Entourage Page #5

- Everything.

- Have you seen him in anything?

- Um, I...

I've seen him in Viking Quest.

- Really?

- Yeah, and he's in my movie.

Just four scenes.

Four pivotal scenes. He's amazing.

- Really?

- Yeah.

One of the reasons why I wanted

to make this movie...

...is I knew what that role

would do for my big bro.

- It's gonna change his life.

- Thanks, bro.

- Well, I can't wait to see it.

- I can't either.

So, what's up? Are we gonna do this?

- Ari, relax. It won't be dark for at least an hour.

- When everyone's seated, it will be. Let's go.

- All right. I gotta find E.

- F*** E.

So you're a Viking Quest fan?

- How long have you lived here?

- A couple of months.

It came with all the furniture and stuff,

so it feels lived in.

So, what's your deal, Turtle?

You selling coke these days?

No. Why would you say that?

Because the last time I saw you,

you were a fat pothead living off of Vince.

And now you live next to Spielberg.

I started a tequila company.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

And I started working out.

What do you do, Pilates?

I box a little. And I do cardio.

That's cute.

- What?

- I think someone's f***ing in there.

Come on.

Motherf***er!

My God!

- I got it.

- F***er.

Hey! Sh*t!

Of all the guys I never thought

I'd catch f***ing in my room.

- Sorry.

- No, don't be.

I love it. I love it.

Hi, Ronda Rousey.

I won 500 bucks on your last fight.

You said you were a Virgo?

Um, a Gemini.

The twins, right?

- Yeah.

- I love twins.

Come on, Vinnie.

Let's roll this motherf***er!

- You ever think about playing basketball?

- You ever thought about signing me?

Guys. Guys.

What the f*** are we doing?

Vince doesn't wanna show you

the movie with this crowd.

- Holy sh*t.

- What?

- How bad is it?

- Ari, it's...

No, you look nervous right now.

I've never seen you nervous.

- Just tell me, does it suck?

- No. It doesn't.

- Tell him it doesn't suck.

- It doesn't suck.

Film!

Film! Film! Film!

Film! Film! Film! Film!

Come on! F***ing film! Roll it, Vinnie!

Come on! Just put it on!

Vinnie, show us the f***ing film!

Let's go, baby!

Film! Film! Film!

Hey, I'm gonna take care of it.

Vince? Time to get this show on the road. I've

put in some quality time alone with Emily.

What's the running time on this?

A hundred and forty minutes.

Jesus.

I like short movies, Vince. You know?

And comedies. You ever seen Bad Grandpa?

- I'm calling this off.

- That never gets old.

You know, f*** these guys.

You know what?

Give Travis and Ari DVDs to take home.

- Hold on. Vince...

- I can watch that with Emily.

Hey, everyone.

- Vinnie.

- Good news and bad news.

The bad news is the projector broke.

No! No, no. Vinnie, no!

The good news is...

...look who just showed up:

- Pharrell!

- Pharrell? What the f*** is Pharrell?

Could we possibly convince you

to come up here and perform?

I'm gonna kill Vince.

- My life is over.

- No, it isn't, Ari. Relax.

Relax, E? You remember

that Colombian soccer player...

...that got strung up by his dick

after giving up the game-winning goal?

That's where we're headed

if this movie tanks.

Vince will not come back from this,

neither will I and neither will you.

Relax knowing that.

I don't ask for much, do I?

Health and happiness for the kids,

peace on Earth...

...the wife to have bigger tits,

only sometimes.

- But I'm...

- What are you doing?

- Nothing.

- You didn't come to bed.

- No, I haven't...

- What...?

What, are you praying?

Yeah. Something wrong with that?

Well, you don't believe in God, so...

For the good stuff I do.

It's 2 a.m. You sat down

to watch this movie at midnight.

I'm mentally prepping.

- I'm gonna start now. You wanna join me?

- You said I couldn't.

You could blow me through it

if it sucks. Ease the pain?

Good luck. I'll see you in bed.

I love you.

I love you too.

Don't f*** me on this, Vinnie.

Don't you f*** me.

Sadly, all good

parties must come to an end.

Come on. There is no way Emily

would bang that yokel.

- I'm telling you, she left with him.

- I don't care. No way.

These guys with money

always get women out of their league.

You mean like Turtle and Ronda?

Please. She's more likely to break his

windpipe than bang his malnourished ass.

We'll see.

We were texting all night.

And she sent me a sexy pic.

- Yeah, right.

- Shut up.

That's a fight promo pic.

Not released yet though, b*tch.

And she just said, "I'm sending an Uber

for you," in 90 minutes, so both of you.

Professional pics, Uber car...

She wants something from you

and it ain't your dick, bro.

I agree. She probably wants you to make her

some money now that you're Mini-Mark Cuban.

That's fine. Truth is, I'd rather work

with her than date her, anyway.

You are so full of sh*t, Turtle.

Or maybe those skinny pills he's taking

are filled with estrogen.

- Yo, yo.

- Good morning, bro.

- Any word from Ari?

- Radio silence.

He probably hasn't even

watched it yet, Vin.

Yeah, maybe his DVD player broke.

Hey, sit down, bro. I made your favorite:

Hand-rolled croissants...

...eggs Benedict with champagne

sherry-infused barnaise sauce...

...and freshly squeezed guava juice.

That's your favorite.

Johnny, this looks great,

but I'm not really hungry.

Hey, come on. Even if Ari hated

the movie, who gives a sh*t?

He's still a f***ing agent at heart.

- Yeah, seriously, bro. F*** Ari.

- Yeah, f*** him.

F*** Ari.

Thanks, guys.

It's Ari.

- Think he heard us?

- What'd he say?

- He wants us to go out front.

- Why?

- Wow.

- Holy sh*t.

- Look at this!

- I guess he didn't hate the movie.

No, actually, he loved it.

"Vinnie, I'm blown away. Blown away.

And, E, you've done good too."

Any mention of me in that note, bro?

All right, here we go!

Yeah, baby!

I really need an answer, Ari.

Time is running out.

Isn't my offering up my house

for the ceremony enough, Lloyd?

No. Even though that is so amazingly generous,

this is so much more important to me.

I need more information.

- Like what?

- Like what will you be wearing?

I know it can't be white...

- ...because you've been banged more times...

- Ari.

Hey, Liam.

Go f*** yourself, Ari.

Forgive and forget, buddy. No?

Hey, Schindler. Leave no Jew behind!

- Ari?!

- Listen, Lloyd, I love you.

But I just can't commit.

Really?

Hey, Ari. Tell me you're not parking there.

My studio, Ed. Don't force me to revoke

your parking privileges.

F***ing a**hole.

Who is insane enough to park

in my spot, Allen?

I do not know.

Tow it. Actually, I'm in a good mood.

Just spit on it.

That's my car, Ari.

Travis McCredle's here to see you.

- I can see that now.

- Sorry.

- Didn't know where else to put it.

- That's okay.

What's happening? You get a chance to look

at Vinnie Chase's masterpiece?

I did. You got a minute to chat?

Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

Hold all my calls, Allen.

Okay. But remember you have

couples therapy at 11.

And, Ari. Ari. Do you still

want me to spit on his car?

Wow, what a space.

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