Fawlty Towers

Sorry, I forgot my key.

Oh, thanks Hello, Fawlty Towers.

Yes.

Yes.

No, this afternoon, that would be fine.

No, it's 16 Elwood Avenue.

16, that's it.

Thank you.

I'll just put these outside, shall I, dear? Polly, this is where we'll be if you need us.

There's the number.

If Mr.

Stubbs wants to know anything, just ring, but don't if you don't have to.

It's the first weekend we've had off since Audrey had her hysterectomy.

Don't worry, I know what they've got to do.

Somebody called about a garden gnome.

They're going to deliver it this afternoon.

Oh, good.

Golf shoes.

Good morning, Major.

Very well, thank you.

Does everyone know about dinner tonight? I think so.

But you'll be able to manage breakfast tomorrow? There's just the ladies and the Major.

Where are those shoes? "One moment, please.

I will het your vill.

" Manuel, "Get your bill.

" I will het your bill.

Get.

Get.

Ga ga.

Get.

Get.

Ga ga.

- That's it.

- I will get your vill.

Polly oh, Manuel, put those in the cases.

Ah, Manuel "One moment, please.

I will get your bill.

" What? "I will get your bill," Sí? What are you talking about? Listen.

No, please.

"Today we have veef, beal or sothages.

" - What? - Bangers.

- Shut up.

- Eh? - Shut up.

- Oh, Sí, sí, shut up.

- Yes, I understand.

- Well, will you please shut up? - Sí, sí, I shut up.

- Now, while we're away - Shut up.

- Shut up! While we're away gone Clean the windows.

Oh, look Cuando nosotoros somos away What's "away" in Spanish? You know, "away.

" "away!" - Oh, sí, sí.

- No, not you.

While we're away, clean the windows.

- Green? - No, no.

Look Clean the windows.

- Clean the windows.

- Clean.

- Good morning, Fawlty.

- Good morning, Major.

See? Clean the windows.

Comprendo.

Comprendo.

Oh, Mr.

Fawlty.

Good morning, Ladies.

Ursula and I think you're a very naughty boy.

- Don't we, Ursula? - Oh, God.

Oh, really? Going away for the weekend, leaving us all alone.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

But we know where you're going.

The cat's out of the bag.

- You and your wife.

- It's only Paignton.

Have a lovely time.

It'll do you good.

You need to get away from things.

Well, we're going together.

Don't you worry about us.

Oh, all right.

You know men are coming to do some work here? - Yes.

- You'll have to go to Gleneagles for your din-dins tonight.

And Polly will be in charge, if you need anything.

Have a lovely weekend.

Don't do anything we wouldn't do.

Just a little breathing, surely.

I must buzz off now.

- "Buzz"? - Yes, you know, - like babbity-bumble.

- Oh, buzz-buzz-buzz Polly, I have asked you, please, not to leave your strange drawings lying around.

What is this supposed to be? It's just a sketch.

What are you trying to do? This is a junkyard, isn't it? - Can I have it? - Why's it got a collar and tie under it? - It's not finished.

- It's very good old soup tins, broken down car, dustbins, mattresses, hoovers, and a nice smart collar and tie underneath.

I mean, what's it supposed to be? It's not important.

Can I have it back? It's irritating.

Do you ever sell any of those? I sell a few portraits now and again, thank you.

I haven't much hope for this one.

Would you give me that stapler? What is the point of something like that? - No point.

- No point? What's the point in being alive? Beats me.

We're stuck with it, I suppose.

Would you give me the stapler? - If you don't go on at me.

- The stapler.

Sorry.

What's the matter with you today? I didn't get much sleep last night.

We are leaving you in charge.

I didn't do it to spite you, I promise.

Good, you won't feel so tired, then.

Fawlty Towers.

- Basil.

- Who is it? It's Mr.

O'Reilly.

That's odd.

It must be about the garden wall.

Hello, O'Reilly? When are you coming to finish our garden wall? We are tired of having that pile of bricks blocking I told you not to call.

My wife thinks Stubbs is doing the doors.

What time will they be here, then? All right, 4:00.

If there are any problems tell your men to get Polly to call me.

Do you understand? Next week's definite, is it? That would be nice, won't it? We've waited for that wall about as long as Hadrian.

No, Hadrian.

The Emperor Hadrian.

It doesn't matter.

I'll explain next week.

Thank you so much.

Goodbye.

You don't really believe all that? We've been waiting four months.

Why should he do it now? - I think he will this time.

- If you had used Stubbs - We'd have had a huge bill.

- You get what you pay for.

O'Reilly's a cut-price, cock-up artist.

- Oh, Sybil.

- With Stubbs you may pay a little more A "little more"? Yes, but he does a really professional job and he does it when he says he will.

You'll see.

When's he coming? About 4:00, I think.

You're going to wear that jacket? Yes, I am, thank you, dear.

You just haven't a clue, have you? You wouldn't understand.

It's called style.

Yoo-hoo! They're here.

How fabulous.

Do try to be agreeable this weekend.

Have I got everything? Handbag, knuckle dusters, flick knife.

Come on, Basil, don't hang about.

I'm just coming, dear.

Quick, Polly.

The men will be here at 4:00.

You know what they're doing? They're putting the door through to the kitchen.

At the bottom of the stairs, and? - And? - And blocking the drawing room door.

- Blocking it? - So we can have privacy away from the plebs.

Don't you take anything in? Where's my cap? One other thing, when the men come, they won't be Stubbs', they'll be O'Reilly's.

Where is it? - What? O'Reilly? - Yes! Does Mrs.

Fawlty know? I wouldn't mention it.

They don't quite hit off.

I had to change it! Stubbs has a virus, or something.

She said you were never using him again.

I don't He's sending his best man.

All you have to do is take a quick look when they finish.

Any problems, call me.

Have a nice weekend.

If she asks me, I'll tell her.

Thank you so much.

I've always been a great admirer of loyalty.

I forget! It doesn't matter, Manuel.

De nada.

Oh.

Oh, is Mr.

Fawlty.

- Shh.

- Shh.

Windows, por favor.

Oh, Polly, finish.

I tired.

That's wonderful.

Hold it a second.

Qué? Quiero subir para dormir.

No, speak me English.

Is good.

I learn.

I want to go upstairs in a moment.

Er Qué? I - go - upstairs.

Ah, sí.

Is easy.

- For a little sleep.

- Is difficult.

For siesta.

- Siesta? Little sleep? - Yes.

Ah, same in Spanish.

When O'Reilly's men come, you must wake me.

When orelly men come Sí.

Manuel, listen.

When men come here, - Señor O'Reilly - Ah, when men come? You come upstairs and wake me up.

Despiérteme.

Sí.

When men come, subiré a tu cuarto a despertarte.

Antes que empiecen a trabajar aquí.

- Sí? - Comprendo.

- Finished.

- Eh? Oh.

Manuel! Manuel Towers.

How are you? Is nice today? Good.

Goodbye.

Oh, good day.

Hello.

How are you? - Number 16.

- Sí, 16, - but no eat.

- What? 16 is free, but not possible Is this number 16? No, no.

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