Engelen des doods

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Some people are so beautiful

it makes them sick.

The delicate child

that takes the whole world in,

and who cannot

close itself off from anything.

I have a friend like that.

I once promised that no matter

what happened to her,

one day I would pass her story on.

You must promise me that, she said.

Promise me that she who comes

after me, learns who I am.

Or who I was.

I promised her that.

I promised to tell her story

like she would have told it herself.

Had she could?

I'll have that and 20 cigarettes.

We'll be there soon.

- They won't let us in.

- Don't worry. They will.

Are you sober?

What kind of question is that?

You're laughing?

You're in a really bad mood.

"You and me", mother!

How do I look?

- Need a hand?

- Don't be rude.

- Hi.

- Welcome.

I'm sorry we're a bit late.

There was a queue at the gas station.

Look, Lea!

Look how big she is now.

Give her some time,

then you can hold her.

Look!

- It's Lea.

- Not Lea. Mummy.

We don't smoke inside the house.

Because of the child.

Cake?

I can change her diaper

and let you talk for a while.

Change diaper!

She looks so sad. In her eyes.

She's mostly quite happy.

Yeah...

Do you want to come along

and watch him change her diaper?

This isn't so easy for Lea.

I can come and watch.

Twinkle, twinkle little star...

She's been so terribly

nervous for this.

She hardly slept last night.

I think it's time for Lea to leave.

Mummy loves you, sweetie.

- You shouldn't have brought her here.

- We've waited for three months!

Do you know how long three months is

when you are 1 year old?

Do you know what a big part

of your life that is?

Did you know I wasn't

allowed at her birthday?

Yes, you do know!

You were there.

I asked Lea what

the first thing she can remember is.

I remember mum's laugh,

she answered.

And her smell.

I think I saw mum the way dad did.

You're so beautiful.

Come. You mustn't get sick.

There was something about her

I couldn't quite grasp.

As if, it was her

that needed taking care of.

Once upon a time there was

a princess.

And then it started raining.

And everyone got wet.

Then horses came flying in the air.

Are you sleeping, daddy?

God exists in all things, dad said.

God is a thief, I thought.

The thief that steals the very best.

Do you want to give daddy a hug?

We'll be back soon.

It was quiet for a long time.

One day Ole came.

He had been mum's old boyfriend.

They had been engaged once.

God had sent someone

to help me look after her.

- Pretty flaps.

- Flaps? They're called lashes.

Come, come!

She misses her dad.

And you miss him too.

You promised to get rid of his things

when I moved in.

They're just gifts I've received.

What difference does it make?

Everything here reminds you of him.

You're even wearing his jacket.

There will always be things

that remind us of him.

We had a child together.

Right.

Take off his jacket.

Take his jacket off!

Madelene, I didn't mean it.

It hurts when you

go around with his jacket.

Go to bed, Ole.

Let's talk tomorrow.

Ole, are you all right?

What have you drawn, Lea?

Can I see it?

Is that your cat?

You didn't quite finish it.

Once upon a time there was

a princess who had a horse.

And then it started raining.

Once upon a time, there was princess.

Then it started raining.

Everything will be fine, sweetie.

Madelene?

It's going to be all right.

I called her Violet.

The violets are the softest.

I got her from my dad, and

I promised him to take care of her.

Um, always said Violet

was run over by the train.

Ask me again

about the first thing, I remember.

What always comes back

on top of everything else?

The smell of blood and hard liquor.

When Ole was drinking,

I lost what I had.

Dear angel.

Violet is coming to you now.

You must take care of her.

She doesn't like to sleep alone.

Dear God.

I wish I could fly.

I don't know why you sent us Ole.

- Do you love me?

- You've been drinking.

Get off, I want to get up.

Do you love me?

For f***'s sake!

Do you love me?!

No! Please don't!

No!

I grow up without anyone seeing it.

Without anyone asking me how I am.

I'm thinking that if I have a child,

I'm going to see that child.

Other people my age

go home with each other.

They have sleepovers.

They fall in love.

The boys want something from me.

I can feel that.

But I have nothing to say.

I'm filled with her.

I want mum to come back.

Come.

You have to be nice to mum.

I am nice to her.

Yes?

"...eating cakes or sandwiches.

Rarely more than one at each table."

"It seemed quite lonely, and since I

hadn't spoken to anyone in a while,

I wouldn't mind exchanging

a few words with someone."

"I thought about how to go about it."

"The more I studied the faces,

the more difficult it seemed."

"It was like their eyes were blank.

How depressing the world has become!"

"But I wouldn't try to be nice

unless someone tried to talk to me."

Yes. Thank you, Lars.

- Lea?

- May I go to the toilet?

You just got here.

I feel bad.

Perhaps you should have stayed home.

Tonje, please continue.

"So I kept thinking. That helps."

"Soon I knew what to do.

I dropped the wallet to the floor."

"I pretended it was by accident.

It landed beside the chair."

Give me some tissue paper.

Go to recess.

A little more paper.

Off you go.

Are you sure

there's nothing I can do for you?

I'm fine.

My doctor says I'll grow out of it.

Get well soon.

Bye.

Mummy?

Forgive me, Madelene.

Mummy!

Perhaps everything would have

been different if I were his child.

That it would have been different

if I wasn't between them.

Perhaps sometimes the love

between a man and a woman

has no room for children.

Hello?

Can you hear me?

- Mummy!

- Your mother is in the hospital.

What happened at home

is between Ole and me?

These people may want

to separate you and me.

Take you away from me.

Make you live with somebody else.

I cannot lose you.

Hi. I've brought Gro

from the crisis centre.

The doctor has informed me

about what's happened.

How are you holding up?

A couple of days

and I'm back on my feet.

We'll just have to

make the best of it.

I understand

this is not the first time.

He has never laid hands on me before.

This is so serious

that we recommend you press charges.

No one should have to live

under such conditions.

But he was drunk.

He would never do this otherwise.

I'm here to help you.

We don't think it's justifiable

for you to go home today

without getting help from

the crisis centre and the police.

I don't want the police

to get involved.

Lots of women and children

move to secret addresses.

Mainly to stay safe.

And to get some distance

and think about things.

I don't think that's necessary.

How are you doing amid all this, Lea?

We'll be fine. Right?

It was you who found mummy, right?

What's a secret address?

It's not for us, Lea.

Then we have to move to a new place

and go to a new school and all.

Without Ole?

Only you and mummy.

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