Enduring Love Page #3

just give in to it.

You can't live your life in denial.

- I am not in denial.

- Yes, you are.

- I'm not.

- You are.

Look, I'm not in denial.

Now, I don't even know you,

you mad bastard.

- Yes, you do.

- No, I don't.

- You do.

- I don't!

I think you do.

Better than you think.

Joe, Joe, cool it. Cool it.

- Cool it, man.

- Good idea.

Sorry.

I'm sorry. I just...

It really pisses me off.

- What's he done?

- Doesn't matter.

Well, it obviously does.

Did.

How's Claire?

Nice piece in The Guardian.

She must be thrilled about the award.

You both must be thrilled about it.

It's great. Very good.

I mean, why is he following you, anyway?

- I mean, what have you done?

- I haven't done anything.

You must have done something

or he wouldn't be following you.

You know, he... he...

well, you know, he just turned up.

- Careful, OK.

- Yeah.

He turned up and... and...

...and I recognised him and...

I smiled at him.

- Why?

- Well, why not?

You don't even know him,

why smile at him?

I felt sorry for him, that's all.

Well, don't encourage him, OK?

- That's ready to be dipped.

- Righto, then.

- Thank you.

- I'm just being friendly to him.

We've both been through this like,

really like awful, awful experience.

- It's been really, you know, I mean...

- Joey. Joey, I'm at work, OK?

I can't deal with this now.

Can we talk about this later?

- I'm trying to explain to you...

- What?

...that it's just really difficult.

- It's because nobody understands.

- I do.

Do you? Do you really understand me?

- Do you want me to talk to him?

- Of course not.

I want to find out what his problem is.

There isn't a problem.

There's no f***ing problem. It's fine.

Maybe he's suffering

from post-traumatic stress.

- He probably is, yeah.

- Maybe you both are.

No? I think you need to see somebody

and talk about all this.

- I'm talking to you.

- I mean somebody professional.

Professional.

- Why won't you let me talk to him?

- Because I don't want you to.

All right, that'll do you.

He was always traipsing off somewhere.

Having adventures.

Orphanages in Yugoslavia.

And... inoculation safaris in Uganda.

Very gung ho.

When you think about it,

he was bound to die rescuing somebody.

It was instinctive.

Or reckless.

You know, I think he was unlucky.

Unlucky?

Yes, I do. I... I think that um...

...if we'd all... been able

to keep hanging on, um I...

Somebody let go.

And then we all had to let go.

If they hadn't,

I think we might have saved him.

I need to find out who let go first.

I wish you hadn't told me that.

I'm sorry.

Er... there was someone

with my husband on the day he died.

Did you notice?

There was someone with him in the car

when he stopped

and there was someone who got out with

him and then that someone vanished.

The car was on the far side of the field.

I only really noticed your husband when

we were running towards the balloon.

- Did you see the car?

- Well, yes, but I was...

Can you remember

was there one car door open or two?

Wh...

It's just... was there one or two?

I... I think...

No.

I can't remember. I'm sorry.

Tell me what it is.

Go on. It won't bite.

It was on the floor

by the passenger seat.

- Yeah.

- They were going to have a picnic.

Smell it.

It's rose-water.

I've never used rose-water in my life.

If you saw something...

please don't feel you have to protect me.

- If you saw her, I need to know.

- I did not see your husband with anyone.

I need to know how long it was going on

and how much it meant to him.

- But how do you know it was going on?

- You didn't know my husband.

Well, has he... ever, you know...?

No, no, no, no. I didn't mean that.

I mean, if you knew him,

you'd know he doesn't take risks.

He was afraid of heights.

He wouldn't have taken a risk unless...

Well, unless he was showing off.

He was quite a show-off.

When we were young.

You know, when I was young.

When I was worth showing off to...

He was showing off to a girl.

Well, maybe um...

...she might try and get in touch,

because it might be...

If she comes near this house...

I'm going to kill her.

God help me, but I will. I'll kill her.

Have I let you down?

Sorry, what do you mean?

Do you think I've let you down?

What do you mean?

- Goodbye.

- Goodbye.

- All your favourites.

- Yeah.

- Thank you.

- There you go.

- You look lovely.

- So do you.

Thank you.

It's hot. Be careful.

Nearly forgot.

Happy birthday!

Thank you very much.

That's beautiful. Thank you.

Thank you, Claire.

Cheers.

Cheers. To you. Thank you.

- I love you.

- I love you too.

Mm! That's good.

So we've got chilli sauce

and soy sauce.

- Great.

- OK.

- Hot.

- Hot, yeah?

Yeah. They are hot.

F***'s sake!

I've had enough.

Stay there! I need to talk to you.

I need to talk. Stay there!

Just... I...

Ooh, I'll just get over here.

Got melons.

Excuse me. Sorry.

So that's Coke...

Oh, and a Milky Way.

That's 10.50, please.

So...

Don't you think we should... talk?

I'm here, aren't I?

What's there to talk about?

Perhaps we should talk about

what happened in Oxford.

Terrible business.

The man who died.

Did you see him arrive?

You mean arrive at the end of the rope

or arrive in the field?

If you mean arrive in the field, do

you mean the first or the second time,

- if you know what I mean?

- You tell me.

I remember we prayed.

We knelt and prayed together,

remember?

Yeah. Well, it was...

I was humouring you.

You touched me on the shoulder

and you looked at me,

and the way you looked at me, I could tell

you knew what had passed between us.

What passed between us?

Love.

God's love.

For f***'s sake!

You're mad.

That's what they said about Jesus once.

They also said it

about a lot of mad people.

You see, I think it was a sign.

- What was?

- The balloon. The man. Everything.

What was it a sign of?

What did it mean?

Well, as if God's hand had...

...reached down and grabbed that balloon

and plucked it from the earth

to bring that man to God

and to bring us together.

You see, God understands. He

really does. He really does understand.

- What... What were you doing there?

- It was just meant to be, I suppose.

- Destiny I suppose you'd call it.

- In that field, outside Oxford.

What were you doing?

- Were you following him?

- Huh?

- John Logan. Were you following him?

- No.

I've never followed anyone in my life.

You know, I think you have.

I was looking for my dog.

I lost my dog.

He's very fond of the countryside.

He likes the trees.

- Well, I've never seen you with any dog.

- That's cos I lost him.

You know what I think?

I think you're a bit lost.

I think everyone's a bit lost, aren't they?

I think you think that

there's this sort of...

...special bond between us

because of what we went through.

You think it somehow... means something.

Well, everything means something

to someone.

Otherwise there wouldn't be much point,

would there?

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