Fack ju Goehte 2 Page #6

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they're 'Jacuzzis'!

You're invading our territory.

There is no Ass-Acres on the map.

You're not Thai.

Maybe he's a lady boy,

there are lots in Thailand.

We're Dek Talay Tui, children of

the wave.

Our parents died in the tsunami.

It must've swept you here

via the Elbe river?

My father had a hotel in Khao Lak.

He's dead.

Piss off or we'll kill you.

Sh*t!

Help us and we'll forget your

little assault. - This is child abuse!

I'm sure the Thai cops would love

to put you all in juvenile prison.

Help you with what?

- Diving.

Sorry, we can't swim.

- I see.

So how'd the little Ninja commando

just swim under my boat?

What are you?

- Teacher.

What?

Who's that?

He's an orphan too.

They're friends.

They're expressing sympathy.

Our stuff!

Our phones!

We'll help you.

But we want something.

5 McDonald's vouchers for each of us.

Two.

Three.

Even dumber than you.

You look really attractive now.

Mr. Miller!

Mr. Miller!

Mr. Miller!

What do you want?

We read the book and summarized it.

Which book?

- The Faust.

Stop lying.

- Really, I swear.

My eyes are still bleeding.

No idea who wrote it,

but he was crazy, that Penguin guy.

Goethe.

Yeah him.

So it's like this.

There's the devil and he's got a bet

with The Fau er, Faust.

He's unhappy too.

- Like you. - Exactly.

The devil takes his soul,

and in return he has fun and stuff,

but the devil's a son-of-a-b*tch.

He totally cheats and The Faust

sees it too late. - Faust, dude.

Yeah, because he doesn't have

a 10b class to help him.

Here are our interpretations.

And we couldn't even Google it.

You're like Faust.

But you'll stay a teacher.

And you didn't kill

Ms. Schnabelstedfs mother.

Did you seriously

read that shitty book?

So we could explain it to you.

First lesson!

Now you don't have to be afraid

you can't teach us anything.

And you're not 'uncompetent'.

The other teachers

are much more 'retardeder' than you.

What are you doing?

I'm googling bread on a stick,

you dipshits. - Great!

Are there gas stations

everywhere in the world?

So.

A short break.

Everyone can pick something,

but no more than 40 euros.

Peace!

You pack quite a punch,

almost put me out.

Martial arts, eh?

- Yeah, a little.

Spent time on the streets

as a kid, right?

I saw you hanging out with

the homeless kids. Be careful.

They're trouble.

So? My students are too.

Why not help them instead of

building solar bungalows?

It's our partner school.

How we help them is our decision.

Your student's smoking near the pump.

Chantal!

Get the flame closer to the pump.

Closer!

Even closer!

Oh, Mr. Miller, you're such a prankster.

Small, sad world of Goethe High.

1, 2, 3,4.

Statistically,

the most common mobile phone PIN.

Diamonds? Forged documents?

Best to delete text messages like that.

What do you want? - The question is

what don't we want, Mr. mini Ripley.

We don't want Gerster to report you

for forgery and endangering children.

Or that Elisabeth gets dragged

into all this. Hey, don't even!

I could've killed you yesterday, but I

wanted to spare my students a body.

I'll give you 15%.

F*** your diamonds.

Get them and piss off.

This is a Schiller school project,

including the homeless kids.

Good luck at your retard school.

How's my top teacher?

Hello?

What are you wearing?

I bought it for the school trip.

I'm sooo hungry!

I have a confession.

- OK, not enough push up.

I happen to have another one.

I'm only here for the diamonds.

- What diamonds?

Oh, my God.

What's with Ploppi?

- What were you doing?

The question is what are you doing?

Looking for diamonds!?

Musti's loot. My accomplice.

That's why you wanted

to go on the class trip?

Was anyone endangered?

Calm down. They revived me.

They revived you?

- Yeah.

You're such an idiot sometimes!

I thought the job

meant something to you.

Because you could change their futures.

You could've been the person

that you never had.

Maybe you see more in me

than there is.

If you're trying to make me yell

and break up, forget it.

I'm not making it that easy for you.

Pull yourself together; get back

to the man I fell in love with,

the one I can be proud of.

Unless he was just an invention.

Hey, tattletale.

- Don't hit me!

Maybe I'll give you a nice,

tight hug, Etienne, huh? - No!

F***, that burns!

- Sh*t, Daniel, what was that?

I put chili in your condoms. I promised

your sister no secret shagging.

Sounds like a few days of celibacy.

That burns. - Mr. Miller,

when do we get our cell phones back?

When you can spell it.

- S.E.L.L F.O.N

I wanted to tell you that my mother

never came to parents day

because she was drunk and I was ashamed.

The gifted thing was a dream.

Like I could really

become somebody, later.

That was f***ed up of me.

I didn't mean

- Haters are my motivators.

Now I know I don't have to go to college

and have more time for a real career.

Such as?

YouTube star!

It was a hobby,

but now I'm a professional.

I'm rehearsing a nail tutorial.

Brilliant.

And why didn't your parents

come to parents day?

Because we hate our parents.

- And they hate us.

Why do you think we like YOU so much?

I like my mother.

Shut up, Meike.

- You wuss!

You don't know what it's like

to have no parents?

Unfortunately not.

You get your phones for one hour.

Brilliant!

- I sent a few text messages. - What?

Oh, man, my credit!

- Shut up, Chantal.

I wrote to the people you despise,

who you disappoint

and degrade as much as you can.

I mean your parents.

Who gave up alcohol

and nicotine for nine months,

most of them anyway.

- Not yours.

And who had to watch helplessly

as their innocent, sweet babies

became shitheads.

- What did you write?

Read it.

Mom, dad, thanks to Mr. Miller,

this is the nicest place I've been.

A lie.

- But I'm totally homesick.

I know I never say so, but I love you.

God, how embarrassing.

- Oh my God.

I hope you can forgive me

for not always being

the way you imagined.

I want to become a better person.

- How could he! - He's lost it..

Turn your phones on!

Give your phone to the person

next to you.

Etienne, you start.

Danger, give him your phone.

Stop that!

Daniel, you made your mother cry.

Tears of joy. She printed your text

and put it in the photo album.

We know your intentions are good

and we're always behind you.

When you're back,

you get your own room.

Sweet'.

- And probably even a kiss.

I know you're making a face right now.

And we love you for that,

mom and dad.

Canim benim.

Zeynep's is written in code, Mr. Miller.

- Girl, you are so stupid.

My parents are from Turkey.

- Give it to me.

My darling,

you moved our hearts tonight.

You are my star,

my sun, my pride and joy.

If I sometimes love your brother more,

'Yo', it's only because I ..

'YO'-duty!

' What? NO!

Because I know you're strong

and you're something special.

You got your grandmother's beauty.

Oh, she's so beautiful.

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