Every Blessed Day

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EVERY BLESSED DAY

Good morning.

Did you take the opportunity

to enjoy our fresh delicacies?

Are you asking if we

took anything from the minibar?

Yes.

Where did you learn this lovely

antiquated German? Guido?

Perhaps from "Liber Evangeliorum"

by Otfrid von Weissenburg.

Never mind.

If you didn't make use

of the minibar,

we wish you a pleasant journey.

- Thanks.

- You're welcome.

Goodbye!

I caught you flirting

with those blondes!

Truth be told,

I was doing their checkout.

"Truth be told", get out of here!

- "Truth be told"! Who says that?

- Enjoy your shift, Rossella.

- Thanks, good night.

- Good night.

Hold on!

Open up, please? Thanks.

- Hey, Guido!

- Morning, Marcello.

Bed time?

Don't forget Sunday the 29th.

Patrizia told your lady already.

- Right.

- Go get some sleep.

Thursday, October 2nd,

St. Leodegar of Autun.

Bishop and martyr

under Theodoric the Third,

who battled Manichean heresy

but was tortured, blinded,

and killed.

Good morning.

- Me first!

- No, together! Wait for me.

Wait! Give me a kiss.

- I think I f***ed up.

- Why? When?

My cousin called me yesterday

and being the dumb-ass that I am,

I told her that we were...

- That we're trying.

- Why are you a dumb-ass?

Because that moron

told my blockhead sister,

who told my idiotic mom,

who obviously told my half-wit dad.

Come on, they can't be that bad.

They're monsters who criticize us

for not being married.

- Then let's get married.

- You have no idea.

They'd expect

a "Godfather" style wedding.

- Cool!

- Hell no!

They take out a mortgage

to plan weddings there.

- They want to visit us now.

- I'll finally meet them!

No, please!

Out of the question.

Last time I visited,

I was arguing with my folks

the second I got there.

I hate that place,

I hate those people.

Here, I'll help you.

For f***'s sake, I'm late!

- I'll take the scooter.

- No, it's too cold and dangerous.

You're such a drag.

Go to sleep, will you?

Piss off!

We're waiting for some personnel...

excuse me.

- Antonia...

- I'm here.

Can you make an effort

to be here on time, please?

Put on your ID card.

It's not my fault the bus

broke down.

And your scarf, thanks.

I'll put this over here,

with your lame bus excuse.

That d*ckhead

is always busting my balls.

Just take it easy.

Next, please?

Good morning.

Did you book? Name?

- Right on, Marcello!

- Sausages!

Here, Gorilla!

You need to grow. You don't,

or your wheelchair will break.

Quit eating.

Are we opening up the gifts?

Look at all this!

Who is this from?

- Us, just a little gift.

- How sweet, thanks.

Isn't this great?

Picture cards too'?

Say thanks to Antonia and Guido.

Thanks!

Hold on sweetie, open the next gift.

What's in here?

It's from me, grandma Lucia,

and aunt Sabrina.

Coming!

Aunt Sabrina is here,

let's open it up now.

No way, I don't believe it!

Really?

This is like amazing,

you shouldn't have!

It's got her name on it.

Damn you're dense,

this isn't how it's spelled!

On her birth certificate

it says Miscl Caiozzi.

Your son messed up at town hall.

- It's with a "ch", you imbecile!

- Hell no...

- Show them what it says here!

- Not again, stop!

"Michele".

Who's this Michele guy, my cousin?

It's with "sch",

like that Mischelle Hunziker.

I give up, you're so ignorant.

- Hungry, guys? Want more food?

- No, thanks.

You sure? - Grab the guitar

and sing us a song.

We hear you singing all the time,

you've got a great voice.

Sorry, hope I didn't disturb you...

No, you've got a great voice!

Whose songs are they?

I think I know,

that English chick...

The one who's always bombed,

that poor chick...

Am I right?

The music and lyrics are by Antonia,

she writes superb songs.

Okay, enough... thanks.

She's got real talent, her live

performances are breathtaking.

You're so sweet.

- Hear him?

- Don't hit me, I can hear him.

Play us a tune

before the soccer game.

Come on, before the game!

Damn, you're good!

Wow, never heard

a song like that before!

The song's not done, there's more.

- Sing a song we all know.

- A Vasco Rossi song!

Sorry, I don't know any of his.

- Play "Grazie Roma".

- We'll get pumped up for the game.

- Maybe next time...

- Don't stop playing!

- Maybe later.

- My daughter likes it.

The game's starting, let's roll!

The game's on...

Guido, come watch a real team.

Easy, don't drop me.

A friend hacked my cable box,

now I get every channel:

Sky, satellite, Champions League,

Fox, and porn too.

Come over anytime you want.

- What's your favorite team?

- I'm no soccer aficionado.

As a kid I liked Bergamds team,

Atalanta.

Aren't you Tuscan?

It's the name of

the Greek goddess of hunting,

fairly similar to Artemis,

perhaps you've heard...

Like I told you, Guido's

a real character. He's a trip.

Mom, can you take her?

I think she needs to be changed.

Like this!

Little Miss Grumpy

loves playing with Antonia!

She doesn't like anyone,

not even her father.

She either runs around

or clings to me.

Right, cutie?

She's not grumpy,

plus we're friends.

We even sing songs together.

- All combed.

- What are you guys waiting for?

Haven't you been together forever?

- Well...

- Are you worried about your job?

No, I don't care

about that shitty job at all!

Because your house is too small?

We have the same house

and we live here in four.

What are you waiting for?

It's not like you die or get

arrested for not having a kid.

I'll get something to drink.

Someone's bitter...

Cutie, go play with the other kids.

Go drink some fruit juice and let me

smoke this damn cigarette.

Don't excruciate yourself.

What does that even mean?

It comes from "crux, crucis".

Crucify yourself, torture yourself.

- Maybe I'm defective.

- Nonsense!

If anything, I took after

uncle Alfredo, who was "vacuous".

That's what the farmers

in my area used to say:

"Only three chicks were born,

the other eggs were 'vacuous"'.

What did your aunt Jolanda

from Poggibonsi say?

"Guido, my munchkin,

I'd gladly do some mending for you,

but it's a bit too 'irkalating"'.

"Irkalating" cracks me up.

Hey, are you crying?

"Spermiogram, Rome".

No, thanks.

Very kind of you, but no.

You too...

Now, time to sleep.

Please, go.

Same to you, goodnight.

Hello,

I'd like to schedule a spermiogram.

Spermiogram,

Friday at 9:
00, all right?

Guido Caselli.

- Three days of abstinence, okay?

- Fine.

- Total abstinence, understand?

- Dagnabit, I totally understand!

Tuesday, November 12th,

St. Cunibert of Cologne,

conservator of King Dagoberfs son

and evangelizer

of Saxony's rural villages.

I'm having a naughty dream.

Let me tell you about it...

Sorry,

but I have tons to do this morning.

- Come here!

- I have laundry to do...

Go take a shower, it's late.

Guido Caselli?

Follow me.

In here, please.

This is for you.

Make yourself comfortable...

there are periodicals if you'd like.

- Where did you learn...

- This lovely antiquated German?

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