Bjarne.

I'm telling Frank.

There you go. Get it out.

I'll just head down to our apartment...

That was when the words struck me.

It was as if they were written

on the inside of my eyelids.

We found her in the stairs

Her hair... a black raven's wing

Beating against the filthy linoleum

We laid her on her bed, and saw

She had an angel's child in her womb

My God, Elling...

You have committed poetry!

My entire life I have walked the earth

Not knowing I am a poet!

No wonder there have been

certain misunderstandings, -

- when my poetry, my own language,

has lain undiscovered within me!

We found her in the stairs...

Hair... This is poetry!

We laid her on her bed, and saw

She had an angel's child in her womb

Hi, Elling. Why haven't you gone to bed?

There you are.

You understood why I

retired so discreetly, right?

So that I could come to your aid,

if anything went wrong.

- Like what?

- What about Reidun's husband?

What if he found you in his

sofa on Christmas Eve?

You're lucky she didn't wake up

before you came downstairs.

She woke up like hell!

Wasn't she terrified to find an orangutan

in her apartment?

Not really.

Doesn't she read the papers?

This town is full of burglars and rapists!

It's time for you to go to bed, Elling.

I sure am.

I have to fix her leaky faucet later.

She finds a total stranger in

her apartment, -

- and immediately asks him

to fix her leaky faucet?

Did she lend you a key, too, so you can

come and go as you please?

Kjell Bjarne, you are in love!

I have to report this to Frank.

You are out of control!

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