Fame Page #9

- It might relax you.

- It's all right. I have a lot on my mind.

I understand.

- What?

- Come here.

- Oh.

- That's it. I want you to sit right here.

We're gonna do a lovely close-up

of that beautiful face.

I get nervous at first with cold readings,

but then I'm all right.

Don't worry about that.

We'll get to the dialogue later.

- So, you like art movies, huh, Coco?

- Antonioni and those people? Sure.

It beats watching Laverne & Shirley.

Coco, you don't know

what you're doing to my lens.

You have a natural rapport

with the camera.

It's unbelievable. Some performers

can make love to the camera.

Garbo did.

Monroe did.

So could you.

- Yeah?

- Oh, yeah.

Could you take your top off, please?

- What?

- Could you take your blouse off?

- Are you kidding?

- No, I'm not kidding.

What's the matter?

You're acting like some dumb kid.

- I thought you were a professional.

- I am.

Well, then what's the problem?

I can't.

That's better.

That's lovely.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Could you arch your back?

Arch your back a little, Coco.

It's tres jolie, Coco, it's tres jolie.

Smile for me, Coco.

Come on, Coco. Smile, smile.

Smile for me.

Now take your thumb...

...and put it in your mouth...

...like a little schoolgirl.

You ever notice

black news reporters...

...get hired because

they have white accents?

They should hire a more natural guy,

a dude from the street.

"This is Rufus X with the news... "

I need something.

Sleep.

- Something to keep me flying.

- Like what?

Like by way of your witch doctor.

I don't see Dr. Golden anymore.

You know that.

Anyway, you've been taking too much.

- Thanks, Marcus Welby.

- I know what I'm talking about.

Why don't you get off my f***ing case?

- I'm your friend.

- You're my friend? Really?

I know what you've been

after, you goddamn f*ggot.

I gotta go to the bathroom.

Good. You do that.

Hi. You got a problem?

Yeah, I do.

- We never see you anymore.

- You see me plenty.

Drinking with your new friends

after the show.

After the show is when

all the big names come in.

You meet people. That's what counts.

I hate drinking. I'm doing this

for my future. For our future.

You're doing this for some image,

for Freddie because he did it.

- Yeah? Maybe.

- Yeah? Well, he died doing it.

- He could have been a real actor.

- He was!

He was funny and charming

and he made people laugh. That's it.

- That's plenty!

- That's not enough! Not for you!

- Jesus Christ!

- You are good, Ralph.

- You're seriously really good.

- Jesus.

You're full of rage and pain and love.

Not just jokes. You're an original.

The original Ralph Garci.

- You don't have to be somebody else.

- You're bringing me down!

Don't be somebody else.

- You're bringing me f***ing down!

- I'm sorry!

I gotta go make people laugh, and

you're talking about rage and pain.

- I said I'm sorry!

- It takes f***ing wings.

Miss Seriously, let me tear flypaper, huh?

Give me a f***ing break, honey!

Give me a f***ing break.

Okay, pal? Thank you.

- What's happening to you?

- What's happening to me? Success.

Now, you either hang on or hang up.

All right?

It's a great pleasure to introduce

a young man who's funny and loud.

Especially during my act.

Please welcome the comedy stylings

of Ralph Garci, ladies and gentlemen.

That's right. My name is Ralph Garci,

and I'm a professional a**hole.

That's right. I see we have a couple

of amateurs in the audience tonight.

Don't we?

I see. How about sign language?

We have a standing ovation

over there.

That's great. Hon, where you from?

Okey-dokey. That's my best friend.

Yeah, friends are important.

You know, I...

I live in the South Bronx, and up there,

you got the Harlems of

Sh*t! I'm sorry.

Excuse me. F*** it.

That was supposed to be...

The north- The countries north

of Harlem and west of Puerto Rico.

That's what it was supposed to be.

Yes, indeed it was.

Anyway, there's lots of things there:

Rats, cockroaches,

and, you know, little bugs.

You know what cockroaches are?

Little things that crawl in the night.

Listen, I don't mean to alarm you,

but if you don't laugh, you'll get cancer.

Sorry. That was probably in bad taste,

and I didn't really...

Excuse me. F*** it.

Thank you very much.

What do you want?

Pizza sounds good.

You wanna eat?

Could you give me a break, all right?

We could split a special,

with anchovies, maybe.

F*** anchovies. I died out there,

you're talking about f***ing pizzas?

- No, I'm talking about eating pizzas.

- Oh, that's very funny. You're a howl.

You should have been out there.

The audience hated me.

- You had a bad night. That happens.

- Not to me, it doesn't.

What do you want? Insurance?

You're in the wrong business.

Performers aren't safe.

We're pie-in-the-face people.

Look, don't lecture me.

All right, Sir Laurence?

All anyone ever promised you was

seven classes a day and a hot lunch.

The rest is up to you.

Back in the Middle Ages, actors,

they didn't even want to bury us.

Well, they do now.

Not if you're good.

How do you know?

How do you know if you're good?

Maybe you never know.

You just hang in, I guess.

You know the weirdest thing...

...is Freddie.

When he made it, he realized

it was everything he hated.

Cadillac Eldorado.

Pocketful of Quaaludes.

Johnny Carson.

It was no special sh*t.

You're not Freddie, Ralph.

I know that. I know.

Know something else about Freddie?

Freddie didn't even want to be Freddie.

- No?

- No. He wanted to be Joe Namath.

You laughed.

- Guess I'm funny.

- Let's get out of here.

5'7"?

Okay, you're finished.

Stand over there.

Go on. Keep the line moving.

Come on.

I sing the body electric

I celebrate the me yet to come

I toast to my own reunion

When I become one with the sun

And I'll look back on Venus

I'll look back on Mars

And I'll burn with the fire

Of 10 million stars

And in time, and in time

We will all be stars

I sing the body electric

I glory in the glow of rebirth

Creating my own tomorrow

When I shall embody the earth

- And I'll serenade Venus

- And I'll serenade Venus

- I'll serenade Mars

- I'll serenade Mars

- And I'll burn with the fire

- And I'll burn with the fire

- Of 10 million stars

- Of 10 million stars

- And in time, and in time

- And in time, and in time

- We will all be stars

- We will all be stars

Yeah

- Ooh, yeah

- Yeah, yeah

We are the emperors now

And we are the czars

- And in time

- And in time

We will all be

- I sing the body electric

- Stars

I celebrate the me yet to come

- I toast to my own reunion

- My own reunion

When I become one with the sun

- And I'll look back on Venus

- Look back on Venus

- I'll look back on Mars

- Look back on Mars

- And I'll burn with the fire

- Burn

Of 10 million stars

- And in time, and in time

- And in time

- And in time, and in time

- And in time

- And in time

- And in time

We will all be

Stars

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