Father of Invention Page #7

Why are you doing this?

I was the one

that believed in you,

not Mom.

It was me.

And I still believe in you.

Um, I'm not really a hugger.

Okay.

Jesus, Troy.

I blew my knee out

on their nickel.

Not a card,

not a "Hey, Troy, how's your leg?"

I've been assistant GM for three years

and you know what?

There's no GM.

I'm the guy.

They just don't want to give me

the title and have to shell out

an extra $1631 a year.

Where are you going

with this, Troy?

- Shame on you.

- Shame on me?

Not you... Family Mart.

I'm confused.

Are you gonna help me out or not?

Oh, I'm gonna help you,

but it's not for the money,

it's not for the ladies

and it's not for the bling.

This is for principle.

How many painkillers

have you had?

One.

Well, I may have had

an extra Xanax or two.

I just get really nervous in meetings,

especially big ones.

Okay, I'm gonna put my bike in the back

and I'll drive, okay?

- Can I help you?

- Troy.

Hmm?

- Hi. We're here to meet Mike James.

- Matt James.

Matt James.

Aren't you Robert Axle?

This is my partner

Troy Coangelo.

I think you spoke to him on the phone

and set up the appointment.

I sure did.

I made an appointment with Troy.

I did not make an appointment

with Robert Axle.

We're partners.

What difference does that make?

The difference is that I had

no idea that you were coming.

I'm sorry,

is there some problem?

Robert Axle. Wow.

Come on in.

- It's good to meet you guys.

- Great to meet you, Matt.

Troy Coangelo. Where did you get that

receptionist? She's really on the ball.

Oh yeah, Sheila?

She's amazing.

Yeah, you don't want your receptionist

being too hot...

makes things complicated.

She's my wife.

Hey, Sheila, would you be a doll

and get me a diet soda?

Yeah, I'll get right on that.

Ta-dah!

Presenting the Watchdawg.

Wow, that is awesome.

This thing plays MP3s,

music videos,

also takes photographs,

but here's the most unique

thing about it...

It's also a wireless child leash.

- Does the prototype work?

- Does a bear sh*t in the woods, Sheila?

Send it a test to

watchtest@watchdog.org.

Let him hear the music.

Actually I think I might have

forgotten to load the music, Troy.

Email just bounced back.

We're not gonna lie to you,

the prototype is a little shaky.

Look, I'm not gonna say

that this is in perfect shape,

but this can be improved upon.

It is a great idea and I...

I don't know how to tell you this,

but honesty is the best policy here.

I met with Steven Leslie

two days ago.

He pitched something

practically identical to that.

He's coming out with it.

It's called Watch Pal...

fast-tracking it,

wants it in play for the holiday season,

wants us to co-finance.

I met him a few days

before you did.

I pitched him this

and he turned it down.

I'm sorry to hear that.

You know why Family Mart

is the fourth-largest

discount consumer products

retailer in the nation?

No, I do not.

Because it's not Target

and it's not Kmart

and it sure as hell

not Walmart.

It's Family Mart...

the copycat,

the poser, the wannabe.

So if you want to invest

in the Family Mart version

of Watchdawg,

be my freakin' guest.

Oh, in case anybody

was wondering

who might have gotten

a six-figure advance

for the invention of a brand-new

groundbreaking fabrication,

that would be me... Robert Axle.

Yes, the same Robert Axle

who went to prison for eight years,

but now...

did I mention

the six-figure advance?

Anyway, I'm back.

Things are looking better than ever.

Of course I'm gonna have to share

some of that money

with my new partner

Troy Coangelo.

Somebody stole

Donna's identity.

Yeah, and then they racked up

a credit card bill for $5000.

Yeah, and then had the card sent to

a mailbox place right around the corner.

Look, girls,

this is not a problem,

all right?

I've got a check in my pocket

for $125,000.

Let's not let a $5000 check

get us upset, all right?

I'm gonna pay off that credit card

before the first bill comes in.

You are a liar and you are a fake

and you are a phony.

I was rooting for you

this whole time

and you steal from me?

No, I didn't steal from you.

I borrowed from you.

Claire, don't let them do this,

all right? Listen to me. Trust me.

I did trust you.

Look, baby, you want to fund

your center?

Give me six months. We'll have

enough money to fund 10 centers.

There's no we.

There's no we.

It's only you.

It's always been only you.

I give you five minutes

to get the hell out of here

or I'm calling the police.

# Speak to me #

# I swear I'm listening #

# Show me all the things #

# I'm missing #

# And let me kindly #

# Step aside #

# Let these heavenly objects collide #

# Speak to me #

# I'm finally listening #

# And oh, how easily #

# You were distracted #

# And oh, how often #

# You overreacted #

# And oh, how easily #

# Deceived... #

There's just that sense

of security that you have

when you're wearing Watch Pal.

I mean, what do kids love?

A pal, a friend.

I mean, this is the product

that a kid can say,

"Hey, this is my pal.

I have my pal with me."

Please tell me this is

gonna be okay, Axle.

- We're gonna be fine.

- We're gonna be fine?

I don't know if you noticed,

but it's the same price.

He has got more games, and to be honest,

it looks a hell of a lot cooler.

- None of that matters.

- Kids love robots.

- They don't have compasses.

- Kids don't use compasses.

Maybe they need to.

- Maybe you should shut your mouth.

- Hey, guys, enough.

Now look, I'll admit

he's got a great product.

It's futuristic.

It's got a personality.

That's not making me

feel any better.

But what he doesn't have is me,

the first invention from Robert Axle

since the one that maimed 3000 people.

Nobody has more to prove.

Nobody's got more eyes on them.

An invention? I thought

we were calling them fabrications.

We're gonna get rid of that word,

'cause that word

is just tripping people up.

Let's call it an invention.

Call it whatever people need to call it

to know that this is the answer,

that this is what one of the most

prolific inventors in modern history

has been thinking about

for the past decade...

an idea with so much promise,

that's gonna so profoundly

impact child safety

that everyone's gonna forget

about all their missing fingers.

- Write that down.

- Write what down?

What he just said. It's important.

Before we forget, write it down.

- Isn't that Sheila's job?

- Write it down.

No, whoa whoa,

don't write on that.

- Okay. What is it?

- It's just my good luck charm.

All right, look... ooh.

Ow, that hurt.

Knee to the head... not good.

Look, in life you have to help

your partner.

Percy, way to get up high.

Look at Conner Ann, man.

Wow, you guys are doing good.

Good rope climbing, impressive.

All right, you're disgusting.

You smell.

Get the hell out of here.

Good work. Good job.

What do you want?

Could you give this

to Claire for me?

What is that?

It's an invitation

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes