Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas Page #4

GONZO:

Damn right!

DUKE:

My attorney understands this

concept, despite his racial handicap.

But do you?!

The HITCHHIKER nods -- giggles -- petrified.

DUKE (V/O)

He said he understood, but I could

see in his eyes that he didn't. He

was lying to me.

GONZO:

My heart!

GONZO clutches his heart. The car veers off the road and

screeches to a halt. He slumps over the wheel.

GONZO (CONT'D)

Where's the medicine?

DUKE:

The medicine? Yes, it's right here.

DUKE spills out 4 AMYL CAPSULES from a tin.

DUKE:

Don't worry, this man has a bad

heart... Angina Pectoris. But we

have a cure for it.

DUKE and GONZO break 2 AMYLS apiece -- INHALE DEEPLY. GONZO

falls back on the seat, staring straight up at the sun. The

HITCHHIKER looks petrified.

GONZO:

(suddenly flailing

his naked arms at the sky)

Turn up the f***ing music! My

heart feels like an alligator!

Volume! Clarity! Bass! We must

have bass! What's wrong with us?

Are you goddamn old ladies?

DUKE:

(turns up music to

full volume)

You scurvy shyster bastard! Watch

your language! You're talking to a

Doctor of Journalism!

14.

GONZO:

(laughing uncontrollably)

What the f*** are we doing out here?

Somebody call the police! We need

help!

DUKE:

(to HITCHHIKER)

Pay no attention to this swine. He

can't handle the medicine.

(he begins laughing)

GONZO:

(to the HITCHHIKER)

The truth is we're going to Vegas

to croak a scag baron named Savage

Henry. I've known him for years

but he ripped us off -- and you

know what that means, right?

GONZO pulls out a .357 Magnum -- waves it around.

GONZO (CONT'D)

Savage Henry has cashed his check!

We're going to rip his lungs out!

DUKE:

And eat them! That bastard won't

get away with this! What's going

on in this country when a scum

sucker like that can get away with

sandbagging a Doctor of Journalism?

GONZO cracks ANOTHER AMYL.

The HITCHHIKER SCRAMBLES OUT OF THE CAR, DOWN THE TRUNK LID,

AND FLEES.

HITCHHIKER:

Thanks for the ride. Thanks a lot.

I like you guys. Don't worry about

me.

DUKE:

(yells)

Wait a minute! Come back and have

a beer!

The HITCHHIKER RUNS from car.

15.

GONZO:

Good riddance. That boy made me

nervous. Did you see his eyes?

(laughing)

Jesus, this is good medicine.

DUKE glances back at the running HITCHHIKER.

DUKE:

(suddenly clambering

into the front seat)

Move over!! We have to get out of

California before that kid finds a

cop!

DUKE GUNS THE RED SHARK -- TAKES OFF DOWN THE ROAD...

EXT. UNBELIEVABLY FAR DOWN THE ROAD TO LAS VEGAS - DAY

THE RED SHARK races -- DUKE at the wheel -- straight ahead

driving.

DUKE (V/O)

It was absolutely imperative that

we get to the Mint Hotel before the

deadline for press registration.

Otherwise, we might have to pay for

our suite.

GONZO wrestles with a shaker of COCAINE. The top comes off

and the powder swirls away on the wind.

GONZO:

Oh, Jesus! Did you see what god

just did to us?

DUKE:

God didn't do that! You did it!

You're a f***ing narcotics agent,

that was our cocaine, you pig!

GONZO:

(waving his .357

Magnum at Duke)

You better be careful. Plenty of

vultures out here. They'll pick

your bones clean before morning.

DUKE:

You whore!

GONZO tears up a BLOTTER OF ACID.

16.

GONZO:

Here -- chew this. It's your half

of the acid.

DUKE takes his half -- chews it.

DUKE:

How long do I have?

GONZO:

Maybe thirty more minutes. As your

attorney, I advise you to drive at

top speed. It'll be a goddamn

miracle if we can get there before

you turn into a wild animal. Are

you ready for that? Checking into

a Vegas hotel under a phony name

with intent to commit capital fraud

and a head full of acid.

DUKE (V/O)

Thirty minutes. It was going to be

very close.

The RED SHARK screams along the highway past a billboard:

"DON'T GAMBLE WITH MARIJUANA! \ IN NEVADA: POSSESSION - 20

YEARS; SALE - LIFE!!"

EXT. LAS VEGAS MINT HOTEL - DUSK

The RED SHARK pulls up outside the MINT. A great banner

spanning the street announces the MINT 400.

DUKE can feel the drug surging up inside him. Clutching a

buckled beer can, sweat pouring, he stares fixedly at the

TICKET the ATTENDANT gives him.

DUKE:

I need this, right?

ATTENDANT:

I'll remember your face.

DUKE stares -- losing it...

DUKE (V/O)

There is no way of explaining the

terror I felt.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - DAY

DUKE waits in line at the front desk -- RIGID WITH PENT UP

ENERGY. GONZO's ahead of him -- muscling in -- trying to

queue jump and failing.

17.

DUKE (V/O)

I was pouring sweat. My blood is

too thick for Nevada. I've never

been able to properly explain

myself in this climate.

A COUPLE move off and DUKE jerks forward -- stops -- eyes

fixed on the stony FEMALE RESERVATIONS CLERK.

DUKE (V/O CONT'D)

Be quiet, be calm... name, rank,

and press affiliation, nothing

else...

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