Fast Times at Ridgemont High Page #8

SPICOLI:

I've been swimming, Merv.

The audience howls. It's a famous Spicoli line.

SPICOLI (CONT'D)

Seriously, Merv, everything is

great.

I was thinking about picking up

some hash this weekend, maybe going

up to the mountains.

GRIFFIN:

(concerned)

I wanted to talk a little bit about

school, if I could...

SPICOLI:

School.

(sighs)

School is no problem. All you have

to do is go to get the grades. And

if you know something, all you have

to do is go about half the time.

GRIFFIN:

How often do you go?

SPICOLI:

I don't go at all.

The audience is howling again. He is Merv's

favorite guest.

GRIFFIN:

I hear you brought a film clip with

you. Do you want to set it up for

us?

SPICOLI:

Well, it pretty much speaks for

itself. Peter, you want to run with

it?

EXT. A MASSIVE WAVE - DAY

The film clip begins. It is a mammoth wave cresting

against the blue sky.

SPICOLI (V.O.)

Merv, this is the action down at

Sunset Cliffs at about six in the

morning.

GRIFFIN (V.O.)

Fascinating.

A tiny figure appears at the foot of the wave.

GRIFFIN (CONT'D)

Who's that?

SPICOLI:

That's me, Merv.

The audience gasps.

GRIFFIN (V.O.)

Are you going to ride that wave?

SPICOLI:

Totally.

We watch as Spicoli catches the perfect wave, and

it hurtles him through a turquoise tube of water.

GRIFFIN:

What's going through your mind

right here, Jeff? The danger of it

all?

SPICOLI:

Merv, I'm thinking... I've only got

about four good hours of surfing

left before these little clowns

from junior high start showing up

with their boogie boards.

The audience is howling once again... when suddenly

we hear the loud noise of a door opening, followed

by a shrill voice. It is Spicoli's eight-year-old

brother, Curtis.

Jeff Spicoli's dream of glory evaporates.

INT. SPICOLI'S TRAILER HOME - MORNING

It is a messy trailer, part of a trailer park by

the sea. Spicoli's area is small, but he has made

it his own. The walls are covered with posters,

almost all of them naked centerfolds. It is obvious

Spicoli's parents are not welcome in his room.

CURTIS:

Dad says you have to get up!

SPICOLI:

Ugh.

He groans, starts to struggle out of bed.

SPICOLI (CONT'D)

Leave me alone!

CURTIS:

Dad says you're late again, you

butthole!

SPICOLI:

Leave me alone.

CURTIS:

Dad says!

Spicoli reaches over to the floor next to his bed.

He pulls a snorkel from the mess, heaves it at the

door and his little brother. It bounces off the

wall and doesn't even hit Curtis, but the kid

starts crying anyway.

CURTIS (CONT'D)

Daaaaaaaad! Jeff threw a snorkel at

me!!!!!!

Spicoli gets out of bed, groans again, and kicks

the door shut.

EXT. RIDGEMONT GYMNASIUM

celebrating the big game with rival Lincoln High

School. We see Jeff Spicoli stumble from the

direction of the parking lot. He heads into the

gym, which is already full for a mandatory

assembly.

INT. GYMNASIUM - DOORWAY - DAY

Spicoli wanders into the assembly, takes a seat on

a corner bleacher. He sits just below Brad Hamilton

and Lisa.

On podium in front of assembly, Cindy Carr and

another cheerleader, Dina Phillips, are making a

presentation before the school.

CINDY:

I just want to say that we are not

'Spirit Bunnies' anymore. We always

hated that name. It bugged the heck

out of Dina and me...

DINA:

It's just such a put down.

CINDY:

They don't call the Chess Club

'Checker Champs' or anything like

that. We're going to go to

everything this year, you guys.

We're going to go to soccer,

wrestling, basketball...

everything. We know you've got a

lot of spirit! Everybody --

riiiiiight? And we're gonna destroy

Lincoln next week? Riiiiiiight?

ANGLE ON THE STUDENTS OF RIDGEMONT

They don't respond.

ANGLE ON JEFF SPICOLI

who is asleep in the bleachers.

ANGLE ON BRAD AND LISA

sitting nearby. We hear them over the drone of the

assembly.

BRAD:

Man, I don't even want to see those

guys from Carl's again.

LISA:

If you'd apologize I think Dennis

would take you back.

BRAD:

Apologize to that wimp? No way.

F*** Dennis Taylor.

They sit in silence for a moment.

BRAD (CONT'D)

I'm just glad we're still together,

Lisa, because I need you this year.

LISA:

(sighs)

Look, Brad, I've been trying to

think of a way to tell you this.

We're almost out of high school,

this is our last year. I think we

owe it to ourselves to be free, and

meet some new people. Then, if we

get back together, we'll know it's

the right thing.

TIGHT ANGLE ON BRAD'S FACE

as he accepts the news.

LISA (O.S.) (CONT'D)

But I still want to be friends.

TIGHT ANGLE ON BRAD'S FACE

as it falls slack.

INT. GYM - PODIUM IN FRONT OF ASSEMBLY

CINDY:

We're going to be going to every

game this year. We just want the

crowd to participate and we want

spirit from every little person in

this entire school. Allll-Riiiight?

There is unenthusiastic, minor applause from the

assembled students of Ridgemont High. Vice

Principal Ray Connors, a tough-looking man with an

H.R. Haldeman crew cut, approaches the podium. He

has a sour look on his face.

CONNORS:

Well, thank you, girls. People,

don't forget, the big game is one

week away. We'll see everybody back

here on Monday and have a good

weekend.

For the first time during this assembly, there is a

loud and hearty applause.

A GRAINY HIGH SCHOOL FILM 57

We are suddenly watching a movie shown on a class

projection screen. We see footage of a serene,

middle-class neighborhood -- as seen through the

glass windshield of a car. Judging from the other

vehicles parked on the street, the film is from the

early Sixties. We hear the narrative voice of Desi

Arnaz, speaking in his inimitable Latin accent.

ARNAZ:

Driving ess an important part of

each and every one of our da-ily

lives. Ees a responsibility like no

o-ther and ess a matter of life

and...

A ball comes rolling out into the serene street. A

small child runs out after it. The driving of our

vehicle brakes, but not in time. The film freeze

frames on the terrified face of a child about to be

splattered.

ARNAZ (CONT'D)

Death.

There is a swell of dramatic music.

ARNAZ (CONT'D)

They have foun'... The Braking

Point.

The words flash on the screen and we hear a high

school Driver's Training class groan in mock

horror.

INT. DRIVER TRAINING CLASS - DAY

ANGLE ON CHARLES JEFFERSON AND BRAD HAMILTON

who are seated in this class.

ANGLE ON LINDA AND STACY

sitting together in the class. They are oblivious,

lost in conversation.

STACY:

What do you think of that guy who

works at the theatre? You know,

Mark Ratner.

LINDA:

Oh, come on. What is he? Fifteen?

STACY:

Sixteen.

Linda looks nauseous.

LINDA:

Just watch out if he pulls up in a

van, and then puts on a Led

Zeppelin tape.

INT. DRIVER TRAINING CLASS

The film returns to another serene street scene as

seen through another front windshield.

ARNAZ:

The driver here has had jus' two

drinks. Two drinks at the home of a

frien'.

We hear the very-present sounds of Driver's

Training students.

STUDENT #1

He's f***ed-up, Ricky!

STUDENT #2

They guys a drunk, Ricky!

ARNAZ:

And although this driver thinks he

ees drivin' well, he may be 'doing

okay, but he forgets to per-ceive

what ees real goin' on...

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