Elsa & Fred Page #4

I didn't like that tone.

Yes, I'm younger than you.

I'm seventy-seven.

- Did you laugh a lot?

- What a question!

It's a really great question.

I don't think

I've laughed a lot.

Too bad,

but you still have time.

You still have time!

Just stay with me.

As a neighbor, a friend...

It doesn't matter.

I'm sure you'll get

your laughter back.

That new dog food

didn't suit him well.

- It doesn't suit him at all.

- Yes!

I told you!

You're starting to get back

your lost laughter!

It wasn't because of you!

It was Bonaparte.

Yes, it was Bonaparte.

Poor thing.

He's ugly, but I like him.

You know what you're

going to do now?

You're going to finish

your drink...

...you'll eat two cakes

and I...

...Im going to play Bach.

Bravo!

- How are you, Elsa?

- Hi, Doc.

Have you done

what I told you?

Everything.

Okay, not everything.

I forgot to take

the green pill on Friday.

Why did you forget?

Some love late in life,

perhaps?

Really?

Well, we're just at

the beginning, you know?

Right now it could be called

a strange friendship.

How old?

I don't know. Twenty-seven,

twenty-eight... seventy-eight.

But he's impeccable.

He's in great shape.

I don't know...

He's a bit... opaque.

Opaque?

Yes, like his inner light

had gone out.

All his life he's been

this boring person.

He's never stepped

out of line...

...or had an indiscretion!

He loves being sick.

Oh, no.

I don't think he loves it.

Doc.

Doctor, this is

a serious disease.

Ask anyone who knows me

if I've ever talked about...

...well, my condition.

I've never done it!

But he doesn't talk

about anything else.

He talks about death

all the time.

I'm going to make

this dinosaur live, Doctor.

And how far did this

"strange friendship" get?

Well, not very far, really.

We're at the holding hands

stage.

We hold hands. Oh, God!

There's another thing

that doesn't help much.

He recently became

a widower.

He's full of memories

and guilt issues...

...but it's been hard for him.

Be patient.

We men are cowards.

We go at a slower pace.

I'm also going at another pace,

Doc...

...so he'd better hurry.

- Elsa, you're not in bad shape.

- Don't lie to me, Doctor.

I saw the tests.

- The stocks are falling.

- Yes.

That's not good, is it?

Javi, did your mother

tell you to come play here...

...to make me company?

No, I came because

your TV is bigger.

Isn't she home yet?

What are you talking about,

Javi?

About Elsa.

Have you done it?

- I'm your grandfather!

- I'm your grandson!

How can you ask me

a question like that, Javier?!

I can if I want, Alfredo!

You're all nervous!

Come on, Anita.

Don't fall down on me now.

Look, it's Marcello.

Marcello.

Elsa!

Hello! I've come

to take you out to lunch.

Why go out? We can

order in and eat here!

Is there anything

more terrible...

...for spending the afternoon

with a lady?

Put on a tie

and jacket and let's go.

Okay, but I can go

dressed like this, right?

- No, you can't.

- Why not?

We're eating

at Madrid's finest restaurant.

I don't want to be seen

with someone pitiful.

- Look, this is my best outfit.

- Why this sudden urge?

I don't know.

It's just an urge.

Don't think so much!

That's why you don't live!

Change quickly.

A tie, a jacket. I'll wait here.

As you wish, Madame.

You did some job

on this poor man.

Don't worry,

I'll fix him up for you.

What do you mean "why"?

Because I love him.

What's wrong?

It's pure uric acid.

I don't know

how I'll feel tomorrow.

You'll feel incredibly well...

...with the memory

of this unforgettable night.

This uric acid is excellent.

I love you.

Does love not suit your

old, fragile self, either?

Elsa, what are we?

We're a man and a woman

talking about...

...the benefits and detriments

of this sirloin steak.

- That's what we are.

- No, I don't mean this.

I mean us.

I feel strange.

Good strange or bad strange?

Strange.

I would like to know

because...

...it's really important

to me, Alfredo.

I don't want to suffer...

...but, I don't know,

my heart is feeling things.

- You talk like a teenager.

- I am a teenager!

Yes, you're a girl in the body

of an older woman.

- An immature old woman.

- You're an adorable woman.

So you feel good strange.

Can we become something...

...in the not so distant

future?

I can't believe it.

You're blushing!

You're seventy-eight years old

and you just blushed.

Impossible not to

fall in love with you.

Oh, God,

I was so straightforward.

What's wrong?

It's a mountain of cholesterol!

Stick your finger in

and lick it!

Those are bad manners!

You know what?

You're not scared of dying...

...you're scared of living!

You're like a self-help book!

- Aren't you scared of death?

- No!

No.

Well, I'm going to clarify

this concept.

You are a healthy man...

...with the common

ailments of old age...

...but that's not serious.

The day you're really sick...

...you'll want to enjoy it all.

You talk as if it's happened

to you.

It happened to me

with my husband...

...when the doctor said

he had a few months left.

Poor man. It was horrible.

Maybe it happened to you

with your wife.

She died of a heart attack

and didn't have time to think.

Honestly,

I'm kind of a hypochondriac.

No, you're not kind of,

you're not a hypochondriac.

I'll tell you what you are.

I'll say it as we say

in Argentina...

...you're a wimp!

You're a wimp.

Nobody's going to die from

eating Madrid's best dessert!

Finger!

Finger.

That's my boy!

- To life!

- To life!

May it be wonderful.

- I wish I'd met you before.

- Stop complaining.

We met and

I'm happy with that.

- No, allow me.

- No, I was going to pay!

I told you!

It's an armed robbery!

Give me that!

I told you it was my treat.

It's an armed robbery.

- Do you have money?

- Are you scared?

No, I'm not scared,

but we can't pay a fortune...

...for a piece of meat

and a slice of cake.

I'm not paying for a piece

of meat and slice of cake...

...Im paying for the most

wonderful night we've had.

That's priceless.

When something is priceless,

you don't pay it.

I don't understand.

I'm going to count to three.

On three,

we get up and go.

You're crazy!

You want to leave

without paying?

Nobody will suspect

the innocent old people.

- One, two...

- Wait! Wait!

- We could go to jail!

- Of course not. Three.

Slowly. Slowly.

- Start the car already!

- It's starting!

- It started!

- Go! Go!

So? Are they following us?

It's okay, it's okay, Fred.

You were already thinking

the police would arrest us...

...and that your sweet daughter

would bail us out.

What's wrong?!

What's wrong?!

Doesn't it have gas?

No.

You are...

The police! The police!

It's okay. They're gone.

They weren't after us.

- It's okay.

- It's okay? It's okay?

You're crazy!

I may be a hypochondriac,

a wimp and a scaredy-cat...

...but you're crazy!

Crazy! Insane!

I'm not used to being

with women like you!

You spent many years

with one woman...

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