Enduring Love Page #4

Everything happens for a reason.

That thing with the curtains

you keep doing.

It's ingenious. F***ing mad, but ingenious.

- What?

- The way you hold them so...

delicately, so...

...gentle.

Gentle yet firm.

You know, a firm grip. No messing around.

Khh, khh.

Simple, but effective.

And just generally, you know...

...very, very... loving.

- Do you want a crisp?

- This is f***ing stupid.

Hold on, Joe. Just hold on to it.

We can't let go again, not this time.

Just hold on. Hold on.

Look, if this is about... Claire...

we can work it out.

Where there's a will there's a way.

Here.

Why did you throw it away?

I didn't.

Then who did, Joe?

- Where did you get this?

- I found it in the bin outside your house.

Joey.

Jo-Jo.

Come on.

Everything's going to be all right.

Forget about Claire.

I'm here now.

...when you were with that other loser.

Oh, he was lovely.

He was not lovely.

He was not what you call lovely.

Not in any way.

You were just in a trance.

I've seen Natasha stop traffic.

Actually stop traffic,

just by walking across the road.

She doesn't even know she's doing it.

Bikes ride into the back of buses

and buses miss their stops.

Dog walkers plough unsuspecting dogs

under cars.

They can't help themselves.

Can't stop staring at her.

Why? What's wrong with her?

I'm saying you have um... er...

magnetism.

Stop it.

Like... You understand? Like a magnet.

Do you know what a magnet is?

A refrigerator magnet?

It's physics, dear, don't take any notice.

No, it's not.

It's biology.

When we're in love,

or when we think we're in love,

we do the things we do

to ensure good breeding.

To ensure a f***.

We're just stupid organisms.

It's meaningless.

Don't even know why we f***ing bother.

I think what Joe's trying to say is um...

that to have an understanding

of the science of love

doesn't make it any less remarkable.

Yes, but most people don't need to

understand the science of it, do they?

I have no idea, whatsoever,

what anybody's talking about.

Why don't you go upstairs,

fetch your book

and we'll have a f***ing recital, shall we?

Love is like being under a spell,

an extraordinary magic spell,

and then um...

...one day the spell is broken

and the love...

...love just... flies away like a bird.

A bird?

What bird is this?

It was meant to be so special.

I had it all planned.

I brought champagne.

I brought a ring.

I was going to propose to you.

Well, that's let the cat out of the bag.

Have you changed your mind?

Well...

...if you ever want to see two people

turn into...

two-headed, fire-breathing

monsters overnight,

- just put rings on their fingers.

Frank, ssh.

No, no, it's right.

It's right.

Cos you are an expert aren't you, bro?

When you're not busy...

sexing up the au pair

to within an inch of her life,

you're a f***ing authority,

aren't you, pal?

When you're not marching on Poland

you're... you're a f***ing sage.

Tell me something, tell me, cos this has

always really, really bothered me.

Do you never tire

of letting your dick do the thinking?

Do you realise how mad you sound?

To people like me.

To normal people.

You sound mad.

Yeah, OK.

When we fall out of love...

What explains that? What?

Just a misunderstanding?

A communication breakdown?

And when we do fall in love with somebody,

somebody who

we're completely incompatible with,

then it's all just tedious and horrible

and terrible and just not going to work.

I mean, why do we do that?

Why do we do that?

I mean, is this just an aberration?

Are these people just... just deviants?

Who's that?

Oh, God, what's his name?

Has anybody got a question?

Anybody? A view or an opinion, maybe?

...what I'd be without you

If you should ever leave me

Then life would go on, believe me

The world would show nothing to me

So what good would living do me?

God only knows what I'd be...

Hey, come on.

Look, I was just having a bit of fun.

- Come on.

- F*** off.

- I was just trying to cheer you up, Joe.

- F*** off.

Come on. Jo-Jo. Joe.

Listen to me. Listen to me.

If you ever, ever,

ever f***ing bother me again,

if you ever come anywhere f***ing near me,

I will follow you, I will find you

and I will gut you like a f***ing fish!

Do you understand me?

You started this. You made this happen.

Why don't you admit it?

You pretend it's not happening.

Nothing's happening. You f***!

Giving me all your secret f***ing signals,

so I come towards you.

Why don't you leave me alone, eh?

What do you want? What do you want?

I love you! I love you!

And you're trying to f***ing destroy me!

God only knows

where I'd be without you!

Claire, wake up.

Claire, wake up. I've got it.

I know what he's doing.

He keeps on going on about curtains.

There was this stalker who actually

existed. She used to wait outside.

It's a well-documented case.

Now she thought, right,

that the king was madly in love with her.

He was signalling with...

Look, look, look, look.

Right, OK.

"Wait for me. " "Don't tell anybody. "

"I love you. "

Now, the king, he didn't see her,

because, well,

he's a f***ing king, isn't he?

So she thought that it was a conspiracy.

A conspiracy.

...whatever you do when you sort of act

like... Or however much he denied it...

She took it as proof.

Proof that he loved her.

Proof that their destinies

were completely intertwined,

and that one day

they were going to be together.

I've cracked it.

I've f***ing cracked it!

I've f***ing cracked it!

I can't believe it. I've f***ing cracked it!

Oh, my God.

F***, he's there.

Claire.

Come and look.

He's just sitting there.

Claire, come and look at this.

F***ing hell.

Come here.

Come and look.

He's there. Come and look.

Well?

Come to bed.

What's this?

It's my work.

It's over.

Claire?

Claire!

All right, then,

let's get married, then, shall we?

Let's get married. Let's get married

and have lots of children.

Let's have dozens of the f***ers

and a big dog! Move to the country.

See what f***ing good it does!

See how long we last!

What do we need, a wedding ring?

Here! Here!

- Is this what you want?

- What?

- Is this what you want?

- Joe!

- Here, look. Here.

- Ow!

- Look, there. There. There. There!

- You're hurting me!

- How does that feel?

- You're hurting me.

- Is that better?

- You're hurting me.

Where are you? Where are you?

Where are you? Come here!

I'm ready!

You f***!

You f***!

Come here now!

I need to find the men

who were at the balloon.

Do you have contact addresses?

Yes, I've got the addresses.

All the witnesses.

- The police gave them to me.

- Yeah, that's perfect.

No, that's it. That's all I need.

F***er!

F***er! F***er!

F***er!

Hello, Joe.

Please, please, don't do this.

Don't do this, please.

- F*** you!

- Please.

I love you.

And that's all that matters now, Joe.

That's all that matters.

That's all that matters, Joe.

Listen, Joe, I just... I love you.

The thing is...

I'm just... trying to help you, Joe.

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