Fart: A Documentary Page #3

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So, occasionally,

you see, look around

then-- then you

let it out like that.

( laughs )

Female interviewer:

Now, are you the kind

of person that laughs

at the general

fart joke?

I laugh at fart jokes

and I laugh at farting.

Right.

I laugh in situations

where people fart.

I mean,

because as I say,

it always has

the potential to be funny.

There are

a variety of reasons

why that's

the case, I think.

Hi, I'm Mr. Safety,

and today I'm gonna teach you

how to hide

your farts in public.

We've got a tennis player

called John Newcombe.

Uh, and it's, um,

it's his birthday today,

so why don't we say,

uh, you celebrate

his great set

of fart

happy birthday

I said, and then

I've got some candles,

we'll put them

on the cake,

and we'll blow

them out.

And, uh,

that was very nice and--

( audience laughing )

You are still going,

I can hear.

I'm ready, yes.

We're going

to celebrate--

this is for

the people at home,

who may-- and people

in the audience,

who may have a birthday.

( host speaking

native language )

We're going to blow

the birthday cake--

- the candles out...

- Okay.

- ...one at a time.

- ( audience laughing )

Ah, just nice and low--

nice and...

( speaking native language )

Just-- just down there

a little...

- A little down there?

- There we go.

Okay, one...

two...

three...

- Is this the last one?

- Yes.

- Make a wish.

- Okay.

( cheers, applause )

And apparently afterwards,

the switchboard

at Channel 9

it was in meltdown.

I mean, it's

a surprising sound anyway.

- But it's surprising

when it comes out of...

- ( fart sound )

...somewhere you not

expecting it to come out of.

Everybody does it,

yet most people

are ashamed to fart.

( fart noise )

Most people don't even

like to talk about it.

They think

it's pretty gross.

( farting sound )

Here at JokeStrap,

we think farting's

pretty hilarious.

( mouthing words )

Hilarious.

( farting noise )

You know what?

It's not just us.

A bunch of my friends

think farts are funny.

Ian Zagaglia:

That's probably

'cause all your friends

are in junior high school.

Both of them.

You know, sometimes

you just gotta let it rip.

And then I get

scared to death

that she's gonna walk

in my office.

I think so.

I mean, I think it's like

with any type of, uh,

socially, uh, maybe less

than acceptable symptom.

It's not something that people

readily discuss.

( farting noise )

( male interviewer speaking )

My kids. Yeah.

My husband.

- My husband.

- My Mom.

( laughing )

And my Dad.

Tolerated at home,

but not in public or in...

And not the dinner table.

That was a big thing.

- ( chattering )

- ( laughter )

Ian Mills:

I'd have to say

eventually, you know,

you learn your boundaries

and other peoples' boundaries.

And then you're,

all right, I'm not...

As soon as

you're done eating,

- it's fair game.

- Female interviewer: Right.

Mills:

'Cause usually,

food creates that.

- ( farting noise )

- ( laughter, applause )

Being a co-worker,

we were at that comfortable

level where we would,

uh, fart around each other.

And they would often

make me go back

and hide

in the ATM room to fart

because they were smelly.

They didn't want me

to do it out in--

where the customers

would come in, but...

So, I don't know

what I had did to her,

but ticked her off

somehow.

So we were down

opening a safe

where you had to have

two people.

So she did her part

and then I went down

to do my part

and her butt

was right by my head

and she farts

and you can, like,

feel it

on your face.

It was the most disgusting thing

I've ever experienced

- in my life.

- ( laughing )

I never had somebody

actually fart on my head

until that point.

Wow.

And I'm hoping

that's the last time, but...

That's not normal

in workplaces,

and it shouldn't be.

You're fast asleep

when I feel one creep

I try to keep it

inside the bed

But like a good wine

That ages with time

Looks rotten

and it's starting to spread

You wake up in fear

That a fire is near

From the smell

of my own Dutch oven...

( farting noise )

Female interviewer:

Have you in present

or past relationships

farted in front

of your other half?

- Yup.

- Yes.

- ( laughing )

- Oh, my gosh, yes.

But farting

is one of those things

that is a sign

of a good relationship,

I think, isn't it?

Our first five years we dated,

he didn't fart at all.

If you can fart

in front of one another...

We got married,

he farted

for a whole frickin' week.

Uh, there's a lovely "homey"

quality to the relationship,

and, uh, you know, it's a

positive thing, isn't it?

Female interviewer:

After five years

you changed your mind

and felt good to go.

- No.

- No, okay.

Started

eating her food.

Seriously, no women

aren't supposed to fart.

- Cameraman:
Why not?

- Well, I don't know.

It's the way

he was brought up.

Very...

I don't know

who told you that.

Oh, uh...

It maybe bothers

you if a woman...

Because a woman

is more delicate?

- And, uh...

- Ladylike.

Ladylike?

But then we have

to put a cork in there.

I have a crazy story

that I don't even know

why I'm admitting this.

But I was dating a man

and we were

at a hotel

and I felt

a fart coming on

and I grabbed

the blanket

and I pulled it up

and I stuffed it in

and it was the worst thing

I ever could have done.

I don't know whether

the acceptability

of family farting

varies much

from family to family.

I guess it must.

I mean, I'm sure

the Queen

and Prince Philip

don't sit there

watching TV at night,

ripping them off,

do they?

- No.

- I'm sure they do.

So they, "Call the butler

to bring the air freshener in,

will you?"

Maybe they do.

I don't know.

The poor guy got to bed

and he said,

"What're you trying

to do, kill me?"

I couldn't be with somebody

that didn't think

that was the funniest thing

in the whole wide world.

I grew up with my parents

having farting contests.

They would start

at the top of the stairs

and see who could go

down and who could keep

farting down the--

- Oh, my gosh.

- That's how I grew up.

People that don't think

it's funny...

Did you have

to eat a special meal

before you did that?

Well, the cousins--

We all have special foods

that we would eat

- and have farting contests.

- ( all laughing )

Growing up,

it was not something

that was easily talked about.

It was kind

of said to be something

that you didn't want

to do in public.

( farting

to "The Blue Danube" )

( audience guffawing )

( cheers and applause )

Yeah, the people--

like my best friend in the world

that does not think

that it's funny.

So it's twice

as funny to me.

So I try to, like, lock all

the windows and I'll be like,

"Oh, did you--

Oh, guess what?"

I had the exact

opposite upbringing.

You know, my Dad

was all about farting

and, you know,

just...

He, uh-- we would

drive around in the car--

he's a classic rock fan,

and he would always try

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