Fantozzi Alla Riscossa

FANTOZZI STRIKES BACK

In April of every year, selections were made

for jobs at the big company.

Selections were made based on recommendations.

Threats and blackmails towards elimination of potential adversaries.

All of these initiated and continued

by the big director

Bastard and Jerk,

Dr. Baranbani.

Remember gentlemen, to always be dishonest.

To be disloyal to your colleagues.

Not to have disinterested friendships.

You must use blackmail.

Flatter as much as possible.

Lie often.

Only like this, you will succeed.

If you do not follow these rules,

this will be your future.

Fantozzi !

The retired Fantozzi was called

by the company to make these demonstrations.

For how many years have you been under our rule ?

For ever, I was born an employee.

- How did you start ?

- As a fool.

- You didn't do anything special to deserve more ?

- No.

For example, did you ever prostitute yourself to further your career ?

Not even a small bribe, nothing ?

You didn't spy at all ?

At least an anonymous letter.

I wrote one once.

And what happened ?

I was crucified in the meeting room.

- Why ?

- Accidentally, I signed it.

- If you are brave, tell them !

I'll tell, but what should I say ?

That you are a s.....

I am a stump !

- You are a sh......

- An orange !

Don't drive me crazy.

Say it !

Say that you are a sh.....

- You are a sh.....

- A sh*t !

I am a sh*t !

Sh*t !

Pina ! Pina !

- But what are you doing, Ugo ?

- I am a sh*t !

Flush !

But the release came from an unexpected person .

His niece Uga. Every Friday,

he went to pick her up at ballet school.

They had more free time.

The daughter Mariangela and son-in-law Bongo.

Are you the grandfather ?

- Which one is yours ?

- The one in white.

- What do you think ? That one is my granddaughter.

- Is she yours ?

You know, they are all so much alike...

All.

Yes, all....

Look, what a toad !

A toad, a snake.

- Hello !

- It means it's your granddaughter !

- No, no it isn't.

- She said... grandfather !

She said :
no, no !

She isn't... my girl.

- Grandfather, I'm hot.

- Damn, and it's so cold !

You see that ?

- I want to tell him something.

- Who told you to take it down ?

Listen to me, where are you going ?

Help, help !

- Where is she ?

- Who ?

- My daughter, the ballerina !

- She is my granddaughter.

Her name is Ughina.

Who the heck are you ?

What a pretty girl !

Give her an invitation.

Monday, come meet me.

Uga is a pretty girl.

She will be an actress.

I never though that....

What is this ?

- Cold soup with rice.

- Yes, with rice. From yesterday.

I've been thinking that the girl

is pretty and smart. Did I tell you ?

He told me I am beautiful

and smart.

She is not like Shirley Temple,

but has another style.

You remember that black one, Arnold,

from the TV ?

They said he was a midget

and he became an international star.

- That is a monster, Ugo !

- And our granddaughter isn't....

School will also be a problem.

She has already repeated

first grade twice.

And in the studio environment, there is

the danger that she will lose her head.

I've been wishing to lose

my head for a lifetime.

I want the girl to have

all that I didn't.

- What did you miss, Ugo ?

- I missed everything.

Life didn't give me anything.

Instead of living as I did until now

I could have become a different man.

To turn my life around.

To have money, fancy cars.

Even actresses.

The girl is not mine, she's not yours.

Let's phone her mother.

Of course I agree,

I've also had dreams of being an actress.

I can't hear you because your daughter

is making noise.

Stop !

I have to let you go,

We are going for dinner at the Baobab.

How is Ughina ?

Ciao !

Fantozzi started taking action.

Look !

"Faucet" style !

- How do I look, grandfather ?

- But you can't see a thing like this !

- You can't see my granddaughter's body.

- Better.

You're right, it's better like this.

You know, I am a bit worried.

- Nothing to worry about.

- It's very important to me.

- All this will change my life.

- Of course.

- Excuse me, what is this thing ?

- It's a test polaroid.

Don't move, smile !

What happened ? Did you take it ?

hhh, hhhh, puo...

- I don't know.

- It looks like it spit something out !

- Keep all the little girls here.

- Parents and grandparents, all on this side.

Faster, hurry up.

- Everybody inside, maestro.

- This, not.

This not, this not.

This neither...

There she is !

It's her !

Leave. Get all the girls out.

Hurry up.

Come with us.

Let's get your costume ready.

- You are this thing's parents ?

- Ugo !

Wait, I'm the grandfather.

I'm her grandfather.

I'm the girl's grandfather.

- This is the standard contract.

- Which one, this ?

- You must sign for the minor.

- Of course, I'm her manager.

- Excuse me. I'm here if you would like to ...

- What the hell are you doing here ?

- They are the photographers.

- Come on, sign !

- I'm not signing anything in this darkness.

- Let's go over there, there's more light.

What are you doing there, madam ?

Get out !

- And me, what should I write here ?

- The grandfather of the principal actress.

You know that little square with stars ?

Write :
grandfather of the actress and accountant

Ugo Fantozzi.

Fine, Mr. Fantocci !

With your granddaughter, we'll save on the stunts.

We don't need to replace her

in the dangerous scenes.

What do you mean dangerous ?

What can be dangerous in filming ?

Now what, you want to back out ?

What have you got to lose ?

To write Ugo Fantozzi !

Come on because we start filming, Ugo !

What's the movie name ?

Planet of the Apes, part five.

Take two !

The planet... is part of a series...

- Mama ! I'm hungry !

- Yes, my love.

Our granddaughter must play

the role of a monkey, Ugo !

No, no... our monkey,

I mean...

Which monkey ? It's the monkey's daughter.

Fathered by an american astronaut.

It's a cross.

A hybrid.

- Is the food ready ?

- Come play for a bit.

I'm hungry, mom!

What are you doing ?

You ruined my movie.

How dare you ?

Let me explain.

My wife had a racism fit.

I am going to go to the Society for the Protection of the Animals.

How is this possible, Pina ?

When I finally have a chance to become someone...

You ruin all my success.

Success at your little girl's expense.

How is that ?

What's wrong, grandmother ?

Are you crying ?

My grandmother is crying because I don't want to continue.

Grandfather, why aren't I smart ?

You are very smart,

that's what that gentleman said too.

You would have been perfect for that role.

I want you to grow up as a normal girl.

Give a paw, give a hand...

Another reason for outrage,

he found in the mailbox.

Excuse me !

Pina, Pina !

Employee Paoletti from house no. 7.

Pina, an important message for you.

Your husband was named civil judge. Did you hear ?

Pina, you are the wife of a civil judge.

This is a process against the mob.

Against some criminals.

You know this could be an imprudence.

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