Ernest Scared Stupid Page #4

with the heart of a child

and a mother's care. "

So...

we need a heart...

a child's heart!

You wouldn't really sacrifice

someone, would you, Ernest?

Yeah, that was pretty crazy.

Well, human sacrifice would

definitely be a last resort.

Now, traps is where it's at.

You see, Mr. Big, Bad, Short, and Ugly

will probably come

strolling through the woods

saying something like, "Oh,

I sure could use a rest,

"maybe catch a movie on the cable.

Think I'll check in

to this troll motel. "

And then we got him.

And with this alarm system,

the minute something steps in our trap,

the beeper will go off.

And endo trollo, comprendo?

Aaaaaaah!

Ahhhhhh!

Come on, I'll walk you to your house.

Hurry up, Kenny, we got work to do.

I still don't see why I

can't go with you guys.

Just leave the troll fighting to us.

I'll find my dad. He'll know what to do.

What about the party?

You stay here tonight.

Another soul.

Feed and grow strong, my little ones.

Thanks for the ride home, Ernest.

Okay, here's the plan...

Troll Fighter One... that's me...

will be roaming the

streets of Briarville

like a rabid dog... no offense...

whilst Troll Fighter

Two... that's you...

Um, Ernest, how about I just get my dad

and meet you at the tree?

Yeah, your dad might get mad

if we wrap this one up all by ourselves.

What's the matter, Kenny?

Did a troll make you wet your pants?

You're such a wimp, Binder.

Kenny, what is going on?

Nothing. I'm okay.

Where's dad?

Where have you been?

I-I was with Ernest

setting troll traps.

Kenny, you have no

business being with Ernest.

Mom, I got to find dad.

It's really important.

Kenny... Kenny, you come back here!

Bye-bye! Happy Halloween!

Be careful! Bye-bye! Take care!

Honey, you hardly touched

your dinner tonight.

Now, this is just Halloween.

It's supposed to be fun,

playing dress-up and

trick-or-treating.

But, mom, that little

doll looked just like Joey,

and Ernest said...

Honey, we have been through all this.

There are no such things as trolls.

Uh, mom... while you're in here,

could you check under the bed?

I thought I heard...

Stop acting like you're 2 years old.

There is nothing under the bed.

Now, put on your costume

and come on downstairs.

We're all going over to the

Halloween party together.

But, mom...

Elizabeth, don't be silly!

There's nothing under the bed.

There's nothing under the bed.

There's nothing under the bed.

Oh, Snuffies...

it's just you.

Aaaaaaah!

You know, Rimshot,

when it comes to catching trolls,

sometimes the old

ways are the good ways,

know what I mean?

You disguised as a yummy, little child,

will be the bait,

and this should put an

end, once and for all,

to the beast of Briarville.

You know, Rimshot...

you're a cute, little dog,

but you are one ugly little kid.

Okay, Rimshot, now, bring me the stick.

The stick, boy.

Bring me the stick!

Please, Rimshot,

I was just kidding about

that ugly thing, honest.

Rimshot!

Ow!

Wa-aaaaaaaaaah!

Well, Rimshot, it's time

to get our blood sugar

back up into the combat

range, you know what I mean?

This is serious. I

better use my C.B. voice.

Blue Leader, this is Troll Fighter.

Blue Leader, this is Troll Fighter.

Come on back, how 'bout you?

Roger, Troll Fighter.

This is Blue Leader.

Bobby, don't worry... safety first.

Get to work.

What's your 20, Troll

Fighter? Come on over.

We are en route to the big tree,

where we will be AWAC

at 2300 hours and some change.

Well, this is it, the big night,

the great confrontation between man...

that's us...

and the country-and-western

troll you're so fond of.

Trolls.

Right, Ernest, right.

Now, you stay alert.

You see anything, you give us a holler.

Over and out.

Come on, let's go.

Oh-oh-oh-ohhh!

You know, Jimmy, a

hungry lion hunts best,

but an army travels on its stomach,

know what I mean?

You going to the big party

over at the school, Ernest?

Nope, someone has to

stand vigil over the town,

stay at his post, row the boat,

be ever alert, floss between meals,

remain steadfast and truncated,

know what I mean?

Gosh, Jimmy, what's got into you?

Oh, oh, charades. I love

charades. Let's see, something big.

A-A big mouth?

Let's see, big.

Uh, big bill? big bird?

Big bill? Big beak? Big,

uh, uh, sounds like...

uh, two, two, "T"... tea for two?

"T"... two "T"? Tea for two?

Two for tea?

Desmond Tutu? Uh, two barrels?

Ah ha.

Boy, Jimmy, when you play

charades, you really play for keeps,

know what I mean?

Oh! Ah ha.

Hey, Greg, have you seen my dad?

No. Where's your costume?

We're supposed to be at school now.

Kenny.

Did you hear that?

Yeah, it... it sounded like Elizabeth.

Over here, Kenny.

Elizabeth?

Elizabeth, is that you?

Elizabeth?

She's not in...

Over here, Kenny.

You cannot escape.

It's time to join your little friends.

Faster, Kenny.

I'm catching up.

Hurry, Kenny. I'm right behind you.

She wouldn't leave through the window!

- Cliff, she didn't even want to go out!

- Joey never came home.

- Why aren't you doing something?

- We are doing something, all right?

My trash hasn't been picked

up in two days, Cliff.

I'm having houseguests!

Cliff, Cliff! Hush! Hush!

- Hush, hush, hush, hush, hush!

- What?!

- Cliff, have you seen Kenny?

- No, he's supposed to be with you.

No, he ran off to find you.

All right, listen, he's probably

already just gone to the school.

- I don't know where he went.

- Just go to the school and look for him.

I have houseguests coming, Cliff!

Listen! Listen!

They're probably already

over at the school.

Hey, kid, get out of the street!

And you in the costume, watch out!

Yeah, Rimshot,

we've got to stay focused tonight.

We've got to keep our senses

honed to a razor's edge,

know what I mean?

We are the thin line of defense

that lies between

victory and certain death,

and I guess you know

the one I'm hoping for.

Troll alert! Troll alert, Rimshot!

We got him! We got him!

We got old hockerhead himself!

We did it, Rimshot.

We got him.

Listen to him howl.

Yeah, but it's too late

for Mr. Big, Bad Troll.

You picked the wrong

guy to tangle with...

Squid Lips.

Dad, there really is a troll!

I saw it with my own eyes!

It was horrible!

It used Elizabeth's voice!

It turned Greg into a doll!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Listen, young

man, you are in big trouble.

You disobeyed your mother, and

now she's worried sick about you.

Cliff, it's my boys.

They're gone, vanished.

They were supposed to meet me

hours ago, and nobody's seen them.

Have no fear, Ernest P. Worrell is here.

And, sheriff, I captured that troll

that's been stealing all the children.

Ernest, what do you mean

you caught that troll?

Yes, with the aid of the most advanced

troll-fighting equipment

known to modern technology...

Shut up, Worrell!

Cliff, you got to get out

a search party for my boys.

Dad, Ernest and I set troll traps!

Listen to him! He's not lying!

Yeah, I've got him

right outside, sheriff.

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