Evan Almighty Page #6

Baxter's change of appearance?

Yes, his hair is long:

Yes, his beard is unshaven:

Are you equally stunned

by this man's appearance?

The way things go around here,

if he gets any crazier,

we may end up in the White House:

Hey! No, no, no! That's my cup!

Whatever:

He's filling the boat with

two of every kind of animal:

Still to be collected,

two giraffes, two elephants

and one more jackass:

What an idiot:

He's a mook:

Jerks:

Don't worry about it, you guys:

Come on, eat up:

Not hungry:

Yeah, me neither:

You guys can't eat: I can't stop:

Can I go to the bathroom?

Me, too?

Okay:
Dylan, go with them: Please?

Fine:

Excuse me:
Can I get a refill, please?

Coming right up:

Thank you:

Excuse me:
Are you all right?

Yeah:

No:
It's a long story:

Well, I like stories:

I'm considered a bit of a storyteller myself:

My husband:
::

Have you heard of "New York's Noah"?

The guy who's building the ark:

That's him:

I love that story, Noah and the Ark:

You know, a lot of people miss

the point of that story:

They think it's about God's wrath and anger:

They love it when God gets angry:

What is the story about, then? The ark?

Well, I think it's a love story

about believing in each other:

You know, the animals showed up in pairs:

They stood by each other, side by side,

just like Noah and his family:

Everybody entered the ark side by side:

But my husband says God told him to do it:

What do you do with that?

Sounds like an opportunity:

Let me ask you something:

If someone prays for patience,

you think God gives them patience?

Or does he give them

the opportunity to be patient?

If they pray for courage,

does God give them courage,

or does he give them opportunities

to be courageous?

If someone prayed

for their family to be closer,

you think God zaps them

with warm, fuzzy feelings?

Or does he give them opportunities

to love each other?

Well, I got to run:

A lot of people to serve: Enjoy:

: Guess this comes as no surprise to

those who remember his campaign promise,

"I will lower taxes,

"go crazy and build a gigantic ark: "

Oh, my gosh:

Evan!

Dad?

Honey!

Dad?

You guys, I'm up here:

Rough week?

You look really funny:

You look really old:

Yeah, well, he is really old:

Why'd you come back?

It was the kids:

Tell him, guys:

We like you better as the crazy guy:

You spend time with us

and you're home a lot more:

Just, please don't make us do

the dance anymore:

I don't know what's going on,

or what you're going through,

but we got into this as a family

and we're gonna get out of it as a family,

side by side:

But, Evan, we have to talk about the ark:

It has to come down:

I can't do that:

You don't have a choice:

Congressman Long went to the city:

There's a laundry list of code violations:

You have until September 22

to take it down,

or they'll take it down and arrest you:

September 22:
That's the day of the flood:

Mom! Dad! Come here!

Don't you dare take that ark down:

How are we gonna do this?

There's no way the five

of us can finish on time:

We don't have money to hire anybody else:

Is that a llama with a hammer?

An alpaca:
They rarely spit at people

unless frightened or abused:

Let's finish this sucker:

Come on, let's go:

: No one knows

where they came from

or how the congressman

is getting them to do it,

but, two by two, animals of all kinds

are working with Godspeed to build this ark:

Thank you:

If this flood really does happen,

"Evan help us:
"

Hey! A little help?

Thanks:

Here it is, hon:

Perfect:
Thanks:

Hold it right there:

This is Ed Carson coming to you

live from New York Noah's construction site,

where we are unable to leave the news van

due to hazardous conditions outside:

High five:

High five:

Good job:

Hey, putty tat:

Go, go, go! He tried to eat me!

Dylan! Jordan! Check it out!

Your mom's building an ark!

Let's do the dance:

No, please, no:

Well, where did

the animals come from, then?

Please:
It's a trick:

It's a circus is what it is:

Wild animals running amok

in suburban Virginia:

With all these species,

what's being done about the feces?

Evan Baxter! You have gone from newsman

to congressman to caveman:

What makes you so sure God chose you?

He chose all of us:

Time to wash up, you guys:

Thanks:

You want some?

RITA:
Why couldn't the man

just buy a Corvette?

Well, well, well: There they are:

It is good to see you guys:

It's good to see you! Your hair looks great:

It's very regal:
Man, I love your hair!

And you're still sucking up:

So, why are you here?

Long locked us out:

He can't do that:

I mean, I've been suspended,

but I'm still a congressman:

Rita, tell him what you know:

Tell me what?

I smelled a rat the second we got that office:

You don't get an office

like that for nothing:

So I had the stalker here do some research:

Okay, Eugene, talk:

Prestige Crest used to be federal lands,

but what's interesting is

how it got into private hands:

Congressman Long got the approval

to build a dam

and then passed out the surrounding lands

to a group of private investors:

Now, the locals fought this thing for years:

They said Long and his developer buddies

were cutting corners,

like skipping important

building code checkpoints:

And with the land use bill, he's gonna do

the same thing with the national parks:

So, you stand by and shake your pom-poms

while Long and his buddies get rich:

What can we do? I'm suspended:

Go back to the Hill and show them

that you can and will fight this bill:

You guys, I'm sorry: I can't do that:

I have to get back to the ark:

The ark? All right: Okay:

God told you to build an ark?

Yes:

But did he tell you to make your friends

believe in you and follow you here

so you can make us look stupid?

'Cause I go to church every Sunday:

Okay, every other Sunday:

I've been to church!

And that does not sound like God to me:

Rita, I know that this

doesn't make any sense:

I just want you to trust me:

You just have to have faith:

Evan, faith will not fight this bill:

The CINPLAN vote is today!

If we're going to stop this thing,

you need to get down to Capitol Hill now!

Otherwise, it's impossible!

Dad, Dad, I think it's done:

What in the world?

I can't even get my cat to use the litter box:

It's September 22, and we're all still here:

Awkward!

People! The flood is imminent!

Board the ark! Save yourselves!

Get down, you fool!

Listen to me! The time has come!

No, Captain Ahab! Your time has come!

Yeah, Baxter! The weather's 70 and sunny

with a chance of crazy!

Do you hear that? The rains are upon us!

Dad, I don't think that's the rains:

Hey, Baxter! Kiss your ark goodbye!

Where is he?

On the boat, sir:

Give me a minute:

Lets see if I can convince "Noah"

that the world doesn't have to end today:

I gotta hand it to you,

this is quite the show:

According to my source,

the show hasn't even started yet:

Still expecting the big flood:

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