Enlightenment Guaranteed

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Me and my lantern

And my lantern and me...

The stars are shining bright

Our lanterns in the night

Burn bright tonight

Burn bright all night

Burn bright tonight

Burn bright all night

ENLIGHTENMENT GUARANTEED

I don't have a light.

So now I have to carry it?

Look, Papa has a moon.

Now what do we do?

I've had enough of this.

Go on, 'Me and my lantern'...

I have the nicest lantern.

From Papa.

I'm sleeping.

Wake up!

Petra,

tell them to be quiet.

Now you've woken her up. Oh, no...

Go on.

She was up almost all night.

Shut them up.

Alright.

Why all the noise?

You know how Papa gets, don't you?

Yes.

Get up and brush your teeth.

Not yet.

Wake up, sleepyhead!

I am too!

Rise and shine!

[ Let go! ]

I'm trying to sleep. Petra!

Stay here!

I've had it!

Where are my jogging shoes?

They were over there.

I don't know. Look for them.

Did you hide my shoes?

- Stop it. Now you're yelling too.

- I have to hear.

Why do you think they yell?

Because you do.

Did you hide my shoes?

Listen to me.

I don't believe it.

This fountain...

It's the 4th time.

And it was expensive.

The floor...

And the rug...

Oh, sh*t!

I don't get it.

I mean...

it must be leaking somewhere.

Is it cold milk?

No, it's warm.

Something new.

Hello, Emilia.

Serves you right.

You know he doesn't like it.

It's only logical.

Emilia, look at me.

Look who's here.

Look who's crying.

Don't cry.

People learn from experience.

That's what makes us human.

Mama's coming.

In theory, at least.

Papa's filming and Mama's coming.

Mama made a mess.

These elements are movable.

The entire corner is.

Mobile kitchens for flexible people.

This unit has

exciting materials.

Might interest the gentleman.

Maple and metal.

And this is granite.

It's available

in various shades of grey.

Gustl...

Yes...

Are you coming?

Yes.

You have your key?

Nice of you to come.

I don't feel well here anymore.

Not in my own home.

I want to change something.

I've already had a change

in my private life.

That's life.

My mother...

And this is the kitchen?

This is the cooking area.

And the dining area...

Yes, well, it's apparent

that the energy here

flows right through

with no chance to focus.

In that window

and out that one.

Not very positive.

Is that better?

A little, for the moment.

I sit here. That's my husband's seat.

My ex-husband's, that is.

One could say that your seat is not

really favorable.

In the line of fire

of negative energy.

Whereas your partner, your husband

picked the best spot of all here.

The throne, so to speak.

The throne?

That's just like him.

The throne?

Why not...

Your date of birth?

April 10th, 1956.

Sign:
fire monkey.

Really?

I am too.

And... your element is earth.

Your best direction is...

Northeast.

So everything in that area.

In the south you have

accidents.

That's true.

He used to throw plates at me.

In the south.

But I went after him with a knife

and cut his hand.

Most arguments start in the kitchen.

Really?

It's true.

Most kitchens are poorly designed.

Too crowded.

Worst thing there is...

No space in a kitchen.

- I hate that.

- Me too.

A kitchen needs room.

And life.

A place to be together.

A kitchen has to make you happy.

You can think

while you chop and cook.

Aerobics for the soul.

Ever really cut onions?

Totally concentrated?

Thinking about nothing

but the onions?

Cleans out your head.

And your eyes.

Always makes me cry.

Why are we moving?

Where are we going?

Where are we moving?

Yeah, where to?

When do we go skiing?

When are we going skiing?

You have your scarf?

Why are we moving?

Put your suitcases

up in there.

And my animals?

In there too.

What about the midget?

He should carry something.

What?

Frankly,

this bed is deadly.

Deadly?

You can't be happy in this bed.

It's in the ghost path.

Someone could come in the door

and do you harm.

I suggest you move the bed.

In another direction.

And something else...

A fountain.

A fountain?

'I'm learning from experience

'that you'll never change.

'Don't look for us.

'I hope our lawyers

'can work this out peacefully. '

'Sleepyhead'

Your long underwear?

I can't wear it in the monastery.

No long underwear, no scarf...

What about your mini-iron?

I'll be in Tokyo too.

Oh, Gustl...

You in Tokyo. You get lost in stores.

That was 5 years ago.

Your meditation cushion?

You taking it?

Good question.

Ulli, you're brilliant!

Where's that from?

London.

We can tie it up

and you can take it.

You're so sweet.

And you're going to get up at 4

everyday?

Very funny.

It's my brother.

What's up?

Petra's gone.

No, not now. Really.

We had good times.

I don't know what to do.

Nobody ever said

that marriage

is a guarantee for happiness.

You have to work for it.

It's not like an article in a store

you just take.

"For better or for worse".

It's hard.

You have to hang in there.

Wait and see.

And maybe even say okay.

I want to die.

Who doesn't?

Take me along.

Take me with you.

You can't come with me.

Don't leave me alone.

You're not alone.

- You have friends.

- I can't take it.

Don't leave me.

You can't go to the monastery

with me.

- Listen...

- I can too.

You've never meditated.

You always laughed

when I talked about Zen.

I'll kill myself.

- No you won't.

- Yes I will.

Bullshit.

I will too.

- Cut it out.

- Out the window...

Stop it!

Please, please...

No, I'm going alone.

I'll carry your bags.

I've waited a year to go.

And I'm going alone.

I won't bother you. I'll just be there.

With you.

Don't leave me here.

I can't stay here alone.

My poor garden.

What garden?

It's not an ashtray?

Ashtray...

She took everything...

I'm going to bed, okay?

Don't leave me here all alone.

Say 'Good Morning'

to yourself.

I was drunk last night, Gustav.

Now you're taking me

to whatever you call it.

What? I don't believe it.

Oh, no, I got you a ticket

and you're coming!

What the hell for?

You're coming.

Not so loud.

Where is it in China?

It's in Japan.

Yeah, right.

Opposite Tokyo.

The Sojij monastery in Monzen.

Mon-zen? Like Mon Dieu?

Is that right? My God?

There's a nice story about a Zen monk

who lived in a cave.

He only had one candle and once,

at night, he heard a noise

and saw a big snake

lying in front of the cave.

He was really scared.

The candle went out

and he heard the snake moving.

He was terrified.

But he finally fell asleep anyway.

When he awoke in the morning

he walked to the entrance

and saw that it was just a large rope.

I feel like...

life is a chair

that's been pulled out from under me.

Know what I mean?

And I don't know

how to deal with it.

I don't know anything anymore.

I feel like a waste disposal.

To live is to suffer.

Thanks.

Buddha's first noble truth.

And that's good.

It means it's normal to suffer.

Look, Uwe...

You're like the blue sky.

And the clouds

are your worries and fears.

But you don't see it.

It takes practice.

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