Extraterrestrial Page #2

---

F***. I think he's back there.

Rusty!

Rusty!

Really, Mel?

Don't be a square. Come on.

Wow. What a shithole.

F***, I think he's back there.

Holy sh*t, Melanie, look.

Oh, my God.

Score!

Thank you, God, thank you, God.

Ok, remember,

we're here to find the dog.

What dog?

Oh.

Sweet Jesus, it's a miracle!

Melanie, put it down.

Come on. This is sketch.

It's probably some drug dealer's stash.

- Can I just take one bag?

- No! I don't wanna get killed!

Ok, fine. Fine.

There you are! Don't do that again.

Come on, let's go ok? Oh, my God!

What are you doing on my property?

We weren't trying

to steal anything, I promise!

You're trespassing!

No, no, no, my dog just ran back here

and we came back to get him!

Who sent you? Who sent you?

My parents own a cabin

right down the road!

April?

I know you?

Hell, I haven't seen you since you

were knee high to a bait pail.

Remember? Your dad and I

used to take you fishing out on the lake!

- Travis?

- Yeah!

Sorry for spookin' you guys back there,

I don't get many visitors.

I see somebody on my property,

they're usually here lookin' for trouble.

Is this you?

Oh, yeah, a little green

behind the ears in that one.

So... were you in, like,

Vietnam or whatever?

'67 through '71.

Brave as sh*t.

I've seen things...

things your generation

just wouldn't understand.

Hey, what's that thing?

My motion activated thermal cameras

picked this one up last week.

What is it?

What do you think it is?

Secret military air craft!

They've been using this whole area for test

flying ever since the end of the Cold War.

Maybe things have been heating up.

Just last night I tracked one of these babies

going about 2400 clicks an hour,

it stopped right on a goddamn dime, did a 180

quicker than any aircraft known to man.

You had to see it.

- No way!

- Way.

Oh, you guys are so young,

you have no idea

what's going on out there.

Why should you?

When I was your age,

I thought the world was...

a good and fair place.

I've seen some sh*t since then.

People nowadays live in their naive,

comfortable bubble worlds,

and the men behind the curtain

want to keep them that way.

The last thing they want is an informed,

public cable free-thought.

Free. Yeah.

People out there, they think they're free,

but they couldn't be further from the truth.

That's why you gotta stay off the radar.

Keep off the grid.

'Cause they're out there,

and they're watching.

So... can I buy some weed?

Of course you can.

So then, I was like "oh, my god."

And I was, like, freaking out and I felt

super dizzy and out of it, and I mean,

I was having a full on panic attack

in the middle of the club!

All of my friends were totally TTYL,

I didn't know what to do.

So anyway, out of nowhere, he comes over

and he's all like "hey, are you alright"?

He takes me to his dorm and he takes care

of me all night and he gives me water

and I just knew he was

the right guy for me.

So yeah, that's how we met.

- Wow, that sounds amazing.

- I know, right?

Hey... can I talk to you for a second?

- Just, like, upstairs?

- Yeah, ok, sure.

Actually, could you close the door?

- Are you ok? You're acting really weird.

- Yeah, no, I'm fine.

So, I...

I don't know how to say this, really.

Say what?

You know that I care about you

a lot, right?

Yeah, of course I do. What is it?

Ok, here goes.

April...

we know each other inside and out,

and the last three years have been

the best three years of my life.

I love waking up next to you, and...

and I want to keep waking up

next to you for the rest of my life.

So...

What are you doing, Kyle?

April, what do you say?

You want to keep waking up

next to me, too?

Kyle, are you serious?

Is that a yes?

I don't know.

You don't know?

Oh, f***.

You can't leave me hanging here.

Kyle, I...

- I can't.

- But why?

F***, I haven't told you this yet. I...

I didn't want it to be like this.

- I got a job offer in New York.

- New York?

- Yeah.

- When does it start?

The middle of May.

That's like a month away!

When the hell were you gonna tell me this?

This weekend, but then you ended up

inviting a bunch of people over here.

That's right in the middle of the semester,

I can't transfer that quickly.

What, did you not want me

to go with you?

No, Kyle, I didn't say that.

I just... I...

Oh, my God. You're breaking up with me.

No, no Kyle, I just...

I don't know if I'm ever gonna get another

opportunity like this again.

- Oh, I'm such an idiot.

- No, Kyle.

- I'm such a f***ing idiot.

- Kyle...

Kyle, don't walk away.

Surprise!

Let's get this motherfucking

party start...

F*** off, Seth.

- You said no?

- Seth!

That is some cold ass sh*t.

Welcome to the gayest

surprise party ever!

Not only did the surprise

completely backfire,

but there's no TV,

there's no cell phone service,

and I just got the worst news

that my chick is on the rag.

In this corner we have Kyle,

who has just taken a merciless beating

from April and could be out for the count.

Hey! Say something

for the camera there, champ!

Come here, you f***in' dumb dog.

Oh, yeah, gimme this sh*t.

What are these dirty sluts up to?

F***, I just wish it didn't have to go down

like that. I f***ing care about him.

Are you filming this?

That is some f***ed up sh*t. I mean really,

who says no to a guy on one knee?

Seth, f*** off.

I just, I'm trying to understand

the situation.

- So am I.

- Seth.

I thought we were happy together.

It's "April and Kyle", remember? We're in it

for the long haul. Where you go, I go.

- He f***in' loves you, April.

- Enough.

Seth, get the f*** out of here.

- I care about you, but...

- But what? But what?

I f***ing love you and you love me.

I don't even think I believe

in the concept of marriage, Kyle.

Look how well it turned out for my parents,

they can't stand each other!

But you are the one for me.

Kyle, that is just something

we are raised to believe

that we're supposed to want, ok?

The one, you know?

Like it's some magical f***ing thing

that is going to complete us and it's crap!

- Are you listening to me?

- What are you talking about?

I'm saying that at the end of the day,

we're all just alone in the universe.

April, that is the worst

f***ing logic...

What the f*** is that?

What the f***?

Holy f***!

Oh, my God!

- We gotta go!

- Leave this sh*t! Let's go!

No way, man!

- What the f***, April?

- Melanie!

Sh*t!

What the hell is that?

Are we really f***ing doing this sh*t?

F*** sakes man, I'm too f***ing drunk

for this sh*t, man.

Come on, hurry the f*** up.

F***.

Oh, my God.

- What the hell is that?

- It's an airplane, right?

I don't know, maybe man,

but what's with the red light?

- I don't f***in' know, man.

- Seth!

Is that what I think it is?

Oh, my God, this is f***ed up!

What is this?

I know one thing for sure it's not,

this is definitely not an airplane!

No way.

This is so light, it's like tinfoil.

Do you think it's a military thing

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes