Elling Page #5

I'll make your bed.

- Don't do it!

- Alf needs help with the firewood.

Sick!

Elling?

Dinner is served, Elling.

- Where did you learn to make this?

- Home economics.

I didn't learn anything at school.

I went to a special school.

They thought I was an idiot.

He learned to read when he

got his first dirty magazine.

I think the Labor Party is to blame.

For our lousy schooling, and all that.

Hold your horses. Nobody blames the

Labor Party for this.

But they were the ruling party.

A house isn't in poor condition

because of a few rotten boards.

- Huh?

- He's speaking in pictures.

But where did the rotten

boards come from?

The lumberyard!

Who smuggled the rotten boards

onto the construction site?

Social democratic laborers

from the Labor Party?

- Exactly.

- Exactly not!

They were bought and paid for

by the CIA and the KGB!

- They brought the rotten boards.

- So call them and yell at them!

I'm going to get ready for bed.

You weigh 240 pounds, Kjell Bjarne!

It had to happen.

The moment when Kjell Bjarne had

to choose between Reidun and me.

Elling?

What?

- Nothing.

- Then go to bed!

Can I borrow your underwear?

Aren't you wearing clean underwear?

- No.

- When did you last change?

- I'm not sure.

- Hard to keep track of the weeks...

Sh*t, I couldn't know that Reidun...

I couldn't know that.

- I thought I was bunking with you.

- So it didn't matter.

- Want to borrow my socks, too?

- Sure.

Thank me properly.

Thank you.

Holy sh*t!

Yes!

Elling...

Elling!

There you are.

My underwear did wonders, I see.

- It's started.

- Scream "holy sh*t" like that...

It's started! Reidun has started!

Are you telling me that Reidun is

having her baby as we speak?

- Do something!

- Shut up!

What? At a Norwegian hospital?

Several more hours of labor?

Don't you realize she could

give birth any second?!

What does hydrocephalic mean?

Maybe she'll have Siamese twins.

Or a baby with a clubfoot.

What if it's a hydrocephalic clubfoot?

I'm sure the baby will have

ten fingers and toes.

Go get some sleep.

Call me tomorrow and fill me in.

- We can't go to bed now.

- Why not?

Let's go for a drink.

A drink of what?

- Wine.

- We don't drink wine.

Exactly. We don't drink wine,

therefore we'll drink some now!

Weird place.

- This doesn't help.

- Take it easy, Kjell Bjarne.

If you get drunk, we'll get sent

right back to the institution.

Who knows who your

new roommate might be?

These are like egg cups.

Elling, you're a true buddy.

I was cranky because I was scared.

We're friends. You don't have to

keep shaking my hand, Kjell Bjarne.

- Here's to what is about to happen.

- Cheers!

Now calmly walk over

and call the hospital.

- Maybe you should call?

- No, Kjell Bjarne. Do it right now.

Waiter!

Let me tell you something. Have a seat.

His girlfriend is having a

baby as we speak.

Rita, bring out the champagne!

That guy in the coveralls is

about to become a daddy!

Well?

Over ten pounds, Elling.

A huge girl!

Did you hear that, Elling?

Over ten pounds!

She's going to be bigger

than you, Kjell Bjarne!

- What are we drinking?

- Champagne!

Sh*t! This damn stuff tastes great!

I still don't know how we

got home that night.

The alcohol has gotten to us.

Might as well ship us back to the institution.

That place is for loonies. It's normal

of you to celebrate the new kid.

- How're the mother and baby?

- I have no idea.

Take some aspirin and

clean up this vomit.

And later you can read these.

I borrowed them at the library.

Mind the return date.

Holy sh*t!

You guys are doing just fine.

Everything passes on.

To put it another way:

Everything passes on to something else.

- I brought you the paper.

- Thank you.

- Notice "The Sauerkraut Poet"?

- I sure did. Not a bad poem.

"E"?

Yes.

I was overjoyed when I read in the

paper about Kaare Svingen -

- and the pack of sauerkraut he

had bought downtown.

I have made my debut.

Thousands of people are now wondering

who the mysterious "E" is.

I am on everyone's lips.

It is tempting to stand forward, but no.

I want to remain who I am:

Mommy's boy. That anonymous voice

from the quiet streets of the night.

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