Evan Almighty Page #7

Synopsis: Buffalo newsman Evan Baxter is elected to Congress with the slogan, "Change the world." He lucks into a huge house in a new Virginia suburb. His Capitol office is also fantastic, but there's a catch: he's tapped by the powerful Congressman Long to co-sponsor a bill to allow development in national parks. In steps God, who appears to a disbelieving Evan and gently commands him to build an ark. Tools and wood arrive in Evan's yard, animal pairs follow, his beard and hair grow wildly, nomad's clothes and a staff appear. Long grows impatient, Evan starts building, his family leaves him, reporters gather, and drought grips D.C. Still, Evan believes. But will he change the world?
Director(s): Tom Shadyac
Production: Universal Pictures
  2 wins & 11 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.4
Metacritic:
37
Rotten Tomatoes:
23%
PG
Year:
2007
96 min
$100,289,690
Website
2,344 Views


You know, voters don't respond

to the gloom and doom stuff:

They like a more positive message:

Like the one you're sending with your bill?

How much did you make off of all this land?

You are destroying

our national parks for profit:

You have a problem with somebody

taking a little profit?

It's called business, son:

So if I need to get a message out there,

or get a congressman elected

there are people who pay for it, and yes,

those people want this bill to happen

and, by God, it's gonna happen:

Now you look down there:

Those are the wolves, son:

I'm gonna give you one last chance:

Take down this boat:

I'm giving you one last chance: Repent:

Such a shame:
You had possibilities:

But you want to stop progress

to save the Earth: Go for it:

Good luck getting a tree

to come to the polls:

Take it down:

This is a court order approving

the demolition of this boat!

Evacuate immediately!

You have three minutes!

Honey:
We have to go:

They're going to destroy the boat:

No:

It can't end this way:

Is it too much to ask

for a little precipitation?

Honey, maybe God didn't mean

a literal flood:

Maybe he meant a flood of knowledge

or emotion or awareness:

If that's true,

I am going to be so pissed:

Two minutes!

Get off the boat now

or you will be removed by force:

Evan, you did it: You built the ark:

That's all you were asked to do, right?

No:

There's something else:

Something's going to happen: I can feel it:

Yeah, what's gonna happen is

tear gas and a wrecking ball:

Evan, think of the kids:

One minute!

Dad, whatever you say, I'm with you:

Yeah, me, too:

Me, too:
But can we keep

some of the animals?

I like the alpaca: He spits:

You're right:
We did it: We built the boat:

Yeah:

Let's go:
Let's go, guys: Come on:

Well, I guess they don't want to go:

It's their instinct:

What do you mean, hon?

Some animals know when weather's coming:

When they feel it coming, they sit:

Joan!

Okay:
Time's up! We're coming in!

Get that ball in position!

We're clearing them out!

Is that rain?

It's raining:

Lucky guess, Baxter: Lucky guess:

Looks like the drought's finally over:

Good news, eh, Congressman?

Yeah:
Good news:

Everybody! Please! Get on the ark!

Go to the car!

Please! Everyone! On the ark!

Cover me up! Keep me dry!

Cover me up! Keep me dry!

Who's crazy now, huh?

Look at us all squishing!

It kind of stopped raining:

Is that it?

What did I tell you? It's fine: It's over:

Hey, Ahab! This is it?

Your God experiencing

a little water shortage?

It would appear Evan Baxter

was right about the rain,

with a slight miscalculation

as to the quantity:

Something's wrong:

Honey, the clouds are moving away:

No, no:
No, this isn't right:

Evan, even if it kept raining,

it's not like it could cause a flood in a day:

But today is the day! It has to be:

This just doesn't make any sense!

Wait a second:

What is it?

Marty said that Long cut corners,

violated building codes:

What are you talking about?

The lake, Long Lake:

It's named after him:

It's the lake! It's the lake!

Oh, no:

Get on the ark! Everyone, on the ark now!

I think we should get on the ark:

I agree:
I think we should get on the ark also:

I'm cold:
I'm wet: I'm going home:

Ladies first! Move!

Oh, my God:
This is happening:

This is really happening:

Holy:
:: Get everyone on the ark now!

Get on the ark now! Let's go!

Get on the ark! Let's go!

Go, go, go! Get on the ark!

Go, go, go! On the ark! Go, go, go!

All right, boys! Let's go! Let's go!

We're gonna need a bigger boat:

Stay here with the kids:

Come on, Rita!

Everyone, up the ramp! Onto the deck!

Come on! Hurry, hurry, hurry!

Dylan, get back inside! It's too dangerous:

No, Dad:
I told you, I'm with you:

Careful, everyone:

In the ark! In the ark!

Watch your step! Up the ramp, everybody!

Guys, help me with the door!

Get the door! Get the door!

Guys! Guys!

Everybody hang on!

You guys all right? You okay?

:

There's been a flood at Prestige Crest

and you're seeing live images

of New York Noah's ark

caught in the storm surge

and heading towards Memorial Bridge!

We're going to crash!

Turn this thing around!

We're not gonna make it!

Save us, Baxter!

I command thee halt! Stop! Whoa!

It's not working!

How about a little help here?

What do you mean there was water damage?

It rained for ten minutes:

That is not possible:

I love you guys:

All right:

Seriously:

Okay, I got it:

I love you:

Thank you:

All those in favor of the Public Land

Act, please signify by saying, "Aye:"

Good God!

I think we can walk from here:

Hello, Congressman:

Mind if I park my boat here for a little while?

But how:
::

The dam, Congressman:

Your reservoir ruptured:

Prestige Crest, it's all gone:

No:
They said that couldn't happen:

I never thought this:::

You:
You did this to me:

You set me up, you crazy son of a:::

Wow:
That is disgusting:

If that comes out your front,

I don't even want to know

what's coming out the back:

Don't look down, Congressman,

but the wolves are here,

although I wouldn't worry so much

about these wolves as those:

Gesundheit:

: As you can see behind me,

New York Noah's prediction came true:

: The vote of the Land Act Bill

has been suspended,

pending investigation of Congressman Long

for profiteering:::

Of course now, the question is,

how will these animals be returned

to their natural habitats?

Something tells me, if God got them here,

he can probably get them home:

: The House will undoubtedly

reinstate Congressman Baxter

when it reconvenes in the morning:

Until then, there is a lot to be done

here on Capitol Hill:

How's Buster doing?

Come on, Buster:

No, come on:
Come on!

Come on!

These too heavy? It's all right?

No, it's fine:

He can't keep up:

I know, sweetie!

All right:
What do you say

we take a little break?

We've only been walking

for, like, five minutes, Dad:

Well, five on, five off:

Life is about balance, right?

How about some sandwiches?

Okay:

Who wants sandwiches? Let's do it!

I get first dibs!

Everyone but Buster

is going to get a sandwich:

You do not get a sandwich! You're a dog

and you do not get a sandwich!

Buster is part of the family now:

You're just gonna have to get used to it:

Poor Buster!

Honey, come here:

Sweetheart, be careful: Come here:

Hey, hon, save me one, okay?

Okay:

I'll be right back:

Hey:

Hey:

What are you doing here?

Just hanging out with some old friends:

You knew all along, didn't you?

You knew the dam was unstable:

If it hadn't been for the ark,

my family, the neighbors:::

I fought you every step of the way:

Yes, but you did it:

So, you had nothing to do with the flood?

Like where the ark landed exactly?

I gave you a little shove at the end: Sue me:

You did good, son: You changed the world:

No, no, I didn't:

Well, let's see:

Spending time with your family,

making them very happy:

Gave that dog a home:

Right:
So?

So?

How do we change the world?

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Steve Oedekerk

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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