eXistenZ Page #2

your bio-port plugs.

The what? Spark plugs?

You heard me.

My friend here

has a bio-port problem.

A bio-port. Now...

...that's a sort of hole

in your spine, isn't it?

Iots of a**holes around here,

but that's generally it.

I don't know why you'd be

talking to me about that, lady.

Sure you do.

Allegra Geller.

You've changed my life.

What was your life like before?

Before?

Before it was changed

by Allegra Geller.

I operated a gas station.

You still operate a gas station.

Only on the most pathetic

level of reality.

Geller's work liberated me.

Iiberated?

Did you ever play her game ArtGod?

One word. Capital "A."

Capital "G."

I don't have a bio-port.

"Thou, the player of the game, art God."

Very spiritual.

Funny too.

God, the artist, the mechanic.

Funny.

Here we go.

Those are sterilized...

...aren't they?

Not to worry.

You could fire in a bio-port

in a slaughterhouse...

...and never generate an infection.

Then why the clean overalls?

It's a mental thing.

Helps me focus.

The one thing you don't wanna do

is miss with the stud-finder.

Oh, God.

God?

The mechanic.

Step into my office.

See? That didn't hurt, did it?

I didn't expect that to hurt.

I expect the next part to hurt.

That's what l expect to hurt.

I haven't crippled anyone yet.

How many have you done?

Three.

Well, you'll be my third.

Easy.

-What was going on, Gas?

-Hell...

...he's acting

like l'm attacking him.

People usually pay me to do this.

Yeah? All two of them!

As you can see...

...l've decided not to have

a bio-port installed.

This is it, you see.

This is the cage of your own making...

...which keeps you trapped and pacing

about in the smallest space forever.

Break out of your cage, Pikul.

Break out now.

The swelling doesn't last for long.

Tomorrow you won't even notice it.

I love it.

Great.

What's going on?

l can't move my legs!

The procedure comes...

...with its own epidural.

Just like when you have a baby.

Kind of instant paralysis

from the waist down.

That's why it didn't hurt you.

It'll wear off in no time.

I'm gonna go wash up.

You two make yourselves at home.

We don't have to wait

for the swelling to go down.

You're gonna port into me

while l'm paralysed?

You wanted to play my game,

didn't you?

Yeah, l did. l do, but--

Here? Now?

It's an instant-on world, isn't it?

What's that for?

Feels...

...cold.

New ports are sometimes

a bit tight.

Wouldn't wanna hurt you.

How come...

...bio-ports don't get infected?

I mean...

...they open right

into your body.

Iisten to what you're saying, Pikul.

Don't be ludicrous.

Don't you think

you could call me Ted?

Maybe afterwards.

Sh*t!

Pikul!

I can't believe it.

You blew my pod!

You neural-surged.

What do you mean?

I jacked you into my pod

and you panicked.

It's totally f***ed!

This is a disaster.

I was nervous,

but l didn't panic.

I was forced to trust you, and you

panicked and you neural-surged...

...and you blew my pod.

You can get a new pod.

Pikul.

In this pod...

...is the only, the original

version of eXistenZ.

An entire game system that cost

Not including prerelease

marketing costs.

And l'm locked outside my own game.

I can't get me in or it out.

Are you serious?

That's the only version that exists?

It's the only one

and it's stuck inside...

...and it's your fault.

I've devoted five of my most passionate

years to this strange little creature.

And l've never regretted it, Pikul.

I knew it was the only thing

that could give my life any meaning.

Why is it my fault?

I'm telling you, l didn't.

I did not neural-surge.

I didn't.

I didn't feel any surging.

It's not your fault.

It's my fault.

Oh, no, Gas. Not you.

I wouldn't try to use

that bio-port again.

Except maybe for a toaster

or something.

What's going on?

You're worth a lot of money

if you're dead.

What are you talking about?

You know what l'm talking about.

lt's all over the countryside.

Five million dollars for her dead body.

No questions asked.

But she changed your life.

Yeah.

Now l'm gonna change hers.

Why did you install

a bad port into me?

There's a bonus for killing...

...Allegra Geller's latest game,

or whatever it is.

I think l just did that, didn't l?

But can you kill me, Gas?

Can you kill a person?

Can you do that?

Hide my body...

...contact the crazies...

...trust them to pay up?

Hand over my now decaying,

f***ing grotesque corpse...

...really expect them to hand over

five mill cash?

I mean, don't you ever go

to the f***ing movies?

I like your script.

I wanna be in it.

Oh, God, l think he's dead.

He wanted to kill you.

That's two people in one day...

...who wanted to actually kill you.

I've never been more popular.

Allegra, we need help.

You're right. l've gotta

get this pod fixed.

We're going skiing?

Iook at that huge bug.

It's got two heads.

It's not a bug. lt's a mutated

amphibian. lt's a frog...

...salamander-lizard thing.

Sign of the times.

What happens if somebody comes up here

and really wants to ski?

Nobody actually physically

skis anymore. You know that.

No, don't use that!

And bring me the sterile wash.

My darling.

Allegra Geller.

I am so pleased...

...and so astonished to see you here.

Kiri Vinokur...

...my bodyguard, Ted Pikul.

Sterile wash.

I hear this ridiculous story...

...about some fatwa against you.

The company are desperately

trying to find you.

Is this really serious?

Are you in danger?

There have been a couple

of attempts on my life.

This is unbearable.

The company must stop this.

They owe you every kind

of protection.

I don't know if they can do anything.

lt seems to be open season on me.

You're safe here.

l assure you.

I will contact Antenna right away

and have them send some people over--

No, Kiri, don't.

Tell no one we're here.

I can't be sure that Antenna

is completely safe for me.

I understand. Yes.

You know...

...you can hide out in one

of the guest chalets...

...as long as you like.

And l'll make sure

you get fresh towels.

And make sure l don't lose everything

l have in here.

You bet.

Take that.

Good.

Pull this back.

What did you port into?

Pikul's bio-port.

That's what caused

all the damage?

It was a flawed installation.

My first.

Well...

...it fried a lot of expensive...

...neural webbing.

You see?

Iooks like an animal in there.

Feels like you're operating

on somebody's pet dog.

I told you, Landry,

we have become...

...glorified veterinarians.

Put a little in there, please.

The eXistenZ game-pod is basically

an animal, Mr. Pikul.

It's grown from fertilized amphibian

eggs stuffed with synthetic DNA.

Only Antenna has this.

Wow. Where do the batteries go?

Very funny.

He's not kidding.

He's a total PR nerd. lt ports

into you. You're the power source.

Your body, your nervous system,

your metabolism, your energy.

You get tired, rundown,

it won't run properly.

Iandry here will finish up

the pod work. Now, let's...

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