Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas Page #3

9.

DUKE:

Why not? If a thing's worth doing,

it's worth doing right.

DUKE and GONZO are up and off. The DWARF chases after them

with the (very large) check in his hand.

They sweep out through the Lounge door, unaware of it

swinging back into the face of the pursuing DWARF.

DUKE:

I tell you, my man. This is the

American Dream in action! We'd be

fools not to ride this strange

torpedo all the way to the end.

GONZO:

Indeed. We must do it. What kind

of story is this?

EXT. BEVERLY WILLS HOTEL - FRONT ENTRANCE - DAY

DUKE and GONZO emerge.

DUKE:

The Mint 400! The richest off-road

race for motorcycles and dune-

buggies in the history of organized

sport!

(handing parking

ticket to Valet)

-- a fantastic spectacle in honor

of some fatback grossero who owns

the luxurious Mint Hotel in the

heart of downtown Vegas... at least

that's what the press release says.

Their car arrives -- rusted out, smashed door panels. They

jump in.

DUKE:

We're going to have to drum it up

on our own. Pure Gonzo Journalism.

And they're off in a cloud of black exhaust as the nose-

bleeding DWARF stumbles out with the unpaid bill in his hand.

EXT. SUNSET BLVD - DAY

The PINTO races through shot.

DUKE (V/O)

Getting hold of the drugs and

shirts had been no problem...

10.

EXT. POLYNESIAN BAR - DAY

The PINTO skids to a halt outside Polynesian bar, the back

window full of Hawaiian shirts.

DUKE (V/O CONT'D)

... but the car and tape recorder

were not easy things to round up at

6:
30 on a Friday afternoon in

Hollywood.

INT. POLYNESIAN BAR - DAY

TORN YELLOW PAGES with dealer's ads ticked off lie in a pile

as GONZO yells into a PAYPHONE. DUKE carries over four

Singapore Slings.

GONZO:

O.K., O.K., yes. Hang onto it.

We'll be there in thirty minutes.

(to DUKE -- hand over

the PHONE)

I finally located a car with

adequate horsepower and the proper

coloring.

(into PHONE)

What?! OF COURSE the gentleman has

a major credit card! Do you

realize who the f*** you're talking

to?

DUKE:

Don't take any guff from these

swine.

(GONZO slams the

phone down)

Now we need a sound store with the

finest equipment. Nothing dinky.

One of those new Belgian Heliowatts

with a voice-activated shotgun

mike, for picking up conversations

in oncoming cars.

GONZO:

We won't make the nut unless we

have unlimited credit.

DUKE:

We will. You Samoans are all the

same. You have no faith in the

essential decency of the white

man's culture.

11.

EXT. SUNSET BLVD - DUSK

The PINTO races down street.

DUKE (V/O)

The store was closed, but the

salesman said he would wait, if we

hurried...

EXT. SUNSET BLVD - TRAFFIC JAM - DUSK

They're stuck in a traffic jam -- clouds of exhaust. DUKE

BANGS ON THE HORN IN FURY.

DUKE (V/O)

But we were delayed en route when a

Stingray in front of us killed a

pedestrain.

Directly in front of them: BLOODY CARNAGE -- a covered

corpse is loaded into an ambulance by PARAMEDICS.

EXT. CAR RENTAL AGENCY - NIGHT

DUKE (V/O)

We had trouble, again, at the car

rental agency.

Behind the wheel of the RED SHARK: DUKE grins with

satisfaction -- checking it out. A nervous AGENT holds out

a clipboard. DUKE signs without looking at the rental papers.

AGENT:

Say... uh... you fellas are going

to be careful with this car, aren't

you?

DUKE:

Of course.

DUKE throws the car into reverse -- roars backwards past the

gas pumps to where GONZO is unloading their rusted out car.

AGENT:

Well, good god! You just backed

over that two foot concrete abutment

and you didn't even slow down!

Forty-five in reverse! And you

barely missed the pump!

DUKE:

No harm done. I always test the

transmission that way. The rear

end. For stress factors.

12.

GONZO transfers boxes of new sound equipment and a large box

of rum and ice into the RED SHARK.

AGENT:

Say. Are you fellows drinking?

DUKE:

Not me. We're responsible people.

He JAMS the car into LOW GEAR and lurches into traffic. The

AGENT runs into the street and helplessly watches them go.

GONZO:

There's another worrier. He's

probably all cranked up on speed.

EXT. RUNDOWN BEACH HOUSE - NIGHT

STRANGE AND MAGICAL. In the moonlight: the silhouetted

figures of DUKE and GONZO as they pack the RED SHARK.

DUKE (V/O)

We spent the rest of that night

rounding up materials and packing

the car. Then we ate some mescaline

and went swimming.

The surf crashes in the distance...

EXT. PACIFIC OCEAN - NIGHT

DUKE cries out as he dives into the ocean. He lets himself

float up through the silvery bubbles...

DUKE AND GONZO FLOAT BEATIFICALLY IN THE GLOWING, SHIMMERING

MOONLIT SURF.

DUKE (V/O)

Our trip was different. It was to

be a classic affirmation of

everything right and true in the

national character; a gross,

physical salute to the fantastic

possibilities of life in this

country. But only for those with

true grit...

EXT. AND EVEN FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD TO LAS VEGAS - DAY

DUKE's intense face.

DUKE:

...and we're chock full of that!

13.

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