Excess Baggage Page #14

Silence. Will starts to sweat.

WILL (CONT'D)

If you are, I need to talk to you. If you aren't,just tell me where Father Douglas is -- I'll get out of your hairand you won't have to worry about me till last rites.

It is, by the way, FATHER DOUGLAS.

FATHER DOUGLAS:

It might be wise to see me sooner than that.

WILL:

Are you Father Douglas, or aren't you?

FATHER DOUGLAS:

I'll be through here in an hour. Perhaps we couldspeak at that time?

WILL:

You're Father Douglas.

FATHER DOUGLAS:

Yes.

Will expels a big sigh of relief.

WILL:

I have a message for Emily Hope.

Silence.

WILL (CONT'D)

You do know Emily Hope?

FATHER DOUGLAS:

Are you Catholic?

WILL:

What does that have to do with it?

FATHER DOUGLAS:

Answer the question, please.

Will glances around guiltily.

WILL:

Yes.

FATHER DOUGLAS:

Then you know I can't answer your question.

Will's about had it with obstacles. He rips out paper andpen, and scribbles.

WILL:

Fine. I'm writing down an address and phone number.And if you should happen to see Emily Hope, you tell her I can bereached here for the next twenty-four hours. And then I'm gone.

Will shoves the paper through the grill.

WILL (CONT'D)

Oh, and Father? Tell her I thought she was tougherthan this.

INT. CHURCH - DAY

Will, stepping out of the confessional, stops dead whenhe sees the rectory priest approaching with the COP.

WILL:

Aw, sh*t.

RECTORY PRIEST:

That's him, officer.

Will, looking for somewhere, anywhere, to hide, ducks backinto the confessional.

The confession crowd is wild with anticipation.

The cop comes to a dead stop outside the confessional.

COP:

I can't go in there.

The rectory priest raps on the door.

RECTORY PRIEST:

Young man, come out of there immediately!

No answer.

RECTORY PRIEST (CONT'D)

Do you hear me, young man? I said come out!

Father Douglas, looking holier than God, steps from theconfessional, to the further excitement of the crowd --

FATHER DOUGLAS:

What is the meaning of this?

The cop pales -- he wasn't prepared for a stand off withGod.

RECTORY PRIEST:

The man inside --

FATHER DOUGLAS:

Is a confessor. Since it is not, as far as I know,yet a crime to attend confession, we are not yet in the habit ofdragging confessors out of the booth. Am I clear, Father Michael?

RECTORY PRIEST:

Very, Father Douglas.

Father Douglas turns to the cop.

FATHER DOUGLAS:

Thank you for coming. Your services won't be necessarytoday.

The cop nods, gulps, and goes. Father Douglas turns to therectory priest.

FATHER DOUGLAS (CONT'D)

Would you care to explain?

The rectory priest falters, casts an anxious glance at theavid spectators -- at this point, no one is entering either of the confessionals.He lowers his voice.

RECTORY PRIEST:

I was concerned for your safety, and. . .

(oh, this is going to sound bad)

RECTORY PRIEST (CONT'D)

I called the police.

FATHER DOUGLAS:

I see.

The rectory priest shoots a dour glance at the booth.

RECTORY PRIEST:

He was quite forceful.

Father Douglas sighs, opens the confessional door. Willand he lock eyes.

FATHER DOUGLAS:

It was good seeing you again, William.

Will reacts, eyes narrowing momentarily.

WILL:

Right. Good seeing you again, Father.

Will steps awkwardly from the booth.

FATHER DOUGLAS:

And William?

WILL:

Yes?

FATHER DOUGLAS:

Ten Hail Marys, ten Our Fathers.

Will's jaw drops.

FATHER DOUGLAS (CONT'D)

You may go.

WILL:

Right.

Will GOES. Father Douglas turns back to the rectory priest.

INT. JOE'S AUTO PARTS/LIVING QUARTERS - DAY

The place is a reflection of Joe: old, worn -- too muchbad news has passed through here, leaving behind a yellowed, tarnished toneof loss that clings to every item in the room. Joe himself is not lookingtoo good right now either -- probably because Thomas Perkins is beatingthe crap out of him.

Thomas pauses. Joe coughs. Thomas lifts Joe's bottle andoffers Joe a swig, which Joe takes thankfully.

PERKINS:

Joe, you have to understand, I don't enjoy beatingup old men. Especially military men like yourself. But your nephewis in possession of something I must find.

JOE:

Don't know where he is. Haven't heard from him.In days.

PERKINS:

Really, Joe.

Perkins gently removes the bottle from Joe's hands.

PERKINS (CONT'D)

We both know you're lying.

Joe reaches pleadingly after the bottle.

JOE:

Please --

PERKINS:

Sorry, Joe.

Thomas hits him again.

EXT. CHURCH - DAY

Will stands in the shadows, watching the cop study Will's"borrowed" automobile.

WILL:

What is this, pick on Will Pogue week?

The cop eyes the out of state plate, scribbles the numberon a pad, lifts his radio mike.

WILL (CONT'D)

Look, I promise to say the hail marys, I promiseto say the our fathers, hell, I promise to confess, next chanceI get, if that bozo just walks away from the car. Honest. A fullconfession. And no more cars. Not ever.

The cop's radio SQUAWKS, the cop hops into his cruiser,turns on his SIREN, and screams out of the parking lot.

WILL (CONT'D)

You're kidding?

Thunder rumbles. Will casts an appalled glance at the sky.

INT. PERKINS' DISCREET AUTOMOBILE - DAY

Will's screaming down the highway, muttering under his breath.

WILL:

Hail Mary, full of grace. . .

EXT. GARDEN - DAY (OVERCAST)

Emily sits on a rock, staring into space, as dark cloudsrumble past. Father Douglas walks up behind her.

FATHER DOUGLAS:

I have a message for you.

Emily covers her face with her hands.

EMILY:

Aw, sh*t.

Father Douglas drops Will's paper into Emily's lap.

FATHER DOUGLAS:

There's a phone in the rectory. You may use it.

He turns away.

EMILY:

Don't you judge me.

He turns back.

FATHER DOUGLAS:

I don't judge you, Emily. That's not my job.

EMILY:

Then what do you call this superior attitude?

FATHER DOUGLAS (CONT'D)

Frustration? What did you tell him, anyway?

EMILY:

It doesn't matter. It didn't work.

Father Douglas laughs.

EMILY (CONT'D)

What did he say?

FATHER DOUGLAS:

He said he thought you were tougher than this.

EMILY:

Sh*t sh*t sh*t.

Father Douglas raises his eyebrows.

EMILY (CONT'D)

Sorry, Father.

FATHER DOUGLAS:

We'll make a Catholic out of you yet, Emily.

Emily shakes her head, almost smiles at the old joke.

FATHER DOUGLAS (CONT'D)

Emily, that young man is in a great deal of troublebecause of you.

EMILY:

It's not like he's a saint, Father. He did steala car. A lot of cars.

FATHER DOUGLAS:

That he did. I have to return. Will you be all right?

EMILY:

I'll be fine.

Father Douglas starts down the path, pauses, and turns.

FATHER DOUGLAS:

Oh, and Emily?

EMILY:

Yes?

FATHER DOUGLAS:

He appeared to have a great deal of -- character.

Emily watches Father Douglas disappear down the path.

EMILY:

Touché, Father.

INT. RECTORY - DAY

Emily squints at the number on Will's paper, lifts the phone,dials -- and hangs up.

EMILY:

I can't do this.

She picks up. Hangs up. Picks up.

A grotesque crucifix stares down at her from the wall. Sheglares back at it.

EMILY (CONT'D)

I can't do this, all right!

The crucifix glowers -- no, it's not all right.

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