Eye of the Beholder

Come on, baby. It's lunchtime.

Up we go.

Good Morning. Costello Real Estate.|How may I helpyou?

Mr. Costello's offiice.|Good morning.

You are not gonna believe|whatjust came up.

Eeny, meeny, miney-- Lucy.

Howdy, race fans.|How'sithangin'?

It's hangin'just fiine, thanks.

Theboss wantsa word. Itseems wehave|alittle domesticon ourhands.

Can you stall for me?|I'm a little busy.

That'sallright.|I'llsetitup on-line.

Godforbidyouactuallyhave to come out|ofyourholeandtalk likeahuman.

Itmakesme wonder whaty'all did|before computers, Detective.

Anyway, it's all very hush-hush.

I'm going to lay my money on Hugo brat|shacking up with yet another bimbo.

Very embarrassing.|National disgrace.

Sono cops, gotit?|Speak ofthe devil...

here's Hugo.

Okay, we're about to go live.

- Hilary.|- Mr. Hugo, one moment, please.

Putting you through now, sir.|You fat f***.

You're on-line.

- Morning.|-Sir.

Apersonalproblem has developedathome|thatl'dlikeyou to takealookat.

- Yes, sir.|- Nothingserious, really.

Nothing thatagoodkick|in thepants wouldn'tsortout.

Thepants in questionbeing worn|bymy22-year-oldson Paul.

Isuspecthe'sbeenstealingmoney|from a trustaccount.

I wantyou to fiindout|whathe's up to.

Yes, sir.

Thankyou. Good morning.

Good morning.

Beauty is in the eye|ofthe beholder.

Hil?

He walks. He talks.|He's alive!

I'll call you from the trenches.

Here, I got you something.

" Portland, Oregon."

- It's the same one as Cincinnati.|- Nonsense.

- It's the same buildings.|- It's not.

- Is too.|- It's not.

Doyou always park in front|offiire hydrants, sir?

Yes.

Are you gonna stop parking|in front offiire hydrants?

- No.|- And why's that?

My apologies, sir.|You have a nice day, now.

Who is he?

Some embassy brat,|forged Daddy's signature.

He's making a cash withdrawal|for someone.

- And who is she?|- I don't know. We've never seen her.

I bet she's pretty.

I bet she's not.

- Which one?|- There.

- This one?|- No.

No? Not this one?

- The other one.|- Yes?

The guy behind him.

Not the bum.

God bless America.|Can you spare any change?

Anyone.|You got a dollar for me, please?

Please.|Please, help me out.

One, three, three, four.

Why don'tyou take|any pictures ofme, Daddy?

Sweetheart, I never go anywhere|withoutyour picture. You know that.

I mean other pictures.

Sure, I used to take lots.

Doyou remember Sea World?|The dolphins and the clowns on skis.

Doyou remember?|You werejust a baby at the time.

No. Where are they?

Your mother has them, along with|everything else with your name on it.

At least she was there|when I got home from school.

She didn't spend herwhole life|staring at dumb computer screens.

Lucy!

Stephen, Stephen, Stephen.

- Where's themoney, Paul?|- What?

- Themoney.|- It's in mybag, safeandsound.

Good. This isnice, hmm?

Doyoulikeit?|Nobody cansee us foramillionmiles.

Everbroughtany womenhere?

- Ihavebeenknown to on occasion.|- Ididn't thinkso.

Ibroughtyou.

I'm notother women.

- Passmemy Gitanes.|- Your what?

- Gitanes. Cigarettes.|- Gitanes cigarettes.

- Whatis this?A shark?A fiish?|- Oh, no. It'sa Pisces.

A Pisces!How '70s.|What, youactuallyinto thatcrap?

-Asamatteroffact, lam.|- Well, I'm a Leo.

Hey, whatdoyou think ofthat?|A sharkandalion.

So doyou--|So tellme.

Doyouswim around|all dayeatingplankton...

ordoyoubite theheads|offlittle fiish?

Oh, Piscesarebroad-minded,|artistic...

andsensitive.

We'realso extremelyselfiish...

manic-depressivesubstanceabusers.

All depends on whatside|ofthebedlgetup on.

Don'tforgetabout|who's inbedwithyou, huh?

- Wait.|- Wait? What? What?

- Now we'regoing toplayagame.|-A game?

Baby!

Whatareyoudoing?

- Getdownnow.|- Down, yes. How?

- Getdown onyourknees.|- Youkinkylittle--

I-- Oh!

Oh, my.

Oh, yes.

Where'dyougo?|Comehere.

Merry Christmas, Daddy!

Merry Christmas.

F***in' phone.

Don'tleaveher, Daddy.

She'sjustalittle girl.

Don'tleaveheralone.

Doyou wantyour change?

- Where's the phone.|- Out back, past the cash registers.

Oh, come on.

Doyou have another phone?|It's an emergency.

- Doyou have another phone?|- Nah.

Cash registers kept smashin' 'em|to pieces lookin' for quarters.

- Here. I oweyou ten bucks.|- Come on. Come on!

I want to come home.|It's Christmas, for Christ's sake.

Youdon'treallyhave to comehome|anymore, dear, doyou?

Youcan e-mailme, or we can talk|on this thingyou've givenme.

I gotta go, Mother.|I'll call you back.

Hilary--

- You're in the pool.|- Hi, Hil.

Well, well, well. Lucky legs.|Nice to seeyour smiling face.

Loveyour work, let's do lunch|andwheneveryou're ready.

The eye which is reflected|to the external world...

is also the mirror|to the soul within.

Ident, ifyou please.

Beautyis in the eye ofthebeholder.

I'm alittle outofmy depthhere.|We'regonnahave to callabreach3.

I got a breach 3.

What thehell|areyoudoingonhard-line?

My cell phone and GPS went down.|I had an accident.

I'm runninga trace.|Pittsburgh, correct?

- Correct, train station.|- Okay, gotit.

- Whatdoyouneed?|- State police, federal, whoever's near.

Suspect's about to board|a train to New York City...

and may be traveling|under the alias of--

- Lucy.|- Underthealias of?.

- Underthealias of?.|- Lucy?

Talk tome, Lucky.

Lucky?|Underthealias of?.

- Lucky, what'sgoingon?|- Don't tell, don't tell, don't tell.

Detective! Wilson, what the|hell'sgoingon out there?

- Wait a minute.|- What'shappening?

- Wait a minute.|- Don't tell, don't tell, don't tell.

Look, you're wasting timehere.|I'msending in the troopers.

Don'tleaveher.|She'sjustalittle girl.

- No, don't do that.|- Well, you have a breach 3.

Then suddenlyyou don't.|What's up? What's the matter?

Nothing, nothing.|I'llhave togo. I'll callin.

- Lucky!|- Here we go again.

He's gotten a lot worse since|his wife and kid went AWOL.

Well, why don'tyou stickyour business|where the sun don't shine?

- How'd it go?|- Nothing.

No match, no fiingerprints.|Nothing.

- Is she real?|- She's real, all right. A real pro.

Acid wash would burn|her fiingerprints right off.

- Can I getyou something to drink?|- Scotch, rocks with some bitters.

Thankyou.

- Can I getyou something to drink?|- I'll have a vodka and orange.

Happy New Year.

- Doyou mind ifl flirt with you?|- Seeing how timing is everything...

why don'tyou wait until|I'm done reading my stars?

MickeyArgyle.

- Dorothy Bishop.|- Pleasure.

Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt,|butyou're not from Cleveland, areyou?

- No.|- Your name isn't Gail Fleming?

- No, it isn't.|- I'm sorry.

A friend from Cleveland used to go out|with a girl who lookedjust like--

But that was a while back.

I have never been to Cleveland,|and everybody looks like somebody else.

I'll drink to that, toots.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

May I please have my cognac?|I've been waiting 20 minutes.

Oh, yeah. Sorry.

Would you mind, please, sir?|The cognac?

So she says to me...

it's her or thejewels.

I chose to keep thejewels.

Myjewels.

You know, you have beautiful eyes.

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