Evan Almighty Page #2

Go find out where his license plates are:

Everybody else, back to your holes:

He was actually right:

I'm doing a background check on that kid:

Ta-da! This, my friend, is a power office,

to remind you of the mission!

"Change the world!"

Okay, Evan, who do you know?

What do you mean?

Oh, come on:

Yesterday we're in the basement:

Today, look at this place:

It's like the Emerald City!

"Enjoy your office:

Your neighbor, Congressman Long:"

Congressman Long did this?

Did you say "neighbor"?

That's right:
He lives in Prestige Crest,

right up the street:

Evan, you got to tell me these things:

Think of the publicity angle on this!

You and Congressman Long

having a barbecue:

Congressman Long eating your hot dog:

RITA:
Hate to break up

your little weenie roast:

Congressman Long's assistant

just dropped this off:

The Congressman would like for you

to junior cosponsor this bill

that he's introducing:

Hold on:
Congressman Long asked us to

junior cosponsor his bill? What's the bill?

The Citizens' Integration of Public Lands Act:

Never heard of it: Gene, here, now:

Rita, why didn't you tell me about this?

I just did:

You need to tell me about it

before I need to know about it:

Marty, you are not the vice congressman:

I am the legislative:::

Nobody voted for you: If Evan gets shot

in the head, you do not automatically:::

If Evan got shot in the head,

you're the first suspect:

Play nice:
Play nice:

All right, Eugene, Congressman Long's bill:

What is it?

HR7124, better known as CINPLAN:

The bill would open up fringe areas

of the national parks for development:

Long's been sitting on it for ages:::

Got it:
Pause: Come on, Evan, this is huge:

You hitch your wagon to the right star,

you could ride all the way down

to Pennsylvania Avenue:

This is day one:

You got your name on a major piece

of legislation!

Oh, and another thing,

he wants you to read it today:

Well, I can't do it today:

I promised my kids:::

Eugene:

Well, sir, there's a time clock on the bill:

If Congressman Long wants to

pass it this quarter,

he's going to have to introduce it

to the committee immediately:

I'm personally going with whatever

Congressman Baxter decides,

because if I could be like one man,

it'd be him:

Either him or Kareem:

Can I tase him?

Gene! Heel!

It'd probably be you:

Come on, Evan, this is it!

This is why we came here!

It's world-changing time!

Hey, anybody home?

Come on:
We're in here!

Hey, guys:

Dad, guess what? I got all your stuff

packed up so that we can:::

What's wrong?

We're not going, are we?

First things first:

I have been asked to junior cosponsor a bill:

Yeah:

See? I told you:
And you owe me five bucks:

Whoa, whoa, guys:

Hey:
Hey, we said we would

have to make sacrifices, right?

Yeah:
Whatever:

New house, same old dad:

Hey, I'm the one who has to read this thing!

Hey:
Did you hear?

Junior cosponsor of a bill:

Okay, Ry, let's clean all this stuff up:

Dad's got work to do:

No:
It's 6:14:

Of course:
Voodoo clock speaks again:

What the:
::

Hey! Hey! Hey! No: Okay:

Whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa! What's going on?

I got a delivery for Evan Baxter!

Yeah, that's not mine: I didn't order that!

I just deliver, guy, huh?

You got a complaint, call the number!

No! Hey! Listen! We are 416, not 614!

You've got the wrong house!

You can't leave that there!

Listen! Listen!

That's going to leave a brown patch!

I am a U:
S: congressman!

Dad, what are you doing? I'm watching this:

Genesis 6:
14:

Gen 6:
14:

Joan! Do we have a Bible anywhere?

Genesis 6:
14:

"Make thee an ark of gopherwood:::"

Gopherwood:

"Go-four-wood:
" Get it?

Well, it's not really gopherwood:

I just like the wordplay:

No, it's pine and maple:

It was clear-cut from this valley

to make room for all those houses:

Excuse me:
Do I know you?

Not as well as I'd like:

I see you got my housewarming gift:

That was you? You sent those?

What are they for? Hey! Hey:

Genesis, chapter six, verse fourteen:

I want you to build an ark:

You want me to build an ark:

Yes:

So that's why the tools:

And you are responsible for the wood?

All right:
Well, let's just start over:

Hello, I am Evan:::

Evan Baxter:
Born June 15, 1962:

Eight pounds, 11 ounces:

Mother's Carroll Ann Parker:

Father, Eugene Evan Baxter:

You have internet access: Very impressive:

Do you also have cable?

You're a clean freak: You care much

too much about your outward appearance:

Your left nipple is a quarter inch higher

than your right nipple:

And when you were a little boy,

you were afraid of Gumby:

Who are you?

I'm God:

You're God?

Yes:
And I want you, Evan Baxter,

to build an ark:

Okay:
You know what? This conversation

is a little thing I like to call over!

But I got to get going,

because, frankly, I have an ark to build:

Busy, busy, busy, busy: Nice meeting you:

Take care:
Oh, and:::

All right, see you later!

Shake it off, Evan: It's over:

The nutcase is gone:

I am successful, I'm powerful,

I'm handsome, I'm happy:

Successful, powerful, handsome, happy:

Get it out, son:
It's the beginning of wisdom:

How did you get in here?

I'm calling the cops:

Oh, no:
No need! Look! Look:

There's one right there: Right there:

Officer! Officer! Officer! Carjacker!

Carjacker in the car! Carjacker in the car!

Careful pulling out:

Pedestrian in the crosswalk:

Shake it off, shake it off!

Shake it off, shake it off!

Good morning, chief!

Good morning, Rita:

You almost scared me to death!

What's wrong with you?

Nothing:
Just sort of a weird ride in:

Weird how?

It was just a weird ride in:

Okay, well, thanks for clarifying:

Here's your mail and your schedule:

Okay:

And they finally fixed the phones:

My new extension is 614:

614:

Yeah:
614?

Right:

You want me to write that down?

I'd rather you didn't:

Good morning:

Hey, Long came through with that seat

on the House Resource Committee:

You stuck in your thumb

and pulled out a plum, my friend:

Also, the new Congressional plates

just came in:

Gene, plates, now:

And Alex at the Buffalo office had her baby:

Boy or girl?

A little boy:
And here he is:

Just as cute as a button: Not bad

for such an ugly woman: Weighed in at:::

Six pounds, 14 ounces:

How'd you know that?

Lucky guess:

Hot, hot, hot! Hot off the press!

It's a joke:
Here are your plates, sir:

Those are rock-star plates, man:

You can park anywhere:

You can't be sitting in a chair:

You've got a committee meeting

in five minutes:

Come on, BMIC, Big Man in Congress:

Evan Baxter, the shark on the move:

House Resources Committee

is now in order:

The Chair recognizes the congresswoman

from Tennessee

to lead the Pledge of Allegiance:

I pledge allegiance to the flag:::

I pledge allegiance to the flag

of the United States of America

and to the Republic, for which it stands:::

:::one nation, under me:::

:::one nation, under God:::

::indivisible,

with liberty and justice for all:

How long do you want to do this, son?

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