Express Pipe Laying Page #7

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of Don Giovanni...

let's take a moment to recognize the man

that made this night possible...

the best friend this city

has ever had, Travis Cole.

Enjoy the opera, everyone.

What the...

Wow! Get a load

of that mountain range.

Come back, baby.

This is the most daring portrayal

of Don Giovanni I've ever seen.

Let's go. Time for Pops

to climb that mountain.

What's up, fruity?

How did you... It doesn't matter.

You'll be gone in a minute.

Aha! You didn't count on

my loyal army of prostitutes, did you?

What do you want?

Just relax. Let's watch

your dirty opera.

You're a hell of a woman, baby.

Let me take you to Vegas.

You know what they say.

It ain't over till the fat lady

checks into a hotel with Pops.

What are you doing?

You're ruining Don Giovanni.

Don Giovanni?

Who's that dude?

The opera.

You're ruining the opera.

The opera. Yes, we are ruining that.

Sam, now!

You got it, buddy!

Sing the song, boys!

Bow, and kneel before me!

Jimmy! Release the skunks.

Okay, I got it. I'm on it.

Don't let me down, boys.

Run. Fly. Fly away.

Run! Run out! Fly!

Fly!

Skunks used to heighten the atmosphere

of squalor and despair. Brilliant!

The cameras are here.

By the way, Travis...

remember when you said this?

Note to self. Making love to blowup doll

not as good as advertised.

Sorry. I must have gone too far.

I'll just...

I don't even own the building

on Franklin.

I told you I did, but I lied.

Good luck trying to prove it.

Son of a b*tch!

I bet those reporters would love

to get hold of this tape.

How much do you want?

All I want is the $50,000

you owe us.

$50,000.

Make it out to Dr. Farthing.

Kirkpatrick.

Kirkpatrick is going to punch you

in the stomach.

Here you go.

You'll sign this contract...

that gives back ownership

of 99 Franklin Street to Kirkpatrick.

Give it here.

Thanks, Mitch.

I'm glad I didn't have to punch you.

Me too, buddy.

Okay, Cole, it's been nice

doing business with you.

You probably want to go home,

kick back...

and enjoy a nice glass

of Chihuahua piss or something.

Farthing.

Here's the check for $50,000.

That's great, Mitch.

Want to bet I don't go to my bookie?

You're paying off your bookie so you can

live to perform Pops's heart transplant.

Note to self.

Stop payment on $50,000 check.

Travis.

Son of a b*tch, bastard!

You idiot. That contract

won't hold up for ten seconds...

after my lawyers get through with it.

And, oops, what happened

to your tape?

You wrecked it. Well, don't worry.

I have one on the house P.A. system.

Hit it, Kathy.

Note to self. Remember to get

ass wart cream...

for giant wart on my ass.

It's a little bit past that.

You bastard! You can't destroy me.

I'm Travis Cole.

No one destroy's Travis Cole!

No one!

Fat lady, are you okay?

Yes, I'm okay. Just keep

that crazy old man away from me.

What the hell is going on?

I don't care if you are my son.

Get your own broad.

Bravo!

In a startling turn of events

at the opera house...

real estate mogul Travis Cole

has been arrested for fraud.

Mr. Cole, anything to say?

Good brownies.

Jenkins, listen to me.

This is very important.

Stop payment on a check for $50,000

I made out to a Dr. Farthing. Got that?

Jenkins, are you ready

for some crazy, rough sex?

Absolutely!

Good, Jenkins. I'm counting on you.

And find Spunky.

Hey, Mitch.

Jimmy. Your new nose looks great.

Thanks. Best $200 I ever spent.

- That girl you're with, she's not the...

- Yep.

Lin-Yung, the Saigon whore

who bit my nose off.

We're getting hitched.

Let's go.

Hold on.

I'm talking to my friend here!

Jeez, sometimes you got

to remind the hen who the rooster is.

Good luck to you, Jimmy.

Okay. See you around.

When I say "Let's go," you go.

Yeah? It's time you shut

your cake hole, Yoko!

Women.

Don't talk back to me

in front of my friend.

You're making me really angry.

Whoa, that scares me to death.

You bit my new nose off!

Damn it!

How you feeling with your new heart?

I feel great thanks to you and Sam,

my two boys.

Now that I met Gladys, I hope

they can fix another part of my body.

I'll give you a hint.

It rhymes with "cock."

Sam and I got great new jobs.

Pops got his heart. And I got the girl.

And Dr. Farthing, well,

he got over his gambling problem.

But the bookies beat him

to death anyway, so he's dead.

That's it. Bye.

Cole, it's nice

doing business with you.

Now you probably want to get home...

Sorry.

- Nurse, you want to record vitals?

- Cut.

Cole, it's been nice doing business

with you. Now you...

Cut.

Say your line again.

- Check the gate please.

- Cut.

- Well, Cole...

- I'm trying to help you.

Have you always been like this?

How you got this movie,

I'll never know.

- Some other time we could go camping?

- What?

- You know, just you and me.

- Let's go.

Mitch, I'm lonely.

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