Entourage Page #7

to his past behaviors.

It's as if we're in a time machine.

The past behaviors

that almost ended your marriage.

Yes.

You don't feel that is true, Ari?

No, of course I don't feel

that it's true, because it's not.

I promised my wife

that if she let me go back to work...

...it would be nothing but fun, and it has

been. I do almost nothing but smile all day.

And the anger meds didn't make me calm.

They just made me not able to come...

...which just made me angry

and just made my wife sore.

Now, currently, I am a

little bit stressed...

...about this giant movie, because I haven't

been able to see it until yesterday.

Thank God, it's f***ing amazing.

Suddenly this little punk b*tch version

of Forrest Gump...

...thinks he has the authority to weigh in on

cutting my movie star director's brother...

...and his f***ing Foghorn Leghorn of a father

won't call me back to tell me that he doesn't.

So, yes, I am a tiny, tiny bit stressed,

which is normal, no?

Why don't we keep the focus off work?

- Tell her what you did today.

- What does that have to do with anything?

He told his ex-assistant that he could

have his wedding at our house.

- "Ex-assistant." He's like a daughter to me.

- You didn't even ask me.

- I thought you'd like it.

- 300 gay men running around in our yard?

You're making bigoted

assumptions now, baby.

He said it was it'd be a toga-themed

wedding with glass d*ldos as centerpieces.

That was a joke, obviously.

He has these highs and lows.

Like, one minute he's on the phone, screaming,

and the next he's on the ground, praying.

And I have this feeling in my gut

that he could explode at any second.

It's just not true.

- I told you to turn that off.

- I thought I did. Ahem.

It could be the Texan or Vince...

It's the studio.

It's a new phone.

I don't how to turn the ringer off.

- Turn the whole power off.

- Well, I don't know how to.

Well, it's the studio again.

- Don't answer that.

- Well, it must be important.

- Don't.

- It could be about the Texan or Vince.

I have to take it. I...

- What?

- Did you show a cut...

...of Vince's movie

to Larsen McCredle's son?

Yes. How do you know?

The editor just called.

- Apparently the kid showed up with notes.

- Jesus.

- Is Vince there?

- Not yet.

But the kid said, and I'm quoting:

"That pretty boy director is locked out...

...along with everyone else,

until I say so."

Aargh!

Ari?

- Ari?

- I gotta go, Dana.

I'm okay to continue.

Look, maybe she did wanna bang you. My bad.

- Yeah. Your bad. You totally got in my head.

- Why don't you just call her and apologize?

I already did. She sent me

straight to voicemail. Twice.

Look, Turtle, I'm sorry.

- But I got my own problems right now.

- Don't f*** girls with boyfriends, you wouldn't.

- She never mentioned she had a boyfriend.

- I wouldn't worry about it.

Unless she sells you out,

how's he gonna find you anyway?

Well, maybe he recognized me.

What are the odds of that?

A billion to one at least.

- Could you please not make fun of me?

- Ever?

All right, what's the problem?

You know what I'm auditioning

for tomorrow?

Victim Number Three on The Mentalist.

- An old, broken-down male ballerina.

- Good part?

You know, I know people have looked

at me as a joke for the past 20 years.

But in Vince's movie...

...it felt like I found something.

And I'm just praying that people see it...

...and that things really change for me.

I got a good feeling that they will.

Thanks.

- Hey, is that E?

- No.

- Maybe.

- That is E.

Hang on.

Yo, E!

- What are you doing?

- Nothing.

Where's your car?

Nobody walks in L.A., E.

You look stupid.

My life is over.

Come on, Travis. Open the door.

- I'm dealing with Ari on this, Vince.

- On what? Come on!

- Just open the door!

- Yo, Vinnie, what's up?

- Yo, what's up, Mark?

- I'm doing some looping for Ted 3.

- 3? How many of those are you gonna do?

- Sh*t, I'll do 20 if I can.

What's the matter? Your girlfriend

lock you out of the editing room?

No, my co-financier.

You serious? My boys will break down

the f***ing door right now.

- I got the Hamster here. He's crazy.

- I'm crazy.

- Vinnie.

- What's up, Ari?

- What kind of sh*t studio you running here?

- Mark, hey. Calm down.

Dude, I'm calm. But you better get excited.

You don't want everybody around town thinking

that this is how you treat your filmmakers.

- What the f*** is going on?

- I am dealing with it.

E said he won't release any more money.

- Can he do that?

- Ari.

He's got issues.

- He doesn't like the movie?

- It doesn't matter.

Tell him the truth.

- Yeah, seriously. Ari, come on, speak!

- Tell him the truth. Don't be shy.

He doesn't like Drama.

He wants to cut him out.

- Johnny?

- That's f***ed up, Vince.

I'm doing my show Wahlburgers at A&E. If they

try to cut my mother, I'd kill somebody.

Even if she sucked as bad

as Drama probably sucks.

You guys know Reggie from Jordan, right?

You want some shoes?

- No, no, we're good, Mark.

- Gotcha.

- I'm not cutting out Johnny.

- No, you're not.

I will take care of it.

You better.

Sh*t. That's Ari Gold.

Have the redneck country-ass hick

in editing bay three dragged off my lot.

If he resists, you have my permission

to shoot him in the f***ing head!

You're like an NBA player, E.

Imagine when someone says,

"You have twins?"

He says, "No, they're not twins.

One was born in October, one in April."

- Like miniature Irish twins.

- You guys are funny...

- ...but what do I do?

- Take a breath. You don't even know it's yours.

- Yeah, or if she wants it.

- Well, she wants something.

- You guys don't have to wait.

- We know. We will anyway.

He's a f***ing idiot.

Who cares what he thinks?

Someone, apparently, because

they're letting him hold my film hostage.

- Not to pile on...

- What?

Well, my publicist called and said that

Just Jared wants to know if we're dating.

I don't care. Up to you. Tell them

whatever you're comfortable with.

That wasn't their only question.

- No?

- No.

They wanted to confirm that there's

something wrong with the movie...

- ...since you canceled the screening.

- Jesus.

- What did you tell them?

- That it was great.

Do you really think it's great?

Yes.

Now, stop.

You're too good-looking to be insecure.

I'm gonna call E.

- Ha.

- F*** you doing?

We're hungry.

Eric.

Hey.

- Paula.

- Yeah, of course.

- Hi. How are you?

- Good. Funny running into you here.

I wanted to talk to you,

but we didn't exchange numbers.

Yeah, I know. Sorry about that.

- Do you mind if I sit for a minute?

- You know, actually, I have a meeting right now.

- Is there any way I can call you later?

- We had sex last night...

- ...so I'm gonna sit for one minute.

- Okay.

- Isn't that the girl he banged last night?

- I think so.

- She the one that got pregnant?

- I can't keep up with this guy.

I just wanted to say that

that was really fast for me.

I don't usually do that that fast.

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