Evolution

In spite of all the warnings,

she was smoking in bed and fell a sleep.

Bad move!

And the fire begins.

It's show time!

Don't worry, ma'am.

I'm here to saveyou!

Keep those people back!

This is an emergency!

Don't you dare die on me!

Breathe, damn it, breathe!

She's gonna make it!

She's gonna make it!

What the--

Oh, damn!

Though it may be hard to believe

that a single biology professor...

making in excess of$1 7,500 a year...

could manage to find time to gradeyour

first biology research papers, I did.

As you can see, there was

a shocking statistical anomaly.

Pretty much all ofyou got A's.

You deserve to congratulateyourselves.

I got a good feeling about this group.

And I think that the parade ofA's will

continue to the end ofthe semester.

So much for the bell curve, right?

Bell curves suck!

Mr. Kane?

Dr. Kane, seems to be a mistake here.

My brother and I each got a C-minus

on our reports.

C-minus. Me too.

Allow me to share something

with the entire class.

As I was grading papers, I came across

two gems, both entitled "Cells Are Bad."

And both withjust one paragraph...

which I unfortunately

committed to memory.

"Cells are bad.

My uncle lives in a cell.

It's ten foot by twelve.

And he has to read the same boring

magazine every day.

The end."

You're talking about our papers,

aren't you, Dr. Kane?

Yes, I am.

Although my standards are not

where they used to be...

I still could not bring myself

to put an A on top ofthose beauties.

Hopeyou understand.

- Sure.

- Yeah, okay.

Let's get back to work at the Periodic

Table which is not, as some suppose--

A meteor? Where?

Route 89-A.

Yeah, I got it.

Rest assured I will be there.

Okay. Bye.

How's it look, Professor?

It's tight.

Really tight, Nadine,

but not too tight.

You just don't have the points.

I'm sorry.

Don't take it too hard. Geology's

a tougher subject than people think.

Areyou sure?

Couldn'tyou check again?

I really need this credit

to get into nursing school.

Nursing school?

Wouldn'tyou be more comfortable where

people's lives weren't dependent on you?

Actually, what I reallywant to be

is Miss Arizona.

But my consultant says nursing school

will really impress thejudges.

- Makes me look like I help people.

- Ready for lunch?

Or haveyou already eaten?

I was concluding a teacher-student

conference with Nadine, Ira.

Harry, your dedication toyourjob

is an inspiration to us all.

Regrettably, I have a prior lunch

engagement with Professor Kane.

We'll talk aboutyour

extra credit later, okay? Cheer up.

Let me grab my stuff.

Whereyou taking me?

A meteor hit last night.

Oh, that's what that was.

As the Glen Canyon representative

ofthe U.S. Geological Survey...

I have been assigned to check it out.

I'm taking you in case I actually have

to do something scientific. Then we eat.

You're a representative

ofthe U.S.G.S.?

Signed up over the Internet.

Wereyou on some cheerleader site

and accidentally linked to the U.S.G.S.?

Something like that.

Watch it. Take it easy.

That's my baby.

Watch it. Take it easy.

That's my baby.

Thereyou go. Easy.

Come on, be careful!

Who's gonna pay me for the damage

to my goddamn car?

Son, I told you we don't do that.

It's force majeure.

Force majeure, my ass!

That car's a classic '73 Buick Rivera.

Who areyou?

Harry Block, United States

Geological Survey.

This is my secretary, Ira Kane.

We're here to investigate the meteor.

Ifthat's what it is.

Ofcourse it's a damn meteor.

It almost blew up my damn car.

I'm still fuzzy on whatyou were

doing here in the middle ofthe night.

With Betty Lou here.

For the thousandth time, I was

practicing for my fireman's exam...

which started seven minutes ago,

so I'd appreciate ifyou let me go.

You and the blonde found the meteor?

Yeah, I found it.

It bounced my car 200 feet

in the air. Can I go?

Bob, get him out ofhere right now.

Don't leave town.

Sheriff, is this...

the point ofpenetration?

Yeah, it punched through

into a cavern 80 feet down.

That's a hole.

Oh, damn it!

Next time, you're carrying this case.

You're the U.S.G.S. representative.

That responsibility

comes with the badge.

Oh, my God! Look at that.

I believe we've located

the target.

- Big smile, fellas.

- Cheese!

Hold it up now.

All right?

It's hot! It's really hot.

I'll hold you up.

More nightstick.

Look at thesejackasses.

At ease, gentlemen.

The Feds are here.

Feds? What Feds?

- Who letyou down here?

- Let's not get combative, Lieutenant.

The U.S.G.S. and local law enforcement

have a long history ofcooperation.

We're here to get some scientific

samples, ifthat's okaywith you guys.

Ah, yeah, sure.

We got all the photographic evidence

we need. Carry on.

Thankyou.

Keep up the good work.

Just hit last night

and it's got stuff growing on it.

Could be cave moss.

Cave moss afterjust a few hours?

That's peculiar.

Let's get a sample

and get out ofhere.

It's bleeding.

It's a rock that bleeds.

Now that's really peculiar.

Let's bag it.

I don't know ifthis geological society

gig is all it's cracked up to be.

Yeah, it pads out my resume,

but am I growing as a person?

Am I growing as a Division Three

women's volleyball coach?

Areyou gonna do those spectro tests

it says to do in the guidebook?

Spectrograph. Yeah, I will do

a full spectroscopic analysis.

Your resume will shine.

Good. I got to get to the game.

Let me know if you find anything.

Ira? Areyou sureyou can handle this

byyour lonesome?

All right, all right.

That's impossible.

Ten base pairs.

No, that can't be.

We need this!

Come on, ladies, look alive!

Tina, when Lisa goes for the spike,

you've got to cover the line.

Lisa, two hands! Two hands!

God gaveyou two goddamn hands

for a reason!

Big news. The most amazing thing.

The meteor samples are teeming

with one-celled organisms.

Their metabolic rates

are offthe charts.

They're dividing at an incredible rate.

It's practically exponential.

Their DNA has ten base pairs.

Ten base pairs. That's good to know.

Thankyou, Ira.

The DNA ofall life on Earth

has only four base pairs.

Come on, ladies!

Look alive!

Harry, these are organisms

from anotherworld.

They're aliens.

Is the Nobel Prize paid in installments,

or in a lump sum like the lottery?

Let's not get ahead ofourselves.

Here. My office.

I'm not getting ahead ofmyself. I'm

concerned about the tax consequences.

- Why in here?

-Just wanted to be cautious.

It's our discovery.

I'm all tingly.

I'm no biologist, but how many cells

do single-celled organisms have?

Ifwe're gonna be important scientists,

you have to act the part.

Why don'tyou take a look?

There are multi-cellular organisms

in there.

- Yes, I know.

- But theyweren't there before.

- So they snuck in.

- There was no sneaking in.

It's-- No, it's too amazing.

- What?

- It's like they're evolving.

They're growing.

They're growing

into more complex organisms.

It's evolution.

Nobel, here we come.

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