F*** the Prom Page #3

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Since when have you spoken up

about anything, you basic b*tch?

City, find your chill.

Why?

Because suddenly life isn't

perfect for Little Miss Popular

and now she wants

her revenge?

Why should I

give a sh*t?

City...

Who! Excuse me, Tighty,

didn't see you there.

Don't call him that.

What is up with you, Maddy?

Taking selfies

with this loser

and not returning my texts?

I almost got desperate

and used my phone...

as a phone...

to like actually call you.

What are you

looking at, Stuffs?

My name is...

You know what?

Forget everything I just said.

I'm in.

[inspiring music]

Principal Statszill here.

Another inspiring day

comes to a close,

here at Charles Adams High.

Whoo!

I've been fielding complaints

from the juniors

about the amount of time I spend

discussing the senior prom.

I say...

Get a senior to take you.

It's only statutory

if you get caught.

Oh, and finals are

right around the corner.

So, uh...

Study, I guess.

[toilet flushing]

Stay away from me.

I came to pee and you were

an unfortunate byproduct.

So gladly.

Marissa, wait.

Yes?

How long has it been going on

between you and Kane?

Depends.

Does sending him nudes

count as the beginning?

Wow.

Typical Marissa.

Yes, yes, yes.

Typical whore Marissa.

Way to slut shame.

He was my boyfriend.

And you were supposed to be

my best friend.

We may be the M&Ms,

but everyone knows

it's all about Maddy.

And her hairstyles, and her

Instagram, and her boyfriend.

None of that is my fault.

What about giving me

an eating disorder

by yelling, "Delete it. Fat."

any time I post

a bikini pic on Instagram?

I was trying to be helpful.

And never tagging me

in any pics of us,

claiming you'll never

do that for anyone,

just so you'll get

more followers.

And then you go

and tag Tighty? WTF?

Oh, enough with

the abbreviating.

Tagging you on Instagram and

hooking up with my boyfriend

are not even in

the same universe.

The BF you wouldn't even

have if it weren't for me.

Stop abbreviating!

You...

Wait, what?

The only reason Kane was in

the gym during cheer practice

and saved you from that

basket toss gone awry,

was because I texted him.

Then with fate's cruel twist,

you landed in his arms.

Your perfect meeting

was an accident.

Not some Disney princess

destiny bullshit.

So why are you

doing this now?

Easy. Prom.

I know how much being

crowned queen means to you.

Which only makes me

want it more.

And being with Kane

equals prom queen, pidge.

Now just reflect

and listen to

my urine hit the water.

[urinating]

I reflected.

My whole life has

been a lie.

Excuse me! [sobbing]

Ready to do this, Dadner?

Hell, yeah.

I feel the fire

And it's gonna be down

All the way to the basement

I'm missing a piece

Of my beating heart

And I need something

To replace it

- How do you do this?

- [camera clicking]

Thirty-nine more.

Here we go.

[camera clicking]

You got just what I need

You're where

I gotta be

I just can't stay away

Baby girl can't stay away

Baby, I'm just like

An addict

You're becoming

A favorite habit

I just can't stay away

Baby girl can't stay away

Oh, baby, I'm just like

An addict

You're becoming

A favorite habit

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Yeah, we're gonna need

more people to pull this off.

Who would wanna

help us?

Every kid you and your

ex-friends ever made fun of.

[rock music playing]

[inaudible dialog]

What's up, big guy?

Not today, you guys.

I got you a pulled

pork sandwich.

No, that's...

You're not gonna believe

what I got for you.

A little hot dog.

My mom packed

you a necklace.

- Wait, no. Please...

- Sausage links.

Oh, look at that.

Fresh ham,

right out the deli.

Hanks are

non-kosher, okay.

How about this one?

Oh!

Could you pick that up

for me, please?

I can't move without it

on my head.

You guys are killing me

right now. Just...

I have to get to class.

Shut up, Strings.

It's called a tzitzit.

Yeah, whatever, Strings.

[both chanting] Strings,

Strings, Strings,

Strings,

Strings, Strings,

Strings,

Strings, Strings...

[chanting continues]

OMG.

You're so sweaty.

It's like your body is

literally crying for help.

I can't believe you're

talking to me.

Not kidding, but the sweat

stain on your back

literally looks like the

United States of America.

I'm posting this.

Sweat that makes up stains

in an abnormal way

is seriously gross.

[students screaming]

[girl] Ew.

You look like a swamp.

Did you jump in the pool?

It's not my fault!

I have a glandular issue.

[students laugh]

"Boo Radley was an outsider.

A recluse who never left

his house, thanks to..."

[all murmuring]

"The terrible rumors

spread about him..."

[boy] ...those titties.

Those were supposed to

be for my boyfriend!

Please stop spreading

them around.

You shared it with them?

Whatever.

You shouldn't have

trusted me.

[students chanting]

Tig, Tig, Tig, Tig!

Tig, Tig, Tig, Tig!

Tig, Tig, Tig, Tig!

Tig, Tig, Tig, Tig!

Tig, Tig, Tig, Tig!

High school is

the God damn worst.

[students continue chanting]

[teacher] Who here

did the reading,

and knows the difference

between DNA and RNA?

Emile?

[high-pitched squawking voice]

The difference is...

Wait, I'm sorry, what?

[phone beeping]

The difference is...

Anyone else?

Yes, Achiva?

[Emile on tape]

The difference is...

He sounds like

a sick parrot.

Squawk, squawk, little bird.

He's such a nerd!

[all laughing]

[students jeering]

[laughing]

[squawking mockingly]

I'll never speak again.

[heartbeat pulsating]

[camera clicks]

- [buzzer rings]

- Whoo!

[students cheering]

Legals! Legals! Legals!

Okay, here's the sich, people,

we are going to destroy prom

for all the a-holes who

destroyed high school for us.

Seriously, who cares

about the stupid prom?

Pretty much

everyone at school,

except for us.

How do we know that

this isn't some

cruel game that

she is playing

to humiliate us later, huh?

I would never do that.

So we're just supposed

to forget

about all the pain your

people put us through

and help you out?

Yeah, no way.

I'm out.

Listen.

Here's something I've

learned the hard way.

Popularity is just some

ridiculous concept

that ruins people's lives.

Truth is,

you're the lucky ones.

I'm envious of

all of you.

An M&M is envious?

- Of us?

- Yes.

Despite being rejected, you all

have stayed true to yourselves.

I've always done everything

in my power to fit in.

And I'll admit my reasons

for doing this are pathetic.

My popular boyfriend leaves

me for my popular best friend.

Big deal, right?

But it's not too late to

correct the errors of my ways.

I don't deserve your trust.

[sighs]

But I do wanna

change things.

Together we can

make a statement.

So what do you say?

I have no idea how we

all understood that, but...

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