Entourage Page #8

Me either.

It was something about you.

Like, you just seemed

so sweet and innocent.

Is that an act?

- No.

- Really?

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Is that the other one?

- I don't know. I guess.

This could get ugly.

- Should we do something?

- Yeah.

- Take pictures.

- What, did you bring a date?

No, no, no. We just ran into each other.

I just met him last night.

Is this your girlfriend?

Last night you said you didn't have one.

I don't. I don't have a girlfriend.

No, no, no. I'm not his girlfriend.

Excuse me.

Although, we did have sex...

...yesterday.

Are you serious? So did we.

- Did he get you pregnant also?

- Not that I know of.

You better check because, apparently,

he has very strong swimmers.

Okay, um, I will go to the gyno today.

What time did you guys have sex?

Like 6 a.m. Why?

Okay, so you're fine.

The reason why

I wanted to talk to you today...

This is, like, embarrassing. Um...

- You might need to go to the doctor too.

- What?

I really don't wanna talk about this

in front of her.

Talk about what?

Okay, I might have something.

It's probably not contagious.

- Ew.

- Don't get nasty with me, b*tch.

- What do you have, like herpes or something?

- Can you shut the f*** up?

Shh. Girls, I don't know what to say

to you at the same time...

Why don't you say you're sorry

for being another typical L.A. douchebag?

- Because I'm not.

- Well, we think you are.

Who runs around and uses

as many girls as he can.

- I don't.

- Well, we think you do.

- "We"?

- We used to live together, Eric.

We haven't spoke in a little,

but we did this morning...

...and somehow your name came up.

- So you're not really pregnant.

- No.

- And you don't have herpes.

- No.

Thank God!

This was pointless.

No. This isn't pointless. I get the point.

Thank you. Well, not thank you,

but, I mean, I'm sorry.

What the f***?

It's still too bleak.

Yes, this movie will be

an Oscar contender...

...but it also has

commercial appeal as well.

The poster needs

to let toothless guys in Texas...

...who snort meth

and possibly f*** their sisters...

...know that it's also fun

for a Saturday night.

If only we could see it, Ari.

DVDs are being made as we speak.

Everyone can see it now.

- You've seen it?

- Yes.

- And it works?

- It works, Dana.

I saw it last night. Ha-ha-ha.

It works so well, in fact, that tonight,

after everyone goes home...

...I might sneak onto the set, go into the

Hyde laboratory and masturbate into a beaker.

Ari. John Ellis keeps calling.

- The chairman of the studio?

- I know who he is.

He's on the lot.

- John Ellis is on the lot?

- Yeah.

What'd he say?

He said to tell you

to get your ass up to his office. Now.

What should I, tell him?

You tell him to get his ass

down to my office.

Now!

Ari. Ari!

He said what?

Motherf***er.

Ari. Hey, buddy.

- Dude, what's this May 4th release date?

- I don't have any time for this.

- Come on, dude. Are you serious?

- I'll talk to Marketing. We'll get on it.

We're up against Tyler Perry, the new

Hunger Games. We'll get slaughtered.

You know what, I don't know you.

Hey, Warren.

- What the hell did you do to John Ellis?

- It's all good.

- You know how much of the studio I own?

- The whole thing.

Yeah, well, fix it, Ari.

It's done. Thank you, Warren.

- Ari! Ari!

- I can't now, Jess.

Are you kidding me?

I just got off the phone

with f***ing Kives...

...and he said that you still haven't

greenlit my passion project.

- No, I know. Jess, we're going...

- What the f***?

Do you think I give a sh*t about

zombie apocalypse? What the f*** is that?

I'm dealing with a

first-time director here...

...who's more interested in Instagramming

my ass. Hashtag "Jessica Alba's ass."

- Well...

- Are you kidding me?

Look me in the face.

I'm gonna walk off this project...

- ...if you don't greenlight my movie.

- Done.

- Swear.

- I swear to you, it's done.

- Swear.

- It's done.

- On your mom.

- Yeah, on my mom.

Are you out of your f***ing mind?

- Relax, John. Your heart.

- I don't have a heart problem.

No, but you're old. Heh.

You think this is funny?

You told me when I took this job

that I wouldn't have to answer to McCredle.

I didn't know you would

go over budget on your first shot.

It doesn't matter what a movie costs.

Only what it makes.

- This one is going to make...

- Ari, I put my reputation on the line...

...to get you this job.

No, you begged me to take this job.

Actually, you begged me

to take your job.

And then you took your offer back and

told me that you were going to groom me.

- For one year.

- And this is your idea of grooming?

This is the new world. We're all in it.

We minimize our risk.

And maximize our position as pussies

by kowtowing to cowtippers?

I told you, with this movie, I didn't want

any of their f***ing farm money.

- I didn't need it.

- The board disagreed.

And so did I.

About how much you spent

and about how you made it.

So this is all about Vince.

Nobody thought he had any business directing

this film. You bullied it through.

That's why you wanted me

to succeed you.

- I bully everything through.

- See it any way you like.

I'm taking you off this movie.

Dana Gordon is in charge now.

We made a great movie

that this idiot is trying to f*** up.

This idiot's father owns half

the f***ing negative, and you know it.

He can toss it in the garbage

if he decides to.

- You have the...

- Dana has this covered.

You stay the f*** out of it.

Hey, John. You can't do this.

Ari, I just did.

Yo, E, what the f***?

I've been calling you for two hours.

Sorry, my phone's dead. You cannot

imagine what I've been dealing with.

- These girls here are crazy.

- I'm never touching another one again.

Why, because of this

or because no one'll let you?

Guys, you know I love you all,

but right now...

...I don't give a f***

about what you're talking about.

We got a real problem with this Travis guy, and

I need my manager-producer back now, okay?

Okay.

Did Ari tell you why he's not gonna

release the money?

- He didn't like the movie?

- What didn't he like?

Is it me?

Please, for the love of God,

tell me it's not me he didn't like.

What kind of a sick,

narcissistic f*** are you?

- Not everything in the world is about you.

- Seriously, Drama.

Just cut me out, bro.

Johnny, stop.

No, I get it.

Just cut me.

The good life wasn't meant for me.

I was given the gift of delusional

confidence, but not any real talent.

Will you shut up and put that sh*t down?

- You should be drinking my tequila anyway.

- Real men drink whiskey, Turtle.

Vince.

I don't want you to f*** up your movie

because of me, bro.

You're worth more to the

universe than I am.

And I'm finally okay with that.

Johnny.

This movie is what it is

because of you...

...and because of E...

...and even Turtle.

Because we do things we love.

Not things some rich prick, whose daddy

gives him everything, tells us to.

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