Evolution Page #2

Yeah, but it's 200 million years' worth

injust a few hours.

That's fast.

You have no idea.

Get ready.

On my signal.

Go!

Recruit, wake up.

Wake up!

Go! Go, go, go!

The hose!

This thing here!

Sorry.

- Move it! Move it!

- Wayne, go!

Go, go! Come on!

Buddy, these things happen.

There's another test in six months.

Six months?

I can't wait six months!

At least you still got the pool gig

at the country club, right?

Great. Thanks a lot.

Drive careful.

I got it. I got it!

I do this.

Looks like we got visitors.

Class, since this is our first field

trip, please obey a few simple rules.

Dirt!

Nice footwear.

It's perfect for spelunking.

Don't touch anything.

Don't move anything. Don't even breathe

unless we tell you to.

And wearyour protective gloves

at all times.

- Why do we have to do this?

- Firsthand field experience.

The very meat and potatoes ofgeology.

- Will this be on the final?

- Yes!

- Officer, nice to seeyou again.

- Professor, what's up?

- We came to pick up the rock.

- Pick it up? What?

Yeah, we--

Just orders from the U.S.G.S. Theywant

it under controlled conditions.

It's very technical.

Oh, technical stuff. It's technical.

Okay, go right ahead.

- We're gonna haul it out ofhere.

- Sure, go ahead.

Deke and Danny, rememberwhat

we talked about, right?

You are in charge ofthe hoisting. Get

the winch up to the hole. Understand?

Fellas, stop nodding andjust stare

at me for a second, okay?

Focus.

You understand what I wantyou to do?

- Yeah, we gotyou.

- Yeah.

Go do it.

Ira, I'm picking up

a heavy creepyvibe here.

A lot has changed.

Class, I know these look like mushrooms,

but refrain from eating them.

Oh, it smells disgusting.

Nadine, sometimes science stinks.

It's the game we play, baby.

Rotten egg smell.

- Hydrogen sulfide, right?

- Yeah, and ammonia and methane.

It's like it's converting

the atmosphere.

Look at all this rudimentary plant life.

It's amazing.

I don't want to get all girly, but I

feel something wiggling around my toes.

The ground does seem to be moving.

Whoa!

Flatworms.

Millions!

Yuck!

Oh, God!

Barely 1 8 hours

and we already have fatworms.

- Look, look!

- Hey, there they are!

- Hi, Dr. Kane.

- Hey, Dr. K.!

- Man, I almost went down!

- Awesome.

Come here, little buddy.

I'm not gonna hurtyou.

You didn't hurt it.

You killed it.

The oxygen must have killed it.

It must need its own atmosphere

to live.

Yeah.

Grab a specimenjar. We'll try to scoop

some atmosphere in there with them.

Yeah, right.

It took us two billion years to do

what they did injust a couple ofdays.

Yeah. Those little germs are

the embodiment ofthe American dream.

I'm so sorry to interrupt,

Professor Block.

But I was wondering ifI'm correct

in assuming that that field trip...

fulfilled any ofmy missing

credit requirements.

You know, Nadine,

you are a very, very smart girl.

But ifyou wouldjust focus--

Professor...

the little wigglyworm things

are breaking.

Look.

He's not breaking. It's splitting.

It's mitosis.

That's how they reproduce.

No sex?

No time for sex.

Bummer!

Little guys are splitting again.

Put it away. Look, we call no one,

tell no one. This is our secret, right?

What about the government? Isn't this

the kind ofthing they get involved in?

No government.

I know those people. Absolutely not.

You do?

This is our discovery, and we have

to maintain absolute control.

We have to do more research and check

our findings. Document everything.

Wayne?

What's this?

That would be an all-cotton towel, sir.

I believe it's a Fieldcrest.

It's a damp towel.

Why is a damp towel on my chaise?

Okay, let me take care ofthis

foryou.

You should, becauseyou're pool manager,

and you know what to do about it.

What the hell?

Where did you guys come from?

You're dead now.

Whoa! What the--

Harry, when Icheckedthesamples

thismorning...

Ifoundthree differentsubspecies.

These thingsare evolvingso quickly.

God knows what we'll find

when we get back to the-- Whoa!

Please tell me

there's an air show today.

Sh*t!

Can I helpyou?

Yeah. Harry Block, Ira Kane.

United States Geological Society.

We're doing some important research.

This is our site.

I'm sorry. Not anymore.

You're not on the list.

What doyou mean?

We come here all the time.

This is not a nightclub.

Why don'tyou take it somewhere else?

I know my Constitutional rights!

Harry!

Look, maybeyou can call your superior.

We can have a word with him.

I have a Harry Block and Ira Kane

claiming--

Punk. What?

You got to know how to talk

to the white man.

- White man gonna get his ass whupped.

- Very sensitive. Can't beyelled at.

- Did you say Kane?

- Yeah.

- The Ira Kane?

- Yeah.

I've been looking forward to this

for a long time. You bastard!

Hey, hey, hey!

Get his gun!

Take it easy. They're good. Up!

You're responsible

for the worst month ofmy life!

- What the hell was that about?

- I don't know.

Drive straight down to the command tent.

They're expecting you.

- Go.

- Thankyou.

That's the guy that had me in diapers

for over a month!

- Men, General Woodman's expecting you.

- Russell Woodman?

What an unexpected surprise.

For me too. I didn't realize

we were on a hugging basis.

The same old Ira Kane.

And you must be--

Harry Block, this is General Russell

Woodman, head of U.S. Army Research.

- General.

- Harry.

You two know each other?

Ira used to work for me.

Right, Ira?

I worked with you, actually.

You used to work in army research

in the Pentagon?

Yeah.

And all this time I thought

you werejust a school teacher.

No. How did you

find out about this?

You leave the Pentagon,

you don't call me, you don't write.

We like to keep tabs

on our prodigal sons.

Soyou tapped my phone?

No. We're not the KGB.

Actually, we've been monitoring

your computer.

His computer?

All those girls in the photos

are over 1 8.

Yes, I'm sure.

- I should've figured.

- Yes.

And you should've known better than to

try to keep something this big from us.

And the CDC.

Just in time. Ira, this is Allison Reed,

senior researcher in epidemiology...

at the CDC.

Nice underwear.

Garter belt? At a day function?

I can do it. Thankyou very much.

I'm okay. Dr. Kane.

I'd heard aboutyour recklessness,

butyou are way out ofline.

Doyou realize how dangerous

this situation could have become?

It's nice to meetyou too, ma'am.

No need to play the blame game, Allison.

No harm, no foul.

We're all very appreciative

of Dr. Kane and Mr. Black's discovery.

Block.

Block. I'm sorry.

The confirmation ofthe existence

oflife outside this planet--

Would be the greatest

scientific discovery ofour time.

Yes, actually.

Yes, it would.

And you have myword thatyou'll be kept

in the loop from this point forward.

You son ofa b*tch.

What doyou mean, kept in the loop?

General, we are the loop.

We won't cutyou out,

but we do need to take control.

We're following protocol.

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