Engelen des doods Page #2

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They're only trying to help us.

I think I have to lie down for a bit.

That day mummy promised me that

everything was going to be all right.

As soon as she said it,

I feel asleep.

And I slept.

When I woke up, Henrik was there.

You need someone to take care of you.

Someone had sent me Henrik.

I know you want to kiss me.

I just know it.

Along with Henrik came you. Sonja.

You were surrounded

by a special glow.

Don't let go.

Never let go, okay?

He asked me

if there was anything else, I needed.

As if, he knew

I was missing something.

I can fly.

I'm learning to fly.

The knot inside my chest untangles.

Reality is no longer real.

Close the door.

He's after me.

Madelene!

I just want to talk to you.

Don't worry.

He'll soon be gone.

Madelene!

Madelene.

- Can I sleep here tonight?

- I'll get your duvet.

- I think we should move.

- Move?

- Far away from them.

- I'm the only one she has.

This is for the window.

I can put in a new one.

I'm sorry.

She's awake.

I wasn't afraid of Ole anymore.

I saw who he was.

That he was the scared one.

She should have chosen another.

As a child I often thought

that he was the child of the family.

I think she believed it would pass,

that he would change.

Finally she wasn't

afraid of him anymore.

Mummy, who never gives up on anyone.

Except herself.

- I can take you home if you like.

- There's no need.

Hey, sweetie!

Give her rice porridge.

That's her favorite.

When will you be back?

- Fueled and ready.

- Thanks.

We'll be home around 2 or 3.

- Bye.

- Have fun!

- What can you do?

- Oral only, with condom.

- How much?

- 500.

Sonja...

Sonja!

I can't take care of her anymore.

Don't say things like that.

- You are her mother.

- I'm addicted to heroin.

I think she'll be better off

with someone else.

Sonja is afraid.

She's anxious all the time.

She knows I'm not there for her.

I can help you with her.

You just have to give up drugs.

I can't do it, mum.

So you're giving up your child

in order to do drugs?

I don't want her

to grow up being afraid.

If there was one thing

I could change...

It would be the day we went

to the red light district.

I don't know where it started.

Where the boundaries were erased.

Or if they were ever there.

- I'll just suck someone and we'll...

- Listen to yourself!

I only know that

it was my suggestion.

And that once I had said it,

that I can do that,

Henrik was lost from me.

Are you here?

You're crying.

I always cry when I'm on drugs.

Go away!

Get the hell away from me!

I'm not fit to be a mother.

I'm addicted to heroin.

I want someone else

to take care of her.

- Are you Lea Larsen?

- Yes.

We're from Child Welfare.

We'll take over your child now,

and set up a meeting for you.

You can't just take Sonja now.

Henrik is at work.

We have to find

a good way to do this.

- Hello. We're from Child Protection.

- What's going on?

- We can't do this. We need help.

- Have you lost your mind?

You know we'll never see her again.

Yes, Child Protection can help us.

Mummy will come and get you soon.

She's going away for a little while.

Then I'll come and get you.

Yes, look at that.

I'll never forgive you for this.

She needs the light on at nights.

Rice porridge before bedtime.

Her teddy is in the pram.

She must have it when she sleeps.

She likes to be rocked to sleep.

She doesn't like loud noises.

She's never been yelled at.

You're not allowed to do that.

You just don't give up your child!

Yes, sometimes you do.

I can't fly anymore.

Taking heroin is as loud

as a human being can scream:

Help!

I need you to see me.

I no longer know what love is.

As a child, I knew.

And for a long time

I trusted it would return.

That the nature of love is such

that when you really need it,

it shows up.

We're moving, Lea.

To a secret address.

- Just me and you?

- Just me and you.

I've made pancakes.

You can bring them to school.

You're the most

precious thing I have.

Pretty flaps.

"You and me", Lea.

"You and me".

Who's that?

Perhaps they're like us.

This... You can try it on!

Lovely!

You've grown, my little Lea.

I heard her laughter again.

I saw her looking others in the eye.

I hoped it would do something to her.

- Hi!

- Hello.

But that was before Stine told me

what longing is.

How her mother

couldn't handle being alone.

- Have you run away before?

- Many times.

Mum! Mum!

Ole is coming!

Ole is coming!

We have to hurry...

He is coming to get us.

I can't bear being here anymore.

I have to look after her.

The day mum chose Ole over me,

I saw that she was a stranger.

Again, I thought that there was

something about her, I didn't grasp.

All families have secrets.

Grandpa came every summer.

I liked grandpa.

He was a mischievous grown up.

Mum always kept an eye on him.

I figured she looked after grandpa

like I looked after her.

Grandpa is gone now.

He probably thought he took

mum's secret with him to the angels.

It's that secret some mothers

keep from their children.

I know now that there is nothing

I could have done differently.

Mum hardly ever smiling

had nothing to do with me.

I came to a good place

where they called heroin "the angel".

The angel that comes

and lifts you away.

They asked me

what heroin does for me.

They said you can't take away

someone's heart medication

without replacing it

with something else.

Your forced rehab ends tomorrow.

After that, you're here voluntarily.

I know.

What do you think?

Should we call Hilde?

And ask them

if we can come for a visit.

You and I?

What about mum?

Some children are there for their

parents in a way they never should.

They had to,

because they couldn't opt out.

What does it mean

to choose your own child?

Could it be to let the child

grow up with someone else?

So that one day

she can to choose herself?

Hi.

- Mummy.

- Yes!

Mummy coming back.

Yes, mummy is always coming back.

Look.

How are you doing?

Your room is ready,

if you would like to come home.

All my things are at the rehab.

You can get them tomorrow.

Your mother really wants you

to come home today.

I miss you so much.

Mum, I love you very, very much.

But I really have to go.

Take care of yourself.

Some people are so beautiful

that it makes them sick.

When somebody you love

wants to die, what do you do?

I make a movie, and say:

Life. You must hang on to it.

There's someone who needs you.

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