Eye of the Beholder Page #2

Unalloyed, unblemished black opal.

Almost perfect.

An expert. How fortunate.

Absolutely-tutely.

Voila.

Impressive.

Larry!

My minkwas right here.|Oh, my God.

Somebody has taken my mink coat!

Very nice.

And this opal would retail|for approximatelywhat?

- Five thousand.|- Pisces.

- Could you give me possibly--|- It'sallin thehands ofthegods.

Maybe we should have a couple ofkids.|What doyou think?

Lay offme. Please?

Hey, lady, I think|it's timeyou went home.

Merry Christmas, Daddy.

Merry f***ing Christmas.

I wishyoubluebirds

In thespring

To giveyourheartasong tosing

- Lucy.|- Andthenakiss

Butmore than this

I wishyoulove

AndinJuly

A lemonade to coolyou with

- Lucy, be quiet.|- Someleafyglade

I wishyouhealth

Butmore than wealth

I wishyoulove

- Mybreakingheart|- Stop sing--

Andlagree

Thatyouandl

Couldneverbe

So with mybest|My verybest

Isetyoufree

- I wishyou--|- Lucy, be quiet!

I'm sorry.

I wishyouhealth

Butmore than wealth

I wishyou

I wishyoubluebirds in thespring

Harry, can'tyou read the sign|that says "no pets"?

- This place doesn't allow goldfiish.|- They don't make noise.

Debra.|A gentle reminder, darling.

Take outyour own trash|on Tuesday and Thursday.

- Ofcourse.|- And don't throw it in the street.

Throw it in a bin.

- Tell your boyfriend to do the same.|- Which one?

The one who's been|following you around all week.

You know the one.|The one who waits outside foryou...

and follows you around|like a lost dog.

- You know.|- Describe him.

Oh, so-so.|Average height.

Normal looking.

At my age,|they all look the same.

Haveanice day.

Yo, taxi!

Hey, holdup!

Yo, babe.

- Come on. Don't be so antisocial.|- You gotta gimme some ofthat.

- Nuts!|- You ain't gettin' none ofthat.

Howthe f*** didyougetinhere?

Guy downstairs gave me the key.

Your name Debra Yates?

Detective Crocker, NYPD.

What can I do foryou, Detective?

You, uh...

droppedyour Pisces.

- I've never seen it before.|- Oh, yes, you have.

Theguy downstairssays|you're from SaltLake City.

That's right.

Isn't it against the law to walk away|from the scene ofan accident...

in Salt Lake City?

It's against the law|here in New York.

What can I do foryou, Detective?

Come again?

How much is this gonna cost me?

- Areyou bribing me?|- Yes, I am.

How much?

Okay. A thousand dollars|and a shot ofsome ofthat...

whatever it is.

It's cognac.

- Whatdoyoudo foraliving?|- I'm a wigmaker.

I'm here drumming upsomebusiness.

You sureyou got|a thousand dollars?

No.

But I'm sure we can come to|some kind ofan arrangement.

I'm sureyou're right.

Don't touch that.

Lady, can I get that foryou?

Sir. Sir!

Taxi!

I'm tired, Daddy.|I want to go home.

Soon, sweetheart.

What are we doing here?|It's late.

I'm sorry, baby.|We can't goyet.

Notyet.|Ifl blink, I might lose her.

So?

So the last time I blinked,|I lostyou...

I lost mywife|and I nearly lost my mind.

I can't lose her.

I'll be with you in a minute,|ma'am.

Sorry about the wait. Your brandy,|sir. That's six dollars, please.

Oh, thankyou.|Hereyou are.

- I'm sorry, sir. That's a fiive.|- Pardon?

No, isn't.|It's a ten, you snake.

Oh, gosh, so it is.

Your drink, sir.

- And your change.|- Keep the change.

Thankyou very much.

Happens all the time.

Waiters, taxi drivers, they all|try it on. I fiind it quite amusing.

You see, I can tell the difference|between a fiive and a ten.

- How?|- I fold them differently.

Short for a fiive|and long for a ten.

Cheers.

What areyou reading?

Numerology.

Areyou amateur or a professional?

Oh, I might be|professional someday.

- When wereyou born, Mr.--|- Leonard.

Alexander Leonard.

Pleased to makeyour acquaintance.

Vincent, Charlotte.

How doyou do?

So, the fox in the mink?|Cool as a cucumber.

She's gonna take the poor bastard|for everything he's got.

Well, that's my flight, Charlotte.

Thanks again.

It's my flight too.

- Oh.|- May I giveyou a hand?

You want to help me?

What's the procedure?

Verywell.|I takeyour arm and you lead.

Your heart is beating so fast.|Why is that?

Oh, I was a little nervous...

that someone might|show up at the airport.

Oh, don't worry.|On the arms ofa blind man...

is the safest place for|a beautiful woman to be.

Sir, sir!|You forgot this!

The eye which is reflected|to the external world...

is also the mirror|to the soul within.

- Ident.|- Beautyis in the eye ofthebeholder.

Where the hell haveyou been?|You go shitting through a tea towel.

- You'vegot tospeak to theboss.|- Stall for me.

Look, tell him Paul Hugo now goes|under the name of Barry Grible.

He spent a week in Montreal, and then|he went to Seattle with a girl.

He's on his way to Rome now. I'm on him,|but the plane's about to board.

I'm gonna send you a sample, Hil.

I wantyou torun|a fulIDNA testonitforme.

- It'sapubichair.|- Not until you tell me what's going on.

Nothing'sgoingon.|I'm close, that'sall.

Don't do this. I'm not putting|my ass on the line again.

Look, this is not about the kid.|Hilary, look, this is legit.

Hil. Hilary.

- You son ofa b*tch.|- That's my girl.

So I'll send this toyou today.|It should reach you byThursday.

I have to go, Hil.

Well, well, whatis this?

Mr. Leonard.

I tell you, it wasn't me.|I don't know whatyou're talking about.

Even so, it's lovely.|Step.

Here, let me feel it.

- Is thatit?lt'samere trinket.|- It's verysweet.

- Ihaveamuchbiggersurprise foryou.|- Oh, my.

An oldfriendpassedaway|leavingme with this eyesore...

andl'vebeenscratching myhead|wondering what to do withit.

Andwhatdoyou|intendto do withit?

Doyou want tobean|amateurallyourlife?

Whatcan lsay?|It's fantastic.

So do we consider|ourselvespartners?

Ifyouinsist.

Like I said, ifyou like her so much,|why don'tyou talk to her?

- I don't talk to anyone.|- You talk to me.

- You're not real.|- Oops. Time.

He loves her...

and he's going to|take her away from you.

Not ifshe does him in fiirst.

You'rejealous, Daddy.

And you're not!

Ihereby declare Charlotte's den|ofastrologyandnumerology...

offiicially open.

- Did I get it, darling?|- It was perfect.

Okay, this isit. This is thelast|lcan do. Thenyoufiile thereport.

Soitlooks likeyour|sweetlittlehair came through.

- What?|- The DNA test.

She'sgotarecord.

- When did this come through?|- Yesterday.

- Yesterday?|- Hey, I'm on the line as it is.

- So cut the crap.|- I'msorry.

Just pipe this one through.

I'll wrap it up and oweyou my life.|Just nameyour price.

That'smore likeit.|Thankyou.

Okay, sohere comes.

- There. How'dyougo?|- Oh, Hil, marry me.

I'll need everything you've got|on this probation report.

Was thataproposalthatlheard|justpass throughyourlips?

Next ofkin.

Joanna Eris.

- Charlotte.|- Good morning, Mr. Leonard.

- You're early as usual.|- Good morning toyou, Miss Vincent.

Now areyou ready to be dazzled|by my fiine wines?

I can hardlywait.|Dazzle away.

You're leaving.

- I'll be back in a few days.|- No, you're not.

You're leaving me again,|just like last time.

I didn't leave anybody.|Your mother left me.

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