Elvis & Nixon Page #5

And I want him out in five minutes tops.

And you'd better get me a bio on this Elvis

so I can prep for this goddamn meeting.

Jerry Schilling speaking.

Thank you.

Well, guess it's back to Memphis.

I don't think that's a good idea.

How come?

Well, because...

You, Mr. Presley,

have a meeting with the President

of the United States of America.

Hot damn!

There he is!

Well, what do you think?

Damn, boss,

you look hotter-than-a-whorehouse great.

Let's do this thing.

Jerry, I just want to thank you, man,

for putting this together.

I don't know how you did it,

but I couldn't have done it

without you, man.

You too, Sonny.

Yeah. I never thought

I'd get to meet a president.

Thank you. And thank you, boss.

It means a lot to me

to know that, you know,

I have friends.

Mr. Barrow?

Burrows.

Nice to meet you.

I'm Mr. Krogh's assistant.

Nice to meet you, ma'am.

Nice to meet you.

- Welcome to the White House.

- Thank you, ma'am.

Beautiful, isn't it, Mr. Presley?

Yeah.

Looks a little like my place.

Mr. Presley, I'm Agent Duncan.

This is Agent Moroder.

Agent Duncan. Agent Moroder.

It's an honor.

Identification.

Let's show him our IDs, boys.

Will that do?

Is this the only identification you have?

No, sir. That there is my Special Deputy's

badge from my hometown of Memphis.

I brought a couple of others

from various different locales

if you need to see them.

That's not necessary.

And what about you, gentlemen?

And that's your only ID?

Okay, sir, do you have any

illegal firearms or weapons

- on or about your person?

- No, sir.

- If I may?

- Of course.

Sir, I'm going to ask you again.

Do you have any firearms or weapons

of any kind on your person?

Yes, sir. I do.

Do your associates?

That would be the affirmative.

Why, when I asked you previously,

did you reply in the negative?

Well, I believe you said "illegal" firearms,

and these firearms are not illegal.

We are licensed to carry them

as Special Sheriff's Deputies

of Shelby County

under Tennessean Code 39-49.

Okay, gentlemen.

All your weapons on the table.

There we go.

What's in the box?

This is a personal gift for the President.

Open it, please.

Sir, I had it very specially wrapped.

Open the package.

Go ahead, Jerry.

This is Bud Krogh.

Mr. Presley.

Bud Krogh.

Pleasure to meet you, sir.

Mr. Presley would like to bring firearms

into the Oval Office.

As a gift.

In the display case here.

Wow, it's beautiful.

It's commemorative.

Obviously you can appreciate

the uniqueness of this scenario.

All right, gentlemen, let me be clear

so there is no misunderstanding.

We don't allow weapons of any kind

in the White House.

Including this gift,

which I will accept

on the President's behalf.

After inspecting it,

it possibly will find its way

to the President.

Thank you, sir.

I am a fan of all you do for our country.

I am sorry about that.

The Secret Service can be

a bit overzealous sometimes.

That's all right, Bud. Hey...

It's a good thing they didn't catch

this little fella in my boot.

Just kidding.

Right this way.

I hope you gentlemen don't mind,

I need you to wait in my office

for a brief moment.

Not at all, Bud.

Please, step right in,

make yourselves comfortable.

I'll be right back.

Elvis Presley is in the building!

I can't believe

I'm actually going to see the Oval Office.

Glad you left L.A. now, aren't you?

Gentlemen, Mr. Presley,

I'd like to introduce you to Dwight Chapin.

He's the special assistant

to the President.

It's a huge honor, Elvis.

I mean, Mr. Presley.

Now, before I take you to the President

we're going to have

to go over the protocol.

So, Mr. Presley,

if you'll please follow me...

- Protocol?

- Yes, sir.

No.

I'm sorry, only Mr. Presley

will be allowed in the Oval Office.

- Is that right?

- Yes, sir.

My apologies.

Damn.

Well, why don't you give Dwight,

or Mr. Chapin,

the rundown too.

Rundown for what?

After I announce you,

you may enter the Oval Office.

The President will be seated at his desk.

But please wait by the door

until he addresses you.

Of course.

Mr. Presley will enter.

If he leaves his sunglasses on

then Nixon should wait

until Mr. Presley speaks.

His sunglasses?

The President will then shake your hand.

And then invite you to sit down,

he will instruct you where to do so.

Roger that.

But if Elvis removes his sunglasses,

that means

somebody's about to get a bear hug.

I don't know if that's such a good idea.

On the coffee table

is an unopened bottle of Dr. Pepper.

Please do not open it.

Please do not drink from it.

Because it's only for the President.

Now as for food,

we usually make sure that Elvis

has a selection of drinks at his disposal.

You know, nothing major,

just some hot tea with lemon, sodas, water.

Some snacks. Nice ones.

There is also, on the coffee table,

a divided dish

with mixed nuts on one side,

M&Ms on the other.

I do like M&Ms.

Well, I'm sorry, but those are also

only for the President.

Should we tell him about the karate?

Karate?

All right, you ready to meet

the President of the United States?

You betcha.

Now, if you'll wait right here please, sir,

I'll be right back.

It's an honor, Mr. President.

Mr. President, I can't tell you

what a great honor...

Hello, Mr. President, the honor...

Did you know

I had a twin brother, Mr. President?

Identical.

Jesse Garon Presley.

He was born 35 minutes before me.

Stillborn.

And they...

They put him in a box on the kitchen table

while Momma kept on going

trying to push me out.

Sometimes I wonder about that, you know.

What that 35 minutes

must have been like for her.

The happiest moment

and the saddest moment

life could possibly throw at you.

Sometimes I think God felt guilty for her,

so he gave me the luck

that was meant for two people.

Makes you think, you know.

And I want Mr. Kissinger

and the Speaker in this meeting.

Mr. President.

Are you ready for Mr. Presley?

Yeah.

And Krogh, no more than five minutes.

I want you to come

in exactly at five minutes

and say I have to be somewhere.

- Where shall I say you...

- Well, I don't care.

Just make up some bullshit.

Yes, sir.

Krogh...

What do we have on this guy?

You know, deep background.

Well, besides yourself,

he's one of the most famous men

on the planet.

He's married. He travels a lot.

Loves guns. Hates The Beatles.

Black belt in karate.

- Big football fan...

- Karate. You don't say?

Yes, sir. Shall I bring him in?

Hey, Krogh.

Let me ask you something.

Do you think I could take him?

- Take him, sir?

- In karate.

You think I could take him down?

I bet you in my day I could've.

You know, I used to be able to

bench-press 220.

Of course, he's young and...

Good-looking too.

You know, Krogh, guys like that,

who are just born good-looking,

well, you obviously know,

they never had to work for it,

if you know what I mean.

Not me.

No, I had to make something of myself

to get a girl to notice me.

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