Extreme Movie Page #2

---

Three weeks ago

Oh... oh, okay

Thats thats all right

Well, have fun, though

Oh, check out your cock!

Oh! Oh, honey!

I've been using these

since the Eisenhower Administration

Can I help you?

Huh?

Uh... uh, no

Oh, honey...

She's a real beaut, isn't she?

This just isn't right

I wish we'd met years ago

My whole high school experience

would have been different

Every day, the one thing

I can count on

So much love

It's like a river

with no end

So much love

The minute it seems to stop,

it starts again

So much love

You've given me so much love

Don't you know

you've made my dream come true

I've always wanted

to see the Grand Canyon, too!

They brought me you,

you brought me love

Dreams come true

every day with you

So much love

Justin, I haven't seen you

around much lately

I've been busy

Well, prom wasn't the same

without you

- Really?

- Yeah

I was wondering if we could

go out sometime

- Me and you?

- Dinner?

Maybe Saturday night?

And just when I thought

the night could not get any worse,

he pukes all over my dress

It was horrible

I'm sure you still

looked beautiful, though

Thanks, but I didn't

I had vomit all over me

You're so amazing

You really are

What? No, that's ridiculous

I'm going to play poker

with some of the guys

Dont worry

I'll be back by 10:00 All right?

Hello?

Anyone there?

Look, don't be a p*ssy,

just tell me who it is

Stop calling me!

Another prank call

I know what you're up to,

and it's gotta stop

Leave Carla alone!

It's over between me and you

Get used to it!

Where were you this morning?

I thought you were gonna

watch me practice

Oh Sorry, I forgot

Well, you comin' to my game

on Friday night?

Actually, I'm going to Len's party

with Stacy

You know what? There's someone else

who actually cares about me

Good-bye, Carla

Justin, where are you going?

What?

No!

Why?! Why did you do this!?

Someone call 911!

So what's the kinkiest thing

you've ever done in bed?

The two of us licked whipped cream

off of each other once

- That was fun Yeah

- That was pretty kinky

What about you?

I don't know

- Uh

- Come on, don't act all shy

- What if my parents are watching?

- Come on

Does it have to be the kinkiest thing

that weve done together?

No, it could have been

on your own

Well

this one time I had sex

with this black guy

while his best friend

did me in the ass,

and then I sucked both their d*cks

at the same time

That was kinda kinky

- What? Baby?

That's great

MR MATTHEWS:

Bring it on in!

We got a lot to do

and a little time to do it!

Wanna make sure we can

cram it all in

That's what she said Ha ha ha!

You guys know what I'm talkin' about

You've gotta sit next to Stacy

and be her partner

Yeah, man, don't be scared

Go ahead

All right,

we're all gettin' in a circle

This is great

Okay

let's talk about penises

That's right, everyone

I said the big P-word

Now, the most common question:

What's normal?

Simple answer:
There's no such thing

Penises come in a variety

of different shapes and sizes

Huh? All rightie!

As you can tell from the molds

cast from actual penises we have here

Got 'em all different

from all over the globe

Now, the next

we like to call the Fireplug

It's short and stocky,

but boy, when you get it excited,

kablooey!

Like a sawed-off shotgun, I tell ya

All right, what do we have next?

This one's called the Tadpole

Why is it called the Tadpole?

Because it's got a larger head

tapering down into a smaller shaft

We like to call this guy

the Mushroom Cloud, if you will

Yeah I thought

you'd like that one

Now, this is an interesting one

Looks small, but if you

know how-to use it,

I tell ya, it's quite a powerful weapon

It's called the Torpedo

You know what I mean?

Or the Meat Cone

'Cause it's got a tiny head

tapering into a large shaft

Nice

Hand that guy around,

that's a good one

We like to call that one

the Roto-Rooter

Next we have what's called

the Super huge

- That's right

- Oh, damn!

We also like to call this

the Great American Challenge

Ladies, you're gonna love

the cervix stimulation on that guy

Okay, this next one's interesting,

all right? I found this one online

It's the Doubleheader,

ladies and gentlemen

It is out there, believe me

Hand that around

Okay, everyone, pass 'em around

Look 'em up and down

NOW freeze!

Okay Gentlemen,

the penises in your hands,

that is your penis

Ladies, put your penises down

and partner up with

the person closest to you

Looks like we got a small one, huh?

Yeah

Okay, now I'm gonna hand out

some condoms for each group

Here ya go,

everyone get a condom

Now, ladies and gentlemen,

I'm gonna have you put the condom

on the man's penis, together

Okay, the reason I'm having you

put these condoms on together

is because contraception

is both partners' responsibility

Have to say that Sorry

Mike, it looks like you got

a little room there

That's because, Mike,

you have a very small penis

Okay, everyone,

let's talk about fetishes

Now, a fetish is basically

an obsession with leather...

black leather... and bits,

mouth bits

Who likes a ball in their mouth?

Anyone?

Oh, baby, you look so good

- You wanna do it now, baby?

- Hell, yeah, I do

Okay

No, wait

You know what would be even hotter?

What?

This

You want me to wear a hat?

Oh, yeah, baby,

that sh*t is so hot

- Okay

- Yeah. Yeah.

Wait Uh, you know what else

would be so smokin' hot?

What?

This big mole

What?! Ew!

It's hot Trust me

For me?

Fine

- Now can we do it?

- Yeah

Ronny... what the hell!?

- What?

- I didnt want to say this,

but you clearly want to

have sex with Abraham Lincoln!

That's crazy!

Is it?

Look around you, Ronny

- You're obsessed with him

- He was a great man

What's wrong with paying tribute?

Paying tribute is one thing...

trying to turn your girlfriend into him

so you can get a hard-on is another

I'm outta here

Call me when you get some therapy

Sue...

That was my last beard

TV Announcer:

Can the transporter be fixed?

Or is all hopeless for our heroines?

Will Alice and Betty make it home?

Find out next on Babes Lost in Time!

Time

Forward into the past!

Here I come, Abe!

Ladies, you do not...

I repeat, you do not have to

have sex with a guy for him to like you

But it helps

Want to remain a virgin

until you're married?

Two words:
Butt sex

Look, if you like to be choked,

it's okay Everyone likes it... a little

Just don't go too far

Blue is a warning sign

So, what's the kinkiest thing

either one you has ever done in bed?

- Well, um, check it:

- Whoo!

I'm at the club one night,

and I meet this little white chick, right?

So next you know

I get in her ear, man,

and she lets me take her back

to my spot,

and she did me and him

at the same time

- And then she blew us

You're kidding

Whoo, man!

That girl was off the chain, man!

Hey, you know, uh, sh*t,

what can I say?

That little woman had a big ol'

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes