Everyone Says I Love You Page #9

his flat on the Left Bank...

and moved into a place...

he knew would be straight out of

Von's fantasy of a Parisian apartment.

In addition to taking guitar lessons,

he traded in his word processor

for an old portable typewriter.

Hi.

Ahh! [Laughs]

Oh, I'm so happy to see you.

God, look at your place.

This is, uh, out of a movie or, or

out of a dr... This is, like, my dream.

This is my dream apartment,

my dream view, right here.

[D.J. Narrating] Back in

New York, it was Halloween.

That's my favorite holiday.

I mean, all the kids in the

building come trick-or-treating...

and they all just look so great.

# Oooh-ooh-ooh #

# What a little moonlight can do #

# Oooh-ooh-ooh #

# What a little

moonlight can do to you ##

# Chinatown My Chinatown #

# Where the lights are low #

# In some secluded rendezvous ##

# I'm Chiquita Banana

and I've come to say #

# Bananas have to

ripen in a certain way #

# When they are flecked with

brown and have a golden hue #

# Bananas taste the best

and are the best for you #

# You can put them in a salad #

# You can put them

in a pie-aii-yii #

# Any way you want to eat them #

# It's impossible to beat them #

# But bananas like the climate

of the very, very tropical #

# Equator #

# So you should never put bananas #

# In the refrigerator #

# No, no, no, no ##

[Cheering, Chattering]

That's good! They're terrific!

- Would you like some candy?

- What a banana!

- Nyaaaah! [Laughing]

- [Screams]

- Holden!

- Hey.

- Oh, I'm so happy to see you!

- Yeah? I wasn't sure.

- I was worried.

- Oh, yes!

- I'm... Holden, I'm so sorry.

- No, shh. It doesn't...

Mmm. It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter.

- Oh, I behaved so terribly.

- No, no, really, it was... it was me too.

- No, it wasn't.

- I missed you.

- I really missed you.

- I missed you too.

I brought you Cracker Jacks.

[D.J. Narrating] Holden was so

much in love with my sister...

that it didn't mean a thing that

she had given him a hard time.

Mom and Dad were so glad

to see them reunited.

He gave her back the diamond ring,

only he wanted to be romantic, so he

put it in a box of Cracker Jacks...

- and she swallowed it again.

- [Coughing]

The rest of fall was

pretty normal... for us.

The only glitch we had

was on Thanksgiving.

Just after dinner,

Scott suddenly collapsed.

Everybody panicked.

There's nothing to be alarmed about.

There was blockage in an artery, but

it's all been dissolved, so he's fine.

- He's totally fine? There's no problem?

- Oh, no. Hundred percent.

Our scan indicated that the condition

occurred some time ago, perhaps a year,

so if he's exhibited any

strange or weird behavior,

it's probably because his brain

wasn't getting enough oxygen.

[D.J. Narrating] And

wouldn't you know it,

as soon as his brain

started functioning properly,

Scott resigned from the Young

Conservative Republican Club...

and started espousing left-wing,

Democratic, liberal philosophy.

Dad was overjoyed. He was

just as proud as can be.

Remember I told you New York was

the most beautiful in the fall?

What I really meant was the

winter, at least when it snows.

Because under a blanket of snow,

New York City is truly gorgeous

and surprisingly peaceful.

You know, when Christmas

comes we don't...

We're not the kind of family that

hangs stockings or sings carols.

We don't have a goose or anything.

What we do do is head right for Paris and

spend our Christmas holiday at the Ritz.

[Steffi] Here, honey,

put your finger here.

Do it, hard.

- Well, he has a

fever. - Ahh-choo!

It's a cold.

I told you you should've put on some dry

clothes after you fell in the fountain.

You go without me. I'll be all right.

We don't want to go without you.

The Marx Brothers' are your

favorite movies. Mom, I feel so bad.

- He should stay home if he feels sick.

- I'm gonna stay home.

I'm so excited; I'm meeting this

guy named Guy, or this guy named Guy.

- Cool. Congratulations.

- Here, Dad.

- I brought you some tea.

- Oh, great. Thank you.

- [Doorbell Rings]

- It's not gonna keep me awake?

No, it's completely herbal.

It's peppermint flavored.

- Hello, Joe. -

Joe! - Hi, Dad!

Oh, I'd say hello, but I'm sick and,

you know, you always catch everything.

- What happened?

- What's wrong?

- I'm not going tonight.

- [Girls] Why not?

- I knew it.

- What's wrong, Dad?

- Von left me.

- What?

What happened?

I have no idea, but she's

on her way back to New York.

When she first came,

everything was perfect.

She said it was like a

dream had come true for her.

And then suddenly, this morning...

Um, I want to go back home...

to Greg.

Really?

I don't know what's wrong with me.

Since when has, uh, this happened?

I don't know.

Well, why?

I... I... [Clears Throat]

I don't know.

I don't know how to explain it, exactly.

Well, just tell me. You know, just...

Well, it's not that I don't

think that you're great. Okay?

- Um, I think you're great.

- Yeah?

Um, just, for years, you know,

I've been married to Greg,

and, and he can be difficult,

and we've had our ups

and downs, certainly.

- Since when did you have all these...

- I don't know.

It's just, I've... I've

always had this fantasy, okay,

that, um...

that one day I would

meet the perfect man...

and he would fulfill my

dreams and I would have...

the perfect life.

That fantasy, I think,

always sort of, um, was part of this

dissatisfaction that I had with Greg...

and, and my life.

And then you came along

and you seemed to know...

every secret thing about me.

Let me put it this way.

I have seen my dream come true,

and my fantasy no longer tortures me.

I can deal with it.

Yeah, but that's so neurotic.

Well, I know. I'm crazy.

Well, but supposing I said to you...

that none of this was really true;

that this was all a facade

that I've been putting on;

that-that-that somehow

I had, you know, access...

to your deepest feelings and your

needs and all your secret thoughts...

and, and I've been, I've

been playing this character...

just to, just to win you over,

to get you to like me, make you happy.

If that's what you told me,

then I'd say you were crazy.

So that's exactly why I'm

not going tonight. You know?

Instead, I-I have plans

to go to Napoleon's tomb.

- I'm gonna lie down next to him. That's

Christmas Eve for me. - That's so sad.

- The women you pick.

- No, you're going out.

- Aaaaah-choo! -

Somebody's gotta take Mom.

- He's so sick.

- You're too sick to go out this evening?

- I'm fine, as long as I don't move

my eyeballs. - He has a 101 temperature.

- You're not going anywhere tonight.

- But I'm not in a Groucho mood.

- Aw, come on. You'll love it. Go.

- It's Christmas Eve.

It's Paris. There's a ball.

Besides, you're on the committee that

arranged the party for the Cinematheque.

- You have to go. Enjoy yourself.

- I'll go for a couple hours.

I gotta stay here, but

there's no reason you don't go.

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