Envy Page #2

Synopsis: Ben Stiller and Jack Black star as Tim and Nick, best friends, neighbors and co-workers, whose equal footing is suddenly tripped up when one of Nick's harebrained get-rich-quick schemes actually succeeds: Vapoorizer, a spray that literally makes dog poop, or any other kind for that matter, evaporate into thin air -- to where exactly is anyone's guess. Tim, who had scoffed at Nick's idea and passed on an opportunity to get in on the deal, can only watch as Nick's fortune -- and Tim's own envy -- grow to equally outrageous proportions. When the flames of jealousy are fanned by an oddball drifter (Walken) who imposes himself into the situation, Tim's life careens wildly out of control ... taking Nick's with it.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Barry Levinson
Production: DreamWorks SKG
  3 nominations.
 
IMDB:
4.8
Metacritic:
31
Rotten Tomatoes:
8%
PG-13
Year:
2004
99 min
$12,181,484
Website
335 Views


[Tim] He's not doing anything.

- Does he have any lines?

- No, honey, he's a tree.

Three months of rehearsal.

Dimitriov wants to know

if l want to take it to the next level.

Four thousand bucks.

You want to go in with me, 50l50?

[chuckling] l pray to God

you're kidding.

- Your invention?

- Yeah.

We've been working with dry ice.

We've got something amazing.

Nick, forget it.

No, wait a minute. $2,000.

We have that in our savings.

[Debbie] Who knows?

Sh*t doesn't just disappear.

lt has to go somewhere.

And it's not an invention, it's an idea.

lt's a pie in the sky idea.

And l'll tell you,

as your best friend...

l think you should

just pull out right now.

Don't waste your money.

You're gonna regret it.

''lt's pie in the sky.''

- [screaming]

- [gasping]

Where are the kids?

What's happening?

Honey?

[Natalie] l have champagne glasses, too.

[Nick] All right!

What's happening?

[Nick] Okay, let me get it for you.

l'll do everything.

You just stay there and just relax

and get ready for the big stuff.

- [Nick] We got it.

- [Natalie giggling]

- Exciting.

- Watch this.

[Nick] l'm so glad you guys are here!

This is Dimitriov.

- Meet our best friends in the universe.

- How do you do?

Give Tim the flash, Big D.

Okay. Here, take it.

[Nick] Goggles.

Shine it right on her, buddy boy.

''Her''?

[whooping, screaming]

[cheering continues]

- You told me it would work and it did!

- [Natalie] Did you see that?!

[Nick] lt works.

lt works like a charm.

Did you guys see that?

[Nick] Get a camera.

There's nothing to shoot!

Spray some on my butt

because l shat my pants. Yeah!

We are going to be so rich, Dimitriov!

[Nick] Vapoorize!

[Natalie] God, we are going

to be so rich!

No matter what kind of dog you have,

let's face it,

they all gotta do their ''business.''

Vapoorize!

That's right!

[Nick] One spray: Problem solved.

ls this some kind of video trick?

No.

lt's the miracle spray.

One spray and doggy doo disappears.

No fuss, no muss, no tools,

no robot arm...

''How do l work it? l don't know!''

- Too good to be true?

- No!

Vapoorize:
Because life is tough enough.

[announcer] Now at stores everywhere.

[announcer] Now at stores everywhere.

~ [piano, offbeat drumming]

[cheering]

[speaking in Spanish]

Now's a good time

to break the big news.

l have decided to run for Congress.

Congress.

No, l'm serious.

Yeah. l mean, not the big Congress,

of course, the little one.

- ''The little one.''

- ''The little one?''

Yeah. Actually, it might be

the state senate. l can't remember.

Anyway, l'm super excited...

because we are so lucky...

and we have so, so, so much.

And l feel like

we should give something back.

So, l've decided

l'm going to run for Congress

or state senate or whatever.

And my main platform...

is going to be...

the environment.

State senate.

Environment, like the whole environment?

Yeah. l believe in all environments

and l'm going to say it.

And now for dessert.

Flan!

- Flan! Oh, boy!

- Whoo!

- Come on, kids, flan time!

- Get down here, the flan's here!

[Natalie] Flan, kids! Flan!

l love flan. Do you?

What is flan?

My God, you're in for such a treat.

- You don't know flan?

- Eat your flan, buddy. Kids, flan!

- Guys, flan's on the table!

- Flan!

Flan! Flan!

Flan! Yay, flan! Flan!

What's flan?

''Jasper and Amos

shine the flashlight into the hole.

''Staring up at them, tied and gagged,

was Louie the Grouch.''

lt's getting exciting, isn't it?

Boy, that flan was good.

l wish we had flan.

Dad?

Yeah?

Why are we getting the little,

itty-bitty pool?

lt's not a little itty-bitty.

The square one's little itty-bitty.

We're getting the bean-shaped model.

A little itty-bitty bean.

lt's not a little, itty-bitty bean.

lt's an average-sized bean, Mikey.

And l got news for you.

There are kids in the world

who'd walk 50 miles through quicksand

just to stick a toe in your pool.

And l got news for you about beans too.

Some kids'd eat beans because they've

had nothing to eat their whole life,

but leaves and bark and roots.

And l guarantee you, none of them has

ever heard of your big, show-off flan,

or flan or whatever you want to call it

that you got to have every night.

Two thousand dollars.

That's all it would've taken.

- lt's okay, honey.

- Dad's just having a meltdown.

Good night. Sleep tight.

- l don't like English muffins.

- Eat your cereal.

- l don't like English muffins.

- Eat your cereal.

- Try different breakfast foods.

- l like pancakes.

- Tomorrow we'll have pancakes.

- Fine.

l don't want any more cereal.

Eat up, otherwise you don't

get to play with Corky, okay?

- What?

- Nothing.

Why are you always asking ''what''?

- l'm not always asking ''what.''

- Yes, you are.

lt's true, Dad, you are.

Well, because l know there's something.

- And you know exactly what it is.

- Then why do you always say ''nothing''?

- Corky!

- [Debbie] Hold Lula's hand, honey.

[Tim groans]

- [Mikey] Corky!

- [nickering]

So beautiful.

[Mikey] Such a great horse, Corky.

[Mikey] Who's a good boy?

Corky's a sweet and gentle horse

and me and the kids love him.

Corky happens to sh*t

the size of a breadbasket

in our yard every day

when he comes to visit.

What are you doing?

Nothing. Nothing at all.

l'm just throwing away some more

completely useless inventions.

For chrissakes, Debbie, light?

Light?! Come on!

Come on! This was sh*t.

You think Edison would've looked up

from his workbench at some sh*t spray?

Yes. Yes, l do.

Because, you see, a good invention

is a good invention!

l got news for you, sister.

Edison ain't looking up.

Sister. Sister?!

l'm calling you sister.

You should be so lucky

to be my sister.

She knows what she's talking about.

Windtalker, or whatever her name is.

- Do not call her that. lt's Windsong.

- Windsong. My mistake. Windsong.

Knockety, knockety.

A-knock, knock, knock.

Knockety, knockety.

A-knock, knock, knock.

How's everybody doing?

What a day, right?

My God! Can you believe

the coffee that makes?

l knew you'd love it.

Let's go, tiger.

[gasping, cooing]

Look who's here, will you please?

Look who's here. lt's okay, poopie.

Have you been stealing apples again,

you little rascal?

Listen, and l want you to be honest,

has Corky become a nuisance?

- No.

- Not one bit.

Natalie says, ''Keep the corral closed.''

But Corky's so crazy about your apples,

l don't know what to do.

No more apples for you.

No more apples...

l can't stop him. He loves your apples.

Are you sure he's not a problem?

- Positive.

- You guys are so fantastic.

Well, my buddy boy,

let's go shoot us some golf.

Well, my buddy boy,

let's go shoot us some golf.

l got something for you.

l'll be right back.

- Nick, no. Please.

- Yes. You'll love it.

You don't have to get me anything else.

[Nick] When l hit it big,

everyone said l should buy a house

in Beverly Hills, Bel Air or Malibu.

''Why you spending money

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Steve Adams

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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