Escape to Athena Page #2

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And blackmail is, huh?

Only if it succeeds.

Good night.

- Where's the tunnel, Professor?

- What?

Come on, someone's always digging

a tunnel for escape.

- Not here.

- That's a relief.

It's not such a terrible spot

to sit out the war.

No, and our Austrian commandant

feels the same way.

- What is it?

- That's about 200 BC,

it's a miniature of some household god.

Probably off a lady's bedside table.

How do you know that?

I come from a long line

of archaeologists.

You see, when the sun never set

on the Empire, we looted with impunity.

Treasure from Egypt, porcelain

from Peking, golden masks from Persia.

- Isn't that Hecht's racket?

- Oh, our commandant?

He used to be a dishonest

art dealer in Vienna...

...so he has to be more careful.

The ordinary finds do go to Berlin...

...but anything of real value

goes to his sister in Switzerland.

What else?

This looks like one you found yesterday.

Ha, yes, how clever of you.

They were made in sets of two,

husband and wife.

How come everything

is under the camp?

This was one beautiful

temple of Neptune...

...and people came

to leave valuable offerings.

Prisoner Dane...

- What happens if we run out of stuff?

- We won't. We take precautions.

Prisoner Dane, report

to the commandant's office.

Put him back to bed.

Now you see him, now you don't.

Very neat. So, tell me,

where's the real heavy stuff?

- Well, Charlie...

- You! Dane.

Major Hecht. Come.

If he could only stand up

by himself without relying on me.

Are you still here?

It's not a bad life. Got a match?

- I'm so sorry.

- Schwein!

- Hi, Frulein!

- Give 'em hell, baby.

Oh, beautiful woman, Sergeant.

Your mother?

- My wife.

- Ah, nice dainty quality about her.

You're a man of exceptional taste,

Sergeant. Exceptional taste.

- Charlie?

- Major.

Nice view.

Have you ever been to Hollywood?

I've played a few bits there.

Do you know... Ann Sheridan?

Do I know Ann Sheridan?

No.

Miss Sheridan is what they

call the... oomph girl, is she not?

All the time.

- What is "oomph"?

- "Oomph"?

It's the icing on the strudel, Major.

That, then, is the area I would

like to be discussing with you.

In the matter of Miss Delmar.

Your status here does not permit you

connubial privileges.

- So far.

- Consider it a closed door.

However, there is no reason

that we all must suffer.

Certainly not.

- Idle machinery rusts.

- Precisely.

Now, given the uncertainty

of your position here...

I thought you might need

a social director, you know...

...a bingo club, teach the tango,

put on shows - I do a fabulous Jolson.

You ain't heard nothin' yet!

You, er... You have my permission.

Terrific, you'll have

the grooviest camp in the mountains.

Now, er...

Back to the question of oomph.

- I thought that was going fine.

- On the surface, yes.

But, er... Uh-uh.

Oh. Well, it's hard

for some ladies to fake it.

Well, she could look upon it as, er...

...theatre.

I don't know, Major.

A jazz lover like you stooping to this.

The spoils of war, my friend.

Have the girls heard anything

about those two Americans?

No, what about them?

They may have been

planted by the Germans -

I'm waiting now

to hear from Allied intelligence.

We may have to kill them.

- Yes?

- It's Zoe.

If he's from the prison camp,

you take him.

- It's Braun.

- Braun.

- With or without his truck?

- With.

Don't get upset,

you don't have to be jealous of him...

- ...when he's with his truck.

- It's the truck that upsets me.

Hecht's got his girl

and he doesn't seem to mind at all.

He minds.

I don't trust him.

Telling bad jokes doesn't make

a man a collaborator.

It would be nice

if Dottie sang Lili Marlene.

You got it, babe.

- How's business?

- Berlin is satisfied.

Are you?

We've found some things

of historical interest.

You would not be here

if that's all there was to find.

I'm not sure that's a compliment.

Bubula, from me,

it's a compliment.

The real treasures are up there.

In a monastery on Mount Athena.

- Triptychs.

- Triptychs.

Icons, jewelled, carved in gold.

Byzantine masterpieces.

- And, of course, the plates.

- What plates?

Gold plates.

Two-headed eagles in bas-relief...

...commissioned by

Constantine VI in 790 AD.

Worth how much?

- 10 million.

- Marks?

- Swiss francs.

- But that's two...

- That's two million bucks!

- Yes.

And, when we win this war,

I will liberate those treasures.

You won't win this war.

Well, then I am quite sure

that you... will liberate them.

I enjoy your company... Bubula?

And I love you too, Otto.

Thanks for the airing - and the smoke.

Is that you, Otto?

Who else?

You.

Out.

Slowly.

Sergeant, I'm taking this Greek in

for a curfew violation.

- You drive.

- Sir.

- Get in the car.

- But I was just...

Get in the car!

Die Bremse ist kaputt.

Ich kann den Wagen nicht halten.

Herr Leutnant! Herr Leutnant!

Wir rennen ins Munitionslager.

Ich kann den Wagen nicht halten.

Did you ever make it with a German girl?

- No, not yet.

- Don't.

Charlie?

- Nous?

- You're in the club.

Smashing! I'll need two parking spaces,

a foursome on Sunday mornings...

...I'm a singles man on the course.

- Don't you ever give up?

- What do you want me to do?

Kill.

- So there is going to be a tunnel?

- No, Charlie.

We're gonna break in, not out.

I don't get it.

- We're going to take over the camp.

- Whose cockamamie idea is that?

The Greek Resistance.

If we live to take this camp over,

what will we do with it?

They'll let us know.

Now, here's the camp.

The explosives are there.

- And your job...

- I think I'll resign from this club.

I don't think you wanna do that.

- Wait a minute, Otto.

- It's Charlie.

Sorry.

You win a few, you lose a few,

you seem to be travelling first class.

Oh, come on, I'm just not a tragic figure.

I make do, you above all people

should understand that.

- Dig, dig, dig.

- I'm not attacking you.

It's the way we are,

that's why we're partners.

Well, hear this, partner.

We're joining the army.

- Is our army here?

- No, their army's here...

...we're gonna hit them

and take over the camp.

Oh, yeah? What will they

be doing in the meantime?

They'll be watching you strip.

We'll put on a show for them.

Oh, do I have to take

my clothes off for Germans?

Today Otto, tomorrow the world.

- Does anyone have to get hurt?

- Probably. So what?

Because Otto's been very good to us.

Well, maybe you should tell...

Tell him, give him

a little advanced notice.

- You wouldn't still be here without him.

- I'll keep it in mind.

What are you guys

going to do afterwards?

Climb to the monastery

and do a little select looting...

...before your friend gets it all.

Hm, that's my baby.

Hey. Charlie.

You want to kiss and make up?

How about just kiss?

You don't have to play

tough guy with me.

- Charlie?

- Yeah?

- Can you make it?

- How quickly they forget.

There's two million bucks up there.

For that kind of money

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