Ex-Lady Page #4

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Do you remember the bustle?

- Do you? -No. More's the pity.

I remember the hobble skirt.

Ah, there was an invention.

The hobble skirt! They couldn't walk

fast nor far in the hobble skirt.

You could trust them.

And now... Iris is gone.

Gone?

Yes, gone. To visit relatives

in Assquapeck.

Do you care?

Do I care? Let me tell you something:

I'm jealous. Insanely jealous.

- Not of Iris?

- Of Iris.

One would never think so.

That's the price I pay to be married to

the most beautiful woman in the world.

- Oh, I wouldn't say that. -I'll say it

for you, my boy. I'll say it for you.

- You mean to say you're not really

indifferent to Iris? -Indifferent?

I scorch. I burn. My

heart... is like a volcano.

But you as act as though...

Ah... I act. All the world's a

stage. Every man plays a part.

How else am I to hold her? How else?

Let's go. Do you realize, I haven't

seen Helen for almost 2 weeks.

If Iris knew, she'd leave me. So I am

suspended between earth and sky.

Doomed to love and not show it.

That's life. That's love. That's women.

Well, thanks very much.

I'll be seeing you.

You're sure you don't want

me to come up with you?

No, that's alright. Thanks a

lot, don't bother. Goodnight!

Mr. Peterson. Of all people.

Ms., um...

Ms., uh...

Won't you come in?

- May I?

- Yes, do!

Thank you.

Charming place you have here.

I like it...

You too.

What?

Charming.

It's about time, Mr. Peterson.

Where are we going?

My nose was shiny.

Let's see.

OK?

Very OK.

Let's not go out tonight.

I want to go out.

Have it your own way.

No, if you don't want to go...

You disarm me by agreeing

with me. Don't agree with me.

I want to stay.

How about a compromise?

Compromise is defeat.

You can stay for 5 minutes after

the theater, Mr. Peterson.

Oh... that'll be nice.

Oh, I forgot to thank

you for the flower.

Thank you for the flowers, Mr. Peterson.

I've missed you.

Let's not go out.

Alright, let's... Not.

Uh-huh...

The ice man.

I can't imagine who that can be.

- Good evening.

- Hello, Van.

So it's you.

I thought I'd go along with

you. I've nothing to do.

Well... we're staying.

Oh, that's fine, Don. I really don't

feel like going around tonight.

A glass, please?

Love, and life, and laughter...

Love, and life, and laughter.

The gods give them to us,

and what do we mortals do?

Ah, woe is me. Woe and alack-a-day.

It was different in the old days.

There were fair women and brave men.

Knights, in armor, jousting.

I should have liked to joust.

And to have had a beauteous

Iris toss me her glove...

...as I stood before her, a victor.

Her tiny glove. I should

have kissed her glove.

My glass, please.

- Mr. Van Hugh said we're

to use his car. -Yes, sir.

- Hey, buddy, could you spare a

dime for a cup of coffee? -Coffee?

I haven't had my demitasse.

What do you say to the Central Park

Casino? The hamburgers are lovely there.

Take my arm.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Good morning.

- Good morning.

Better hurry up or you'll be late. Then

you won't want to come here anymore.

Try and take my key away.

Swell this way, isn't it?

You win.

I don't win. Isn't it?

Yes.

I was right, wasn't I?

The way a woman proves her point.

- But you haven't had any

breakfast. -I've got to go.

When's our next date?

Well... I'll call you up some time.

Do that, mister. Not too soon.

Tonight too soon?

What's the red circle for?

Red letter day.

What conceit!

Well... when?

But that's 2 days from now.

Sounds like 2 years from now.

Feels like 2 years from now.

Crazy. Better go to work.

Bye.

Bye.

Wednesday?

Wednesday.

Not Tuesday?

Wednesday.

Wednesday.

Hello?

Oh, hello.

How's tonight?

Have you permission to

go out with me tonight?

Don't talk like that,

Nick. I'll hang up.

I'm on my knees,

abjectly apologizing.

Please, will you come

out with me tonight?

No, I...

What time is it?

Oh, is it as late as that?

Well, look, um... what

do you want to do?

Anything you like.

Alright. Call for me about 7.

No, I won't be ready before 7.

Better make it a quarter after.

Alright... Alright.

- Hello. -Oh, Don, why didn't

you call 2 minutes sooner?

- Why? -I just

said I'd go out.

- Who?

- Nick.

Oh.

Wish I could call it off.

Can't you?

How can I?

Well, don't.

Tomorrow night?

I don't know.

Why?

I may have some work to

do. I'll call tomorrow.

Well... please don't mind, darling.

No. Not at all.

Goodbye, dear.

Bye.

Funny girl.

- Time to go. -What do

you mean, time to go?

The evening's young yet. We're

going lots of places from here.

No.

What's the matter with you, Helen?

I know:
you're just a

pre-war bloomer girl.

- Think of something insulting.

- I'm trying, hard.

You know, you're hopelessly old-

fashioned, but you won't admit it.

I'm hopelessly sleepy. I do admit that.

That's old-fashioned.

- Sleep?

- Uh-huh.

I went to bed at 3 this morning.

You wish anything?

Yeah, bring us 2.

-2 what, sir?

-2 anything!

Let's go places. I'm not sleepy.

Swell.

Now maybe we'll get somewhere.

Maybe.

Why is it I do alright

with every girl but you?

And perversely, you're

just the one I want.

On account of you, I've thrown over all

Am I to be the 7th, Mr. Bluebeard?

- Won't you be the 7th?

- You put it so nicely.

Of course, I... I know

Don's the great love.

But must it always be the great love?

No little... detours?

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

Well, what's the matter, dear?

What's wrong? You look as

though you'd seen a ghost.

It's nothing. Let's go.

- Taxi.

- Taxi!

I guess I won't need

you after all, old man.

The ice hasn't arrived yet.

The service here is terrible.

And Herbert owns the place.

Who?

Herbert Smith. My husband, stupid!

Oh.

- Well, let's have it straight,

with a chaser. -Suits me.

- Well?

- You and me.

Don. What's the matter with you?

I've told you before.

But I'm leaving him.

What do you mean?

I'm crazy about you.

- Peggy...

- Don't talk.

- Looking for someone?

- I'm not speaking to you.

- You're in my rooms.

- Yes, and so is Don.

- Then I'll ask you to go.

- She wants us to go home.

- I said, I want YOU to go.

- Come on, Don. Are you coming?

Mother says, "Are you

coming home, little boy?"

Peggy, would you mind leaving us

alone for a few minutes? Please.

Jealous.

That's right. Jealous.

- Like a wife.

- Like a wife.

- Want husband to come home.

- No, I don't want husband to come home.

It's clear to you now, isn't it, Don?

It must be clear even to you.

It won't work. It takes 2

people who can be trusted.

Meaning me. What about you and Nick?

That's right. Me too.

We're not noble enough to carry

out our noble experiment.

Yeah, well, I guess not.

We're just human.

Goodbye, Don.

"Let's be friends. "

No, thanks. Goodbye means goodbye.

It's what you want, isn't it?

It's what YOU want, isn't it?

Yes, it's what I want.

No hard feelings. We tried. No go.

No go.

- Ready?

- Yes.

- Where to?

- Anywhere.

Fine.

Don!

- Taxi, please.

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