Fear

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The fear in her eyes and

the knife in the chest

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That's my last memory of my mother

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That's why I had to go

to prison for four years

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Even though she survived it

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After that it went good for a while

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Until I met that 70 year old

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"Oh my god" were her last words

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Then she was dead

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I didn't know her and I didn't steal anything

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That damned idea was suddenly there

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I just had to

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I couldn't explain it

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So I went to prison for 10 years

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Then the psychologists got interested

in my inner life

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When they asked me about my dreams,

I told them about flowers

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Flowers

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Always just flowers

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Apart from that, I could fantasize

in my mind whatever I wanted

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It helped me control this urge to...

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Just let it all out

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Prison exists so one

can better oneself

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But that urge to torture a human,

that's one thing I never could get rid of

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If you sum everything up

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Then I've been behind bars more than

half of my life

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Only, I never commited a crime

out of pure joy

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There was always a little something,

that was added to it

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I knew, It will happen again

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It has to

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But this time they won't get me

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Nobody came to pick me up

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No family, Nothing

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I would've been too excited anyway

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I couldn't sleep the whole last night

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Finally free

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I already had a concrete plan

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The details were all fixed

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Now it was only neccesary to find somebody

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But I didn't know where I was

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I've lived in this town for 10 years

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Only, behind bars you can't get

to know a city

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My first question was: Where to?

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I thought:
Where can you meet somebody?

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So I went to the first Caf that was open

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There were two attractive girls

sitting in there

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They were still pretty young

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But that would've worked

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I felt a bit awkward, dressed as I was

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But after 10 years of prison,

you can't be dressed modern

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They stared at me

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I was on it immediately

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They literally provoked me

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My fantasy immediately began to go wild

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I wondered how I could approach them

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That excited me enormously

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I immediately imagined the greatest things

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But it would've caused too much

attention in the Caf

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Everyone would have heard us

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That wasn't a good opportunity

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It was absolutely neccesary to find

a quiet place

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and everything would've gone on well

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Then a coincidence helped me

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- Where to?

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Straigt ahead, please

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The opportunity in the Taxi was great

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It wouldn't be a robbery,

I wasn't interested in money

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That woman reminded me of my

first girlfriend, Anna-Marie

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A real whore

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I was 14 at the time, and she was

significantly older than me

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She nearly could've been my mother

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We sat on a bench in the park

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I had to remove a shoe

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She took the shoe away from me...

- What are you doing?

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she only would return it to me

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...if I gave her a kiss

- What are you doing there?

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Anna-Marie then took me home with her

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She seduced me

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That's when I was able to get active

for the first time

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First I tied her up, then sealed

her mouth shut...

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Then I hit her

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With a belt and later with a real whip

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She couldn't get enough

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I really enjoyed it

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I became Anna-Marie's slave,

and it really excited me

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Hey What are you doing !!

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Nobody had followed me

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Where to and how long I'd run, I don't know

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I didn't know that area

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I'd never been there

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The house seemed desolate to me

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I wasn't sure if somebody lived in there

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I noticed no one

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and didn't hear anything

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No human soul around

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I thought, that's a paradise for me

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The house was well protected

by the park and the trees

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I didn't have to be afraid of neighbours here

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The locatin was perfect

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No danger of being spotted here

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I could hardly breathe

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I was incredibly excited

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