Endless Bummer

As you go forth on your journey

and lead us into the next century,

I know that you're

going out into this world...

and will give 110%.

You are the best...

and you are the brightest.

We could be looking at future

leaders of this country.

Writers, senators,

and scientists...

humanitarians and

heads of industry.

A lot of years have passed

since that graduation.

And coming out of

continuation school,

I had no clue what we were

gonna do with our lives.

But I knew for sure that none of us

were gonna become senators or scientists.

Just ain't gonna happen.

Sparky was a wild one, man.

Beauty of Sparky was you never

knew where he was comin' from.

Who took a dump in my mouth?

Sparky would rip off a line of "f*** yous"

better than anybody I ever heard.

I'm gonna castrate you and f*** your mother

in the f***ing ass with your own f***ing dick!

Yeah. I'm glad I left your sorry ass...

F*** you! F*** you!

Sh*t. Lardo? He was everything you

could have asked for in a friend.

He was funny, he was charming,

had a way with words.

Dude, sh*t happens.

Did pretty good

with the chicks...

and always seemed to make light

of a serious situation.

My fellow Americans,

I'm pleased to tell you today...

that I've signed legislation

that will outlaw Russia forever.

- Whoa.

- We begin bombing in five minutes.

Together, we were one.

I mean, we had it all.

At least I thought we did.

And every summer,

we'd get a visit from Iris.

Iris!

- Anne wants to know when

are you coming to the Hut.

There's coffee in the kitchen.

And then there was Anne.

Johnny boy, why is the door

closed with a girl inside?

Give me five minutes, Mom.

I'm having sex!

Johnny, stop that now!

Bad boy!

What will the neighbors think...

girl in your room and the door closed?

They'll think I'm gettin' laid!

Like we always said, a little

bit of booty never hurt nobody.

Growing up as a kid

on the beach was a blast.

I mean,

everybody knew everybody.

The surf was always good,

and every night was a party.

J. D! What's up, man?

Hey, Skinner! What's happening, dude?

Somebody's parents were

always gone for the weekend,

and if that didn't happen, we'd

take it to the Shelburn house.

# Ow #

# Well, I want a war between

the rich and the poor #

# I want a fight and know

what I'm fighting for #

But what went down

over the next 24 hours...

is something

I will never forget.

# Amoeba #

# Amoeba #

# Amoeba #

# Amoeba #

# We are scientists in our lab

looking through the microscope #

# Those little glass slides

They never lieHow can this small mind cope #

# I've never seen anything

like this before #

# This amoeba's got a mind

of its own #

# But don't turn your back

you stupid science world #

# This is reaching

for the telephone #

# Amoeba #

# Amoeba #

# Amoeba #

# Amoeba #

# A one-celled creature

A one-celled thing #

# It hardly knows

its alive #

# You're better off dead

if you only knew #

# That your life's

taking a dive #

# I've never seen anything

like it before #

# This amoeba's got

a mind of its own #

# But don't turn your back

you stupid science world #

# This is reaching

for the telephone #

# Amoeba #

# Amoeba #

# Amoeba #

# Amoeba #

# Amoeba #

# Amoeba #

# Amoeba #

# Amoeba #

# Amoeba #

# Amoeba, amoeba amoeba, amoeba #

# Amoeba #

# Amoeba, amoeba amoeba, amoeba #

# Amoeba #

# Amoeba, amoeba amoeba, amoeba #

# Amoeba #

# Amoeba, amoeba amoeba, amoeba ##

So check this out. Every kid has

someone they look up to, right?

Whether it's a baseball player,

a rock star,

or drives a race car-

a hero.

Well, it just so happened that my hero,

he lived right down the street.

And this guy had the ability

to make you feel...

like you were walkin' on water.

What's up?

Hey.

One more payment

and it's mine.

Hi!

Hello!

Good morning.

Hi, hello!

Sorry it's so early,

but, um, this may be

a little bit embarrassing,

but...

we're lost.

Would you happen to know where

- I do.

- Oh, great.

Oh, good. That's wonderful.

Excuse me.

Oh, thanks.

Yeah, okay.

Yuppies.

You know what?

Day after graduation, summer's callin'.

I'm gonna give you your board.

Just pay me when you got the cash.

Here's your board.

This is, um... You know,

it's your board.

I mean, I made it for you.

So you take care of the board,

and she'll take care of you.

Now go on.

Make me proud.

Hey, Mooney. Wanna come?

I gotta work.

# In the chamber of hellos

Hello, hello, hello, hello #

# In the chamber of hellos

Hello, hello, hello, hello #

# In the chamber of hellos

Hello, hello, hello, hello #

# In the chamber of hellos #

# In the chamber of hellos

Hello, hello, hello, hello #

# In the chamber of #

# In the chamber of #

# In the chamber of #

# In the chamber of ##

Huh?

Two, "Q," "A," "N."

Two, "Q," "A," "N."

Five, seven, four.

Hey, J.D. How's it goin'?

- Hey, Del.

Surfin', huh?

- Yeah, I was.

"Q," "A," "N."

Hey, I found this seaweed

with these shells.

It's sparklin', see?

- Oh, yeah?

And this.

Sea glass.

"Q," "A," "N."

I'm not really in the mood

for a nature study right now.

"Q," "A," "N."

Five, seven, four.

Five, seven...

Oh, sh*t.

F***!

Nice.

Wake up, Ventura!

Whoo! Ha-ha!

Watch your f***ing

driving, a**hole!

You stupid blind f***er!

What the f***, man?

What's up, man?

What are you gonna do, huh?

Come on.

Get the f*** back in your car and drive back

to your stupid valley and stay outta my city!

F***ing Ventura surfers!

Yeah, you say that, and then you

drive off, you p*ssy! F***in' souther!

What's up, J. D?

Que pasa, J. D?

I lost my board, man.

Maybe someone took it.

Took it?

No one takes surfboards

around here, amigo.

In a move that could seriously

hurt his reelection prospects-

Hey, Harry.

- Hey, J.D.

Where's your board?

- Gone.

I don't know. Maybe someone stole it.

- Stole your board?

Uh-huh.

Motherf***er.

Beer?

I don't spend every day workin' my ass off

at the D.M.V. so you can buy beer, old man.

- I didn't buy it. J.D. gave me one.

- What?

- J.D., did you give him beer?

- No.

Where's your board?

Rise and shine, ladies!

- Come on. Get up.

- Why are you doing this to me?

Come on. Get up. You know, in some

countries, this is considered torture.

Listen up.

J.D. lost his board.

So?

- Well, so, you guys should go help him find it.

- He lost the Mooney?

- Yeah, the Mooney.

That sh*t didn't happen.

It happened.

Seriously, you guys

should go help him find it.

He should help me

find the bong.

- Oh, God.

- Where is it?

Dude, why?

- I don't know.

I mean, how does

something like this happen?

Dude, I have no idea.

Mooney's gonna kill me.

It's just kind of incredible that

your board would just be gone.

I know.

Hey, what's goin' on, guys?

Sparks.

Punk.

- Hey, bro.

Where's your board, man?

- Dude, my board got pilfered.

Dude, don't flip out,

all right?

I can't f***ing believe this sh*t.

I'm gonna f***ing kill all of 'em!

I mean, they just come and they just

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