EuroTrip

Congratulations,

Hudson High Class of 2004.

There she is. Fiona!

Bye.

- Hey.

- Hey!

- Hey, you.

- Congratulations, graduate.

- Thanks, baby.

And congratulations to you, Cooper.

Aww. Thanks, baby!

- Nice try.

- All right.

- See you at Wade's party tonight?

- See you then.

So, it's just you and me

for the entire summer.

Next year you graduate, join me

at college. Just like we planned.

- Scott, we need to talk.

- Yeah? About what?

About me dumping you.

Huh?

There he is!

The graduate

and his beautiful girlfriend. OK?

Smile, you two!

- Action!

- Dad, Mom, Grandma...

Uncle Moke... uh...

I'm gonna need a minute here, OK?

What do you mean,

you're dumping me?

I just can't take all the lying

and cheating on each other anymore.

What are you talking about?

Sweetie, I never cheated on you.

I know. That's what makes this so hard.

You're looking good, you guys.

Scotty, it's not you.

It's me.

There I go, lying again.

No, it was you.

You're just so...

...predictable.

- Smile!

So, that's it.

Here's your letter jacket back.

Goodbye.

This isn't mine.

She's a keeper, huh?

Oh, wow.

Oh, my God.

Fiona!

Let's see that again.

Fiona!

- This is just so brutal.

And yet I can't look away.

Bert, play it again. Come on.

- Fiona!

- Bert, get out of here.

OK.See you.

All right. Stay black, Bert.

"Fiona!"

Mail, motherf***er!

Hey, I got one from Mieke.

"Happy Herzlichen."

Still writing that guy?

I thought that was for German class.

Yeah at first, but we're

actually becoming good friends.

He's a really cool guy.

"Dear Mieke, greetings

from your American pen pal."

Scotty, Girl Scouts have pen pals.

Listen to yourself, all right?

You met a "cool guy" on the "internet."

This is how these sexual predators work.

Next thing you know,

he'll want to "arrange a meeting"

where he will gas you,

stuff you in the back of his van,

and make a wind chime

out of your genitals.

Come on, let's go to Wade's.

All right.

Screw it. Let's go.

I'm not gonna let Fiona

ruin my graduation night.

Auf wiedersehen, Mieke.

- What's up, losers?

- What's up, Jenny?

What's up, dude?

Sorry to hear about Fiona.

She's a whore.

That's very sweet of you.

Thanks.

Enough Fiona talk. Look around.

There's gotta be 100 drunk girls.

We should try to have sex

with every one of 'em.

Hello? Mixed company?

What?

- I'm a girl!

- No, you're not.

- You're just a cool guy with long hair.

- So, where's your evil twin brother?

Jenny!

There he is.

Hey, Jamie.

In fine form, I see.

Why'd you get me

gin and tonic?

- I hate gin.

- You do?

You guys are the worst twins ever!

Chug! Chug!

- When are you guys taking off?

- Tomorrow morning.

Hey, Wade!

Great party, buddy.

Man, I am so excited!

A whole summer,

backpacking around Europe.

You should've come with us instead of

working for Dr. Dad, Scotty!

It's gonna be so awesome!

Yeah. I planned every detail of the trip

to maximize the fun!

You brought a guidebook to a party?

- Do you wanna see my itinerary?

- Do you wanna see my balls?

You guys decide where

you're gonna go first?

Paris! I can't wait.

Two years ago Nicky Jager's sister,

Debbie, met a wealthy French guy,

and spent a month sailing

the Mediterranean on his yacht.

Isn't that the most romantic

thing you've ever heard?

Stuck on a boat with a weird French guy?

That sounds a little gay.

It's not gay. I'm a girl.

- Kinda gay.

- A little gay.

I gotta piss like a pregnant woman.

Hey, listen up, everybody.

Gotta a little special thing

I'd like to do tonight.

Going to play

a little song for you

about the nastiest, freakiest

little sex puppet I know...

Fiona.

This one's for you, baby.

Happy anniversary.

" Scotty doesn't know

That Fiona and me

" Do it in my van every Sunday

" She tells him she's in church

But she doesn't go

" Still she's on her knees

And Scotty doesn't know

" Oh, Scotty doesn't know

" So don't tell Scotty

Scotty doesn't know

" Scotty doesn't know "

I hope we're just as popular

in college as we were in high school.

- We will be.

- I know.

Who needs more Chablis?

- Candy, wanna come with?

- No, I'll stay here.

Well, there's your R-rating

right there.

- Whoops!

Holy cow!

Oh, this isn't where

I parked my car!

" I can't believe

He's so trusting

" While I'm right behind you thrusting

" 'Cause Scotty doesn't know

Scotty doesn't know "

Cooper Harris, you're a pig!

Uh... Candy, you should

clean that off before you go.

Clean what off?

You got a little something on you.

- Where?

- Right there.

It's like a smudge,

or something.

Where?

It's like dirt, or something.

Just go like this.

Is it off?

No, keep rubbing it.

" I did it with her on his birthday

" Scotty doesn't know

Scotty doesn't know

" Scotty doesn't know

Scotty doesn't know

" Don't tell Scotty

Scotty doesn't know "

Mmm-hmm... mmm-hmm...

No, it's just not coming off.

What is it?

Maybe tree sap or something.

Try pinching it.

No, it's just not coming off.

I'll tell you what.

Lick your fingers,

get some saliva going.

Like this?

Yeah.

Again, not enough saliva.

- Is it off yet?

- Fine, I'll do it.

Come here.

Oh, my God! Candy!

Cooper!

Hey...

This isn't where I parked my car.

" Scotty doesn't know

Hey.

Scotty doesn't know!

Scotty doesn't know!

This band rocks!

- Yeah!

Mail, motherf***er!

Hey, Mieke.

"Dear Scott,

"I was very sad to hear about

your lady woman Fiona dumping you.

"Since you no longer have a girlfriend,

maybe I could come to America

"and we could get to know each

other better. Perhaps we could...

"zussamen."

What the f*** is "zussamen"?

"Arrange a meeting."

No, no, no! Come on!

Cooper was right.

This guy wants to have sex with me.

"Listen, Mieke...

"I don't want to arrange

any meetings with you,

"you sick, German freak.

"So please keep your hands

off my genitals,

"and never write to me again,

and don't come to America."

"Goodbye."

Oww.

I'm never drinking again.

Oh, that's nice.

Bert, what are you doing?

Reading your email.

Don't do that.

Why are you wearing my bathrobe?

Oh, I'm sorry...

but somebody pissed

all over mine last night.

Wow. I can't believe this German chick

wants to come here and hook up with you.

I don't think so, buddy.

Mieke's a guy.

No, it says right here,

"trauriges madchen."

"I was a sad girl to hear about Fiona."

F***in' A, Scott.

I'm taking "Intro to German,"

and even I know that.

Come here.

He sent me a picture, retardo.

See? That's a picture of Mieke

and his cute cousin, Jan.

No, retardo.

That's Jan, a man's name,

and that's not "Mike,"

it's "Mieke," a common

German girl's name,

similar to our Michelle.

I hope you wrote her back

and told her to come visit.

You didn't?

You thought she was a guy!

I'm getting the video camera! Ha!

What an a**hole!

No.

No.

No!!

"Address blocked"?

"Email not delivered."

No... come on!

Hey, Mom made waffles.

- What's going on?

- I'm in love with my penpal.

I'm in love with Mieke.

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