Ernest Scared Stupid Page #5

All right, listen,

I don't know what's going on

here, but let's take a look.

Come on, let's see it, Ernest.

Uh, Cliff...

I want an all-points

bulletin out on my boys now!

You leave the police work to me, mayor.

Ernest, open it up.

You want me to squash him flat, sheriff?

Just open the damn thing, Ernest!

Slowly.

Slowly.

Oh!

Oh!

Some heads are gonna

roll, ain't they, daddy?

Blech!

Boys.

Boy, you've done it this time.

Ernest, I don't believe

it! Of all your screw-ups!

But, mayor, there really

is a troll. I saw it.

Ernest is the only one

trying to do something.

Kenny, that's enough from you.

That does it, Worrell. You're fired!

Uh, but, uh, I... the beeper!

You park the truck,

you turn in the keys,

and you get outta here!

Let's go, boys.

Ernest, you've been acting like a child

about this troll thing.

It's time to grow up.

But I saw them. They were...

Kenny, come on.

Kenny...

Tell him.

Kenny, get in the car!

I guess I really blew it this time.

We're finished in this town.

So much for being a hero.

Thanks, but it's no use.

I'm a Worrell...

cursed...

bottom of the gene pool...

no money down...

nothing to live for.

Yow!

Rimshot!

Thanks! I needed that!

You're right. I've never been a quitter.

Why... why, I've never

known when to quit.

Just ask my fourth-grade teacher.

He never knew when to quit.

Oh!

Eliza, Michael, Allison, Joshua...

Your time has come, my children.

One more, and the

cycle will be complete.

Well, Rimshot, I-I guess

there are no trolls here.

Ha ha.

Golly! Do you believe that?

This reminds me of that

moment from the movie

"Brain Barnacles from Planet Tycor,"

you know, when the brain

barnacles were getting set

to latch themselves onto

the brain of Queen Paternia?

And then...

Golly!

They look just like Brussels sprouts.

I hate Brussels sprouts, don't you?

We better go tell Miss Hackmore.

Gosh, Rimshot, pretty soon,

kids won't have to worry

about eating their Brussels sprouts

'cause the Brussels

sprouts will be eating them!

Aaaaah!

Quick, Troll Away!

I can't believe it!

It worked! Oh, but not for long!

He's on the roof! Uh-oh!

We've got to do something!

Aaah!

Tom, Bobby! Tom, Bobby, help!

Mayday, Mayday, Christmas

Day, Columbus Day!

Tom, Bobby, do something!

He's on the roof! Tom!

Come on in, Troll Trapper, this

is Blue Leader. Come on back.

Tom, Bobby! Tom, Bobby, help!

Aaaaah!

You're gonna pay for the

sins of your forefathers!

I didn't have four fathers,

I just had one father,

and I didn't know him that well!

Ah ha ha. Too smart for you, huh?

Aaaaaaah!

Aaaaaaah!

Aaah!

Aaah! Aaah!

Get away from me, snot locker!

Whoa!

Wa-aaah!

Okay, stubby, how 'bout

a little off the top?

En garde!

Uh-oh!

Aaah!

Aha!

Little did you suspect

that I am a master

of hedge-clip-kito,

the secret oriental fighting

art of Japanese gardeners.

Yuh!

We did it, Rimshot! We got him!

I am Troll Fighter Number One.

Uh-oh.

Rimshot!

I don't believe it, Rimshot.

He's pulling against... 200 horsepower.

Put it in reverse.

Oh, no!

How 'bout a bumper

sandwich, booger lips?

Ah heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

Bonsai!

Bingo! You got him, Rimshot.

Way to go!

Where'd he go, Rimshot?

Where'd he go? He couldn't

have just disappeared.

By now, he must be a

greasy spot on the road.

Where did he go?

Where did he go?

Wa-aaaaah!

Aaaaah!

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Watch out, Bobby!

Oh!

Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!

Ow.

So I was mesmerizing him

with my lightning moves...

Ow! Ah!

And I was about to lower

that coup de grass...

Ow! Ah!

When old booger lips here... Ow!

Called timeout... Ow!

And sucker-punched me.

Oh, look. Look at this.

There's... there's two pages

stuck together.

"How th... looks like 'thou'...

canst destroyeth a troll. "

"Thou canst destroyeth

the troll with... "

Uh,

M-I-something-K.

We can destroy a troll...

The pods have not yet dropped.

Midk.

Trantor still seeks another child.

That's it!

Authentic Bulgarian miak.

They're at the school. We've got to go.

Ow!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Look, kid, go inside

and find your mother

and stay with her.

And I don't want you to

leave her side for any reason.

- Do you understand me?

- Yes, sir.

All right.

There you go.

Tom...

Tom, have you seen Elizabeth?

Uh, no, I haven't.

Elizabeth?

Elizabeth?

Kiwi fruit, kiwi fruit!

Everybody loves it!

Kiwi fruit!

Kenny?

Kenny.

Tom and Bobby's own recipe.

Stir-fried sushi.

Good evening and welcome to

the Briarville Halloween gala.

Smile, smile.

Mrs. Johnson, have you seen Kenny?

No, I haven't, and we

really can't wait any longer.

Ernest's troll probably got him.

...the hottest band in Taylor County...

The Fun Box.

Come on, Rimshot.

Of all the people in the world, why him?

Look, you wanted to be in

the costume competition,

and this is the costume

you picked out at the store.

This thing looks silly.

And I'm not gonna wear it.

Don't you talk back to me.

Now, you march right in there.

I hate you!

Well, I'm not too fond of you either!

Mommy... I'm sorry.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Unconditional love.

That's the heart of a child.

Trolls! Trolls!

Save the kids! Trolls!

Tro...

Uh.

It's my privilege to welcome you

- to the costume competition...

- Run for your lives!

Trolls!

Ernest!

Will somebody get him out of here? Now!

Run for your lives!

Shh. Shh.

Run for your lives!

Shh. Shh.

Now, as your mayor,

it's my privilege to bring

you the costume competition.

And to start it off...

our first contestant is Rachel Benson

from Miss Johnson's fourth-grade class.

Rachel...

Eeeww, scary costume.

I know a dork when I see one.

Matt!

Matt! Matt!

Help! Help!

Help! Help!

Aaaahhh!

Please, I've got to find Ernest.

Please, I've got to find Ernest.

It's the end of the line

for you, shortchange.

Aloha, sayonara, el rancho grande.

You're history, pal. You're Elvis.

So, come on, crater

face, I'm ready for you.

Let's see how you like a little miak.

Miak?

Yeah, miak.

I bet you thought I couldn't

find any this time of year.

Well, I'm a little too

resourceful for you,

a little too light on my feet.

So, come on, eat miak and die...

Uuuhhhhhhh!

Rimshot, come back!

Ohhhh.

Wa-aaahhhh!

Ahhh!

Uh! Uh!

Huh?

Huh.

What happened?

Oh, Ernest, are you all right?

Yeah. Yeah.

When that thing saw

who it was fooling with,

it was drop back and punt,

regroup, troll trauma time.

Yeah, this guy is bad to the bone.

Ernest...

Rimshot.

Rimshot, old boy.

What am I gonna do?

He's all I got.

Don't worry, Ernest.

We'll find some way to beat this thing.

I'll tell you how we beat this thing...

I'll tell you how we do it...

my great-great-grandaddy

put him in that hole,

and so can I.

Somebody with a runny nose is gonna die.

Yeah! Go get him!

Mother's care... milk.

That's it... milk.

You're one dead troll,

you pint-sized,

sawed-off bucketmouth.

That thing's got my son.

We've got to kill it now! It's up to us!

Wait, what are you talking

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