Evan Almighty Page #5

This is perfect:

Dad, there's a note:

Let me see that:

How does it work?

Dad, this is really weird:

Repeat after me, "We are hamsters!"

We are hamsters!

Leg power!

Leg power!

And it's in!

That's it:

Hey, who has opposable thumbs? Anybody?

You want to try this one?

Make sure it's straight:

This is awesome!

This is so cool:

Here we go:

Oh, my God!

Yeah:
Gotta do the dance:

Come on, let's do the dance:

We're doing the dance:

Dylan, come on:
Do the dance:

Come on, do the dance:

I'm not doing the dance:

Ow!

Don't scratch!

Stop it:
Come here:

Insult to injury! My!

Good boy:

Okay, guys:
A little bit more:

Here we go:
I got it: Keep it::: That's it!

Beautiful!

You guys all right?

Yup:

"

Mmm, mmm, mmm:

Well, I hope this isn't our last supper:

There's no sign of our heat wave breaking,

so this dry, hot weather will continue:

: Until September 22, midday:

If the ark isn't finished by then, you will be:

Is that when it's going to happen?

September 22, midday?

: High temperatures tomorrow

back into the 90s everywhere,

right on through Tuesday

and the next seven days,

no showers, no storms:

That would be a good day to have chicken:

How about Mom's chicken? Huh?

Hon, could we have some more chicken

September 22, midday?

Boys, will you excuse us, please?

Your father and I need to have a little talk:

Busted:

Dad, you're busted:

Yeah, I know:

What are you doing?

Do we have anything unleavened?

Yeah, we do, it's in the back,

next to the frankincense and myrrh:

We have a fancy name for it in this century,

it's called pita:

Got it:

Evan, what is happening to you?

Don't! No! Just put it down! Look at you:

The hair:
Are you on something?

Is it a mega-growth hormone? What?

Evan, talk to me:

I'm building an ark:

What does that mean?

God appeared to me

and told me to build an ark:

He said there was going to be a flood

and that I should be prepared:

Whenever I shave,

my beard grows right back out:

My hair grows longer every day:

This robe:
:: God sent me the robe:

He thought it would be funny:

I actually think it's really comfortable:

That's why I'm wearing it:

The beard, the robe:

You're Noah?

Yeah, kind of:

Mom!

Not now, Noah!

Dylan:

Okay:

We left everything behind to come here:

Maybe that's put too much pressure on you:

I don't know:

But this has got to stop:

Please:
You're scaring me:

The boys need their father back,

and I need my husband back:

Yes:
Successful: Powerful:

Handsome:
Happy:

Successful:
Powerful: Handsome: Happy:

Good morning!

Cold today, huh?

Hmm?

"Back to work"?

Okay:
All right: You want me

to wear the robe? I'll wear the robe:

Two can play this game:

Ha, ha, ha!

Pice de rsistance:

The student has become the teacher:

This meeting will come to order:

Rita, any sign of him?

Marty, I told you,

I will let you know as soon as:::

You know what? You got me: He's here:

We're in the middle of a yoga class:

Rita, this is no time for jokes:

I'm not kidding:

If he's not in that meeting,

we're all out of a job:

Wait a minute:

Let me finish my sun salutation:

Marty! Sorry I'm late: Come on, let's go:

What is that?

Making lemonade out of lemons:

Pick up your phone! Come on!

At its heart,

this bill gives private citizens access

to lands they technically already own:

Will the Chairman yield?

Oh, look, there he is:

Yup, yup, I see him:

Access is just a word you're using

to hide what's really going on here:

This is about development,

short and simple:

Evan, what are you doing?

You have a pony tail on your face!

What you gonna do next?

Cornrow your eyebrows?

Development means

the advancement of jobs,

an increase in domestic commerce:

If you happen to like those things,

I invite you to join myself and

my cosponsors, Congressman Dodd,

Congressman Hughes

and Congressman Baxter:

Did you just do a wardrobe change?

What do you think this is, the Oscars?

You are not Whoopi:

Ladies and gentlemen! Please!

Please! Congressman Baxter has a tendency

to embrace the theatrical

in his support of this bill:

Congressman, let me warn you,

you are approximately 10 seconds away

from committee censure:

Oh, no:
Hey, would anyone mind

if I close the window?

Ladies and gentlemen! Please!

These animals are trained!

I've seen this circus act before!

Congressman, I'm sure St: Francis

would be envious:

We, however, are not:

You have five seconds:

You march yourself and your

little animal troupe out of here now

or you will be forcibly removed:

I'm afraid I can't do that, sir:

Congressman!

These animals are not trained:

Congressman!

I think they want me to save them!

Save them from what, Congressman?

Saving the animals, okay:

I can roll with that: That's a good idea:

The flood:

A flood? Rolling out:

The flood:

This has been the hottest,

driest summer on record

and you say we're going to have a flood?

When might we expect this?

September 22, midday:

That's what I was told:

Might I ask who told you?

Not in front of all those people:

Don't say it:
Don't say it:

God:

God? You talk to God?

Yes:

And God is talking back?

Yeah:
We hung out a little:

Well, time to update the rsum:

Congressman, your name is being

removed from this bill:

Obviously, the stresses of this office

have proven too much for you:

Please have the congressman removed:

No:
Please! You don't understand!

God commanded me to build an ark!

It's going to rain!

There's going to be a flood!

Remove him now!

We have to prepare ourselves!

I need to finish the ark!

Remove him now!

Does this mean we're moving back home?

Home, Canada:
One or the other:

Joan? I know you probably saw

what happened, but I can explain:

Take the stuff to the car, guys:

I'll be there in a minute:

Guys?

I'm gonna take them to my mother's:

Evan, I think you need help:

Joan, please:
I'm not doing this:

It's not me:
It's him:

I went to that meeting in a suit,

and he took it off of me:

Those animals are following me

because of him:

God? Does God know

he's destroying our lives?

Does God know he's going to get you fired?

Yeah! He's trying to get me fired!

He is trying to get me fired!

That way I'll have more time

to work on the ark!

Because the rain and the floods are coming:

No, I heard you, Evan:

The whole world heard you:

Joan, please, you gotta believe me:

There it is! It's happening!

It's happening! It's raining!

Goodbye, Evan:

Joan!

I know! I know:
Whatever you do,

you do because you love me!

Do me a favor:
Love me less:

Congressman!

Are you concerned at all

about Congressman Baxter's tirade

and the adverse effects

it may have on your bill?

The day it rains and floods and

Congressman Baxter takes a ride on his ark,

that'll be the day

I'll be concerned: Thank you:

His name is Evan Baxter,

but now he goes by "New York's Noah,"

"Heaven's Evan,"

"The Weirdo with a Beardo:"

Okay, guys:
Watch it: Watch it:

Coming through:
Watch your back:

Marty, will you comment on Congressman

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