Erik the Viking Page #7

Man over board!

Thorfinn starts trying to fish him out. Ivar has started to panic and is beating the drum too fast.

ERIK:

Slower! In... Out...

IVAR:

Sorry!

SVEN:

(his eyes showing their whites)

We're being attacked! KILL! Kill! Kill!

SVEN'S DAD

Not now, Sven...

SVEN:

I must KILL! Kill!

SVEN'S DAD

It's no good going berserk against a dragon!

Sven's dad slaps him around the face. There is another roar from the monster. Erik turns to Ivar.

ERIK:

Faster!

IVAR:

Make your mind up.

Suddenly the Dragon's head appears out of the mists above them once again. There is panic amongst the Vikings as some start to row faster than others. Screams.

ERIK:

Keep up the strike!

The Dragon's jaws open. Flame licks out, and down the centre of the vessel. There are screams as the Vikings leap out of the way. Sven goes berserk again.

SVEN:

KILL! KILL!

SVEN'S DAD

Stop it!

The Dragon's eyes dilate and its jaws open. The men throw themselves to the deck as if expecting more fire. But instead the creature's fangs crash into the wood of the stern of GOLDEN DRAGON.

ERIK:

ROW!

SVEN:

DEATH!

SVEN'S DAD

Shut UP!

ERIK:

Row!

Erik looks around at his terror-stricken crew. He realizes this is an important moment. It is up to him to save the situation. Suddenly an idea occurs to him, as he catches sight of the pillow that his mother gave him.

ERIK:

Keep rowing!

Erik dashes to his sea-chest under the mast and pulls out the pillow.

THORFINN:

Erik! Row! What are you doing?

ERIK:

(holding up the pillow)

It saved my father!

Erik starts to shin up the mast.

SNORRI:

Barmy.

Sven's dad is desperately holding Sven back.

SVEN'S DAD

HOLD it! HOLD it in!

SVEN:

DEATH TO DRAGONS!

ERIK:

Row!

SNORRI:

Has anyone told him we've got a dragon eating our boat?

Erik has reached the top of the mast and is now right up with the incandescent globe on the end of the long stalk that grows onto the monster's nose. He grabs hold of it and swings across onto the monster's nose. At his moment Sven breaks free of his dad and throws himself onto one of the Dragon's teeth.

SVEN:

Red mist!

He bangs his head against the monstrous denture. Sven's dad looks heavenward in despair. Cut to Harald Missionary who is offering his bible to the petrifies Vikings in the prow.

HARALD:

It's at time like this that you'll find this book MOST useful, you know...

Keitel takes the bible from him and hits him over the head with it.

KEITEL:

Row! You idiot!

The monster's eyes dilate wildly as they try to focus on the tiny figure of Erik on its snout. Erik shoves the pillow up one of the Dragon's nostrils. Snorri watches Erik incredulously. He shakes his head.

SNORRI:

His father went crazy too... Used to take forty winks in the middle of a battle...

Thorfinn frowns - he has a glimmering of an idea of what Erik is doing. Erik now plunges his sword through the pillow in the Dragon's nostril, and feathers immediately fly into the air.

ERIK:

Now... take a deep breath.

The Dragon goes cross-eyed, trying to see what's going on on its snout.

ERIK:

Go on! Breathe in, you cod-brain!

Meanwhile the Dragon's tongue suddenly licks out around its tooth. Sven instantly slices through it with his sword. The bright blood spurts, like bursting a sausage. The Dragon gives an agonized roar and a sharp intake of breath. The feathers that have leaked out from the pillow are instantly sucked inside and the whole pillow disappears right up the Dragon's nose. For a moment everyone holds their breath. The Dragon's eye dilate wildly. Then it wrinkles its snout. Then it starts what is unmistakably a sneeze.

THE DRAGON OF THE NORTH SEA

Ah... ah... ah...

ERIK:

Hold TIGHT!

THE DRAGON OF THE NORTH SEA

Ah... ah... ah...

Erik leaps back across the mast.

THE DRAGON OF THE NORTH SEA

CHOO!!

A hurricane of wind and feathers blasts out of the Dragon's nostrils and hits all the Vikings at once. Everyone is disgusted by the Dragon's breath.

SNORRI:

Urgh! What's it been eating?

But the blast has already catapulted the boat into the sky, and it hurtles through the clouds. leaving the Dragon of the North Sea far behind. They all look up at Erik and cheer. Shot of Erik. He doesn't look too happy. Neither does Ivar the Boneless, because he too has just noticed that they are now flying and the ocean is several thousand feet below them. Ivar screams. The other all rush to the side to look too.

ERIK:

No! No! Get back!

Unfortunately they all rush to the SAME side and the boat tips over with far more instability than when it is in the water. Leif and Thangbrand are catapulted down into the sea. We watch them descend into tiny dots and tiny unheard splashes below.

THORFINN:

Who was that?

SNORRI:

Leif the Lucky.

Others are almost falling out. There is renewed panic.

ERIK:

Get back!

Poor Erik is still up the mast but has been dislodged and is now hanging on by his hands, dangling over the open sea. Some of the men - Thorfinn and Sven the Berserk amongst them - are hauling themselves up the almost vertical slope of the deck, trying to redress the balance. Meanwhile Keitel Blacksmith is dangling by one hand.

KEITEL:

I can't hold on! I can't hold on!

Sven worms his way along the edge - at great peril to himself - and grabs Keitel's wrist just as his fingers slip.

KEITEL:

Aaagh!

SVEN:

Got you!

Keitel looks up in Sven's eyes. He is totally at Sven's mercy. What thoughts are going through his mind? How is he going to betray Sven in future if he is rescued? Guilt suddenly overwhelms him.

KEITEL:

Let me go, Sven.

SVEN:

What are you talking about?

KEITEL:

I'm not worth risking your life for.

SVEN:

I've got you, Keitel Blacksmith. If you go... I go too...

KEITEL:

For your own sake... For the others... I...

SVEN:

Hang on...

The boat begins to right itself just as Erik finally can't hold on any more, and he plummets, straight into the ship, and through the bottom up to his waist. His legs dangle. At the same moment the prov of the boat tips and suddenly they are plummeting down towards the ocean. They hit the water with an almighty splash. Erik is thrown clear of the hull by the force of the water now cascading up through the hole he has made.

SNORRI:

First we're flying - now we're sinking!

ERIK:

Well, come on!

He whisks off his helmet and starts bailing. All follow suit. Night falls. Some time later. The Vikings are still bailing out, but the water is up to their thighs.

IVAR THE BONELESS

Who are we fooling? It's hopeless!

Ivar flings down the helmet with which he's been bailing. The others look at each other. They are reconciled to the fact that they are going to drown.

HARALD MISSIONARY

(hopelessly)

Let's sing something!

SNORRI:

Anyone know any good drowning songs?

The suggestion falls flat.

ERIK:

Listen! Maybe we won't get to Hy-Brasil! Maybe we won't find the Horn Resounding... but at least we've tried... and at least we shall have died like men.

SNORRI:

Like fish.

SVEN:

Shut up.

THORFINN:

(raising his sword)

Erik's right! We'll all meet in Valhalla.

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