Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Page #8

STAN'S VOICE

So, Mary's coming over tonight.

Joel looks up.

INT. JOEL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Stan works the joystick. Patrick sits on the bed with Joel.

PATRICK:

Yeah?

STAN:

Just wanted to let you know.

PATRICK:

I like Mary. I like when she comes to

visit. I just don't think she likes me.

STAN:

She likes you okay.

PATRICK:

I wonder if I should invite my girlfriend

over, too. I have a girlfriend now.

STAN:

You can if you want.

PATRICK:

Did I tell you I have a new girlfriend?

STAN:

(re:
memory on monitor)

This one's history. Moving on...

PATRICK:

The thing is ... my situation is a little

weird. My girlfriend situation.

STAN:

Patrick, we need to focus.

Stan aims the joystick.

INT. JOEL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Joel distractedly reads a book, checks the clock, goes back

to the book. The door opens. He looks up. Clementine is

staggering in, drunk.

CLEMENTINE:

Yo ho ho!

JOEL:

It's three.

VOICE-OVER

Sh*t. The last time I saw you.

CLEMENTINE (CONT'D)

Anyhoo, sweetie, I done a bad thing. I

kinda sorta wrecked your car...

JOEL:

I can't believe you wrecked my car.

JOEL:

You're driving drunk. It's pathetic.

CLEMENTINE:

...a little. I was a little tipsy.

Don't call me pathetic.

JOEL:

Well it is pathetic. And f***ing

irresponsible. You could've killed

somebody.

The scene is starting to degrade. The acting becomes anemic.

JOEL (CONT'D)

I don't know, maybe you did kill

somebody.

CLEMENTINE:

Oh Christ I didn't kill anybody. It's

just a f***ing dent. You're like some

old lady or something.

VOICE-OVER

Right! She called me an old lady here,

too! And I remember, I said...

JOEL (CONT'D)

And what are you like? A wino?

CLEMENTINE:

A wino? Jesus, Are you from the fifties?

A wino!

(laughs)

Face it, Joel. You're freaked out

because I was out late without you, and

in your little wormy brain, you're trying

to figure out, did she f*** someone

tonight?

JOEL:

No, see, Clem, I assume you f***ed

someone tonight. Isn't that how you get

people to like you?

This shuts Clementine up. She is stung and she starts

gathering up her belongings, which are strewn about the

apartment. Joel is immediately sorry he said this. He

follows her around.

JOEL (CONT'D)

I'm sorry. Okay. I didn't mean that. I

just... I was just... pissed, I guess.

Clementine is out the door. Joel follows.

EXT. STREET - NIGHT

Joel looks at his dented car, looks at Clementine clomping

off in the distance.

INT. JOEL'S CAR - CONTINUOUS

Joel drives to catch up with Clementine. He rolls down his

window to talk to her.

JOEL:

Let me drive you home.

CLEMENTINE:

(without turning)

F*** you, Joel. F*ggot.

JOEL:

Look at it out here. It's falling apart.

I'm erasing you. And I'm happy.

She keeps clomping.

JOEL (CONT'D)

You did it to me. I can't believe you

did this to me. By morning you'll be

gone. Ha!

He stops the car, gets out.

EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS

It's a street you might see in a dream, more an impression of

a quiet street than an actual one, with what little detail

there is obscured in darkness. Joel wanders it. In the

distance Clementine walks off, but as in an animated loop,

she doesn't get any farther away. It's lonely.

PATRICK'S VOICE

See, remember that girl? The one we did

last week? The one with the potatoes?

Joel looks up, startled.

STAN'S VOICE

Yeah, that's this guy's girlfriend. Was.

INT. JOEL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Stan watches the screen. Patrick paces, fidgets, looks at

the unconscious Joel.

PATRICK:

I gotta tell you something. I kind of

fell in love with her last night.

STAN:

She was unconscious, Patrick.

PATRICK:

She was beautiful. So sweet and funky

and voluptuous. I kind of stole a pair

of her panties, is what.

STAN:

Jesus, Patrick!

EXT. STREET - NIGHT

On the vague street Joel listens to Patrick and Stan.

PATRICK'S VOICE

I know. It's not like... I mean, they

were clean and all.

STAN'S VOICE

Look, just don't tell me this stuff. I

don't want to know this sh*t.

PATRICK'S VOICE

Yeah, okay.

STAN'S VOICE

We have work to do.

There's a click and Joel finds himself in --

INT. JOEL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Joel and Clementine sit and eat dinner in front of the TV.

It's hard to make out what they're watching.

They sit on opposite ends of the couch. They look bored.

The scene quickly degenerates. The room fades.

PATRICK'S VOICE

Okay, but there's more.

Joel listens.

PATRICK'S VOICE (CONT'D)

After we did her, I went to where she

worked and I asked her out.

Joel looks over at the faded Clementine across the couch.

She stares straight ahead at the TV.

STAN'S VOICE

Patrick... do you know how unethical...

JOEL:

That must be the guy I saw you with.

VOICE-OVER

In the bookstore that night. The skinny

guy.

There's a click and Joel finds himself in --

INT. JOEL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Joel watches TV. Clementine walks by in her underwear, looks

at the TV. She slips into a skirt.

CLEMENTINE:

How can you watch this crap?

JOEL:

Where are you going?

CLEMENTINE:

I'm f***ing crawling out of my skin.

The scene starts to fade. Clementine puts on her shoes and

heads out the door.

EXT. ZOO - DAY

Joel and Clementine walk around unhappily. They barely look

at the animals. Clementine watches parents with babies.

JOEL:

Oh sh*t. I remember this.

(to Clementine)

Want to go?

CLEMENTINE:

(pissy)

I want to have a baby.

JOEL:

Let's talk about it later.

CLEMENTINE:

No. I want to have a baby. I have to

have a baby.

JOEL:

I don't think we're ready.

CLEMENTINE:

You're not ready.

JOEL:

Clementine, do you really think you could

take care of a kid?

She turns violently toward him, glaring.

CLEMENTINE:

What?!

JOEL:

(mumbly)

I don't want to talk about this here.

CLEMENTINE:

Joel, We're f***ing gonna talk about it!

Joel looks around. People are watching.

CLEMENTINE (CONT'D)

You can't f***ing say something like that

and say you don't want to talk about it!

JOEL:

Clem, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have --

CLEMENTINE:

(screaming now)

I'd make a f***ing good mother! I love

children! I'm creative and smart and I'd

make a f***ing good mother!

The scene starts to fade. Clementine's rant continues but

becomes attenuated and vague.

JOEL:

Oh, thank God. It's going.

CLEMENTINE:

It's you! It's you who can't commit to

anything! You have no idea how lucky you

are I'm interested in you! I don't even

know why I am! I should just end it

right here, Joel. Leave you in the zoo.

Maybe you could find a nice sloth to hang

out with!

She's crying now, but it's almost animatronic, no real

emotion in it. The scene is a husk.

JOEL:

It's going, Clementine. All the crap and

hurt and disappointment. It's all being

wiped away.

She looks up at him.

CLEMENTINE:

I'm glad.

Their eyes lock. She is fading before his eyes.

JOEL:

Me, too.

INT. BAR - NIGHT

It's noisy and crowded. Joel and Clementine sit at a small

table. She is drunk and staring off, blankly.

JOEL:

So, um --

CLEMENTINE:

(swiveling head toward him)

Would you get me another, Joely?

Joel sighs, stands, and heads to the crowded bar.

CLEMENTINE (CONT'D)

Thanky! Thanky!

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