Father of Invention Page #8

to the Watchdawg launch.

Well, why don't you

give it to her yourself?

'Cause she won't take it

from me.

She won't even answer her phone,

return my calls.

I wonder why.

Hey, I didn't steal that money,

all right? I was borrowing it.

I was doing everything I could

to save her business.

You were trying

to help yourself.

Well, the two aren't

mutually exclusive.

What you did is not some sort

of Robin Hood thing.

I mean, it was selfish.

It was wrong.

And frankly, it's the same sh*t you've

been doing to her since she was a kid.

Look, I'm a father

and I'm not gonna apologize

for trying to give my daughter

a great life.

You could have just mailed that.

What?

Your stupid invite...

you could have mailed it.

You didn't have to come here

to launder it through me.

I mean, this isn't seventh grade.

Um...

I wanted to see you.

It's the tits, right?

Excuse me?

Are they too low?

What are you talking about?

Well, 'cause, you know,

we kissed a few months ago

and I thought it was

really good.

And I don't know

what you thought,

but you got to my tits

and you shut down.

Would you stop saying

that word?

- Tits?

- Yeah.

Phoebe, I think you're terrific,

but the tough guy talk...

it just sells you short.

And I shut down

because you're my daughter's friend.

And the tits are fine, all right?

They're not too high.

They're not too low.

They're just right where you want them.

# Happy birthday. #

Can I meet you guys at the table

in one second?

- Okay, happy birthday. Love you.

- Happy birthday. We'll be right here.

We've got news.

Big news.

You're pregnant?

No, we're moving to Tampa.

- Tampa?

- I just want to relax

enjoying my husband

for a while.

Wait, what's this really about?

We got an offer on the house...

furniture, cars, everything as-is.

So the only thing left

is your little blue house.

And with any luck,

we're gonna sell that today.

- Wait, to who?

- To you.

The price is $1.

Make the check payable

to Jerry King.

Guys, this is really

not necessary.

Sweetie, I think it's adorable

that you're working in a coffee shop,

but you had a career,

and a good one.

I will get back

to saving the world at some point,

but right now

I just need a break.

This is not a break.

This is a cop-out.

Claire, your mother loves you.

She just doesn't want to see you make

the same mistake she did.

Letting Robert Axle ruin her life?

Not forgiving him.

I'd better go back to work.

G54.

- I26.

- Oh, this is for you.

It's from your dad.

He came by my school.

You still talk to my dad?

G49.

I kissed him, okay?

You kissed him?

I'm sorry.

I really feel like crap. I just...

- You should feel like crap.

- Donna, you're not helping.

I'm not trying to help. After everything

he's done, she's being nice to him?

O61.

It's just that he makes me feel,

like, funnier than I thought I was

and less hideous.

B5.

I don't know, it just felt good

not to be pissed off.

I'm sorry.

Bingo!

I got bingo.

Bingo.

What's next

for one of the most prolific

and unpredictable inventors

in modern history?

In the room today,

financial movers and shakers,

also the tech-savvy

parents and kids

who are just excited

to see this latest invention.

Did I tell you

we're having a boy?

No, Matt, you didn't.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

I really wanted a boy.

You know, Matt, I haven't said it.

I really ought to before I go out there.

Not a lot of people would have

taken a second chance on me.

It means a lot to me.

Thank you so much.

I won't let you down.

Axle, I didn't take

a second chance on you

'cause I'm a good guy.

I did it because

I honestly believe

that you're gonna make me

one of the richest men in the world.

Sorry I'm late.

Hey, Sheila.

The traffic was brutal.

I had to go back by the office

and pick up your lucky picture.

Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome Mr. Robert Axle.

Thank you very much.

Good afternoon.

From the moment

they are conceived,

our greatest fear as parents

is losing our child.

We do everything we can

to keep them near us

and keep them safe.

But sometimes they slip away.

It can happen in shopping malls,

airports.

You know, the...

the truth is

it's not always the kids that get lost.

Sometimes it's us...

the grown-ups, the parent.

And that's certainly true for me.

You see, I was convicted

of gross negligence

because of a product.

I mean, you all know that.

But what I'm really guilty of

is gross negligence

as a father.

And so here I am

giving you another

Robert Axle fabrication,

which is the last thing

I should be doing.

I mean, don't get me wrong.

Watchdawg is a good product.

It serves a purpose.

I'm sure a lot of people will enjoy it.

But it's a Band-Aid.

It's not gonna solve

the disconnect I have with my daughter

or the disconnect that any of us

have with our kids.

I mean, do we really need

another toy

to keep our kids distracted

so that we can feel free

to take our eye off the ball?

We have to learn

to connect to our kids

without the need for this

or the thousands

of other gadgets that we use

to distract ourselves from being

the best parent we can be.

'Cause this...

this isn't the answer

for me anymore.

Sorry I missed your birthday.

How was it?

Good.

But I'm not

much of a birthday girl.

I see. I keep learning new things

about Claire Elizabeth every day...

not much of a birthday girl.

It's Claire Axle.

I'm kind of over the whole

Claire Elizabeth thing.

I'm glad to hear that.

Axle!

You gotta get back there, man.

Matt's going out of his mind.

Why? Does he want to sue me?

Sue you?

He wants to back you.

Back me for what?

Ideas, inventions, consulting.

He doesn't care.

The buyers are going crazy.

Well, you tell Matt

I appreciate the gesture,

but I've got to get a job...

a real job.

You've got a real job, Dad.

You're a fabricator.

Okay, I'm in.

But you tell him

that at the moment

I'm taking a walk with my daughter.

So you go back and work that room

for me, partner,

and I'll join up with you

as soon as I can.

I'm on it.

# You and I

look good together... #

No, you're going b...

# This day is getting #

# A lot better #

# Let's get inside #

# Out of this weather #

# There is no one #

# Loves you better #

# Than me, my dear... #

Does that guy Troy

have a girlfriend?

Are you serious

or are you just trying to freak me out?

A little of both.

# When I first met you, love #

# We held hands

and never looked back #

# And I'll never let you go #

# Even though my family was

freaked out that you were black #

# And now I'm just like a kitten #

# And I'm rolling around

in the grass #

# Come here,

precious little kitty #

# I'm about to tap that ass #

# I'm in love #

# With you #

# Ooh, I'm in love #

# With you #

- # You're my woman #

- # All we need #

- # I'm in love with you #

- # All we need is love #

- # And that's all we need #

- # All we need #

- # Is love #

- # Is love #

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